Fighting for your attention

Continue

Fighting for your attention

Continue

What do you remember of the year 2000? I remember watching Scary Movie and regretting it,  Shouting to Papa Roach on the radiom, and joining an online forume called Scruffy Dragon. Despite what the name might suggest, it was a forum dedicated to M.U.G.E.N. projects. Using a borderline stolen fighting game engine, this  rag tag group of fans where working on a great endeavor: Marvel vs DC.  By coopting the Capcom Sprites for Marvel characters, half of the animation job seems to have been done for them. But to get the DC, other, or the same, sprites had to be altered, in a process called "Frankenspriting." The project continued, with no end in sight.  Years passed. 2 years. 5 years. 10 years. The project moved steadilly, and with ever ambitious choices for it, and terms like "phases" thrown in for good measure. I'd have waited forever for  such a game, and seems I might as well wait forever. I'd read about it, download the stages, but I can't say I'd played Marvel vs DC.

Last year I went on la little  bit about Friendship Is Fighting, the  fan game that carries on into the bizarre phenomenom that  has enraptured thousands of grown ass men to   a show for girls about ponies. Including me, I guess.  Since then  a small beta test has leaked. This also would sometimes happen at Scruffydragons, and the drama would quickly escalate into long threads filled with accusations.But I can say I played FiF, if only against a stationary player 2.

So, here's this: I want to tip my hat to Mane 6, for not taking 10 years to make a fangame. It is to your credit that this game, in the time it's taken, is already ridiculously good. The presentation is great and consitent, the graphics are beautiful and the animations are fluid, and I suspect your levels of dedication are key to this. I don't know how you that last part, though I suspect tracing of actual animations. If a group of dedicated people can get together to create soimething like this, who knows what else could be done?

This is what I had written before I found out Hasbro sent cease and desist orders to Mane 6. I guess, in a way, we all knew this was one of the possibilities. I would recomend continued, secret work on it, followed by a leak. 

Continue

7 Simpsons games I want to play

Still Better than Bart vs the Space Mutants

The Simpsons and videogames have a rich history together. I mean, not from videogames of the Simpsons, mind you. Those have been 80% garbage.  But of Videogames in the Simpsons.

 So with more than 20 years of gags, videogames where bound to come up more than a couple of times for America's favorite yellow skinned  family. But whether they're throwaway gags or key part of the plot, here are some Simpsons Videogames I want to play.

But don't JUST read this, guys. We live in an amazing era where tools for making most types of games can be found for at least cheap and often free.  Litterally all of this games can be realized, one way or another. Sure, someone out there is fan enough and crazy enough to bring at least one of this screaming into the real world. I mean, I know it's lazy to ask, but...I'm lazy. Give me...

Dash Dingo

Crikey!

Dash Dingo is an arcade Platformer, a parody of Crash Bandicoot, itself an obvious ripoff of Sonic the Hedgehog, itself a hodgepodge mix of Dragonball an Felix the Cat with a little Star Wars in there. It(Uh...Dash Dingo I mean) first shows up in the episode "Lisa gets an A"

While Videogames depicted in the Simpsons are usually not realistic depictions of gaming, Dash's eternal grimace is a love letter to badly animated early PS1 games everywhere. It even gets Crash's ultra cheap instadeaths!

Timewaster

It's own...fucking...wikia page...

Nothing is known about Timewaster. It is an arcade game in the background of a few episodes. But it's such a good name it needs to exist somehow.

Could it be some type of bullethell sidecrolling shooter about a time traveler? Or maybe it's about a murderous antropomorphic clock? Hopefully it's better than Time Killers if it does, though. Piece of crap....



Mortank Kombat

I'm just wondering if this is some commentary on Tianmen Square or not...

The Episode "Marge Be Not Proud" is one of the most game centric one of them all, with Bart's obssession with  Mortal Kombat Knockoff Bonestorm.

I am not going to talk about Bonestorm. 2 crazy Shokan beating the tar out of each other while bones rain down on them? Played it. But I will draw our attention to  it's advert.

The Ad has two kids who are bored to tears with their current videogame, until XTREME SANTA breaks  through the wall, and shoots Bonestorm in to their console with a bazooka.

But what where they playing that was so boring? A game (I've dubbed it as you have read, as it has no name and I'm not nearly as creative as I should be) that has Liu Kang, of Mortal Kombat fame, fight a tank! A TANK! With his fists and feet!

 This is a parody of a fighting game done by a parody of a fighitng game ad, and this is what it's saying you find  boring? What's the MUGEN comunity good for if not making ridiculous one second gags into full products?

 Death Kill City 2: Death Kill City Stories

A baseball bat AND a tire iron?

Acronymed DKC2: DKS, the true gameplay of this game is somewhat difficult to understand. It most certainly is a parody of Grand Theft Auto and it's ilk, with random violence errupting (a robot is fighting a hoodlum when a pink female ninja kills them both, and it's never clear which of the three is being played by anyone) in the titular city eventually only ended after all life on earth  is erradicated, marking THE end of level 1.

It's a cute gag, but I wonder what level 2 is like? I don't want to wonder, just give it to me!

Larry the Looter

Larry the Looter is a sidescrolling action game. As the titular malcontent, you must vandalize and rob until what I assume is some kind of ending, playing to, or perhaps lampooning, videogamer obssessions with collectathons. Why didn't Rockstart come up with that one? Why don't you?

Sure, we have plenty of open world games where you can shoot prostitutes, but we don't have a game explicitely for stealing useless material trappings outside of the Elder Scroll series(wait, that's how everyone plays it, right?)


Cat Fight

My dad never bought my affection....sob...

Cat Fight is a one on one fighitng game featuring an assumedly mostly female cast. Gameplay eschews tried and true tropes and tactics  of the genre like air juggles and combos, and instead  assumes a more realistic take on what women fighting actually looks like: Mostly hairpulls, scratches, slaps, and name-calling.

Well, the DLC would be crazy, that's for sure.

I mean, I've played plenty of female only fighting games, but none of them have presented me with an interesting mechanic for hairpulling!  It would be the most inventive game in the genre since Divekick got a publisher! I would just HAVE to dedicate it a spot on Fighitng Female February next year for sure!

Continue

Son of a Pitch: Street Fighter 4 M.U.G.E.N. edition

Wat Stwengt! Bot Dun Fohgut dea many guyslike ew oll over dewowld.

You know, I've always wanted to make a fighting game. You have no idea. And when I first learned of M.U.G.E.N more than 10 years ago, I thought I'd finally be able to. Well, turns out it was a lot more complicated than I'd thought.



Still, I 've always had M.U.G.E.N. in my mind one way or another. It's been kept alive by a community that is as vibrant as it is overzealous, and even the makers of M.U.G.E.N going into Odinsleep couldn't kill the dream. Some truly amazing games and characters have been made by the community. But I think there's been a huge oversight.





Street Fighter IV. I don't think anyone has made stages, or chars of Street Fighter IV. But why? It's got cool characters and It wouldn't be any more work than any other M.U.G.E.N sprite ripped character. Hell, it's be even less, with the small amount of moves and frames the game has. It's just a Nes game for crying out loud!

Wait, you thought I meant THE Street Fighter IV made by Capcom in 2009? Silly me! I should have been more specific. I meant Gouder Co,'s 1993 Bootleg Street Fighter 4 for the NES.

They put the name on the character select screen just to fuck with you.

Mr Gouder must have known that making a fighting game for the NES was a bad idea. The system didn't have the input speed or graphic capabilities for something as complex as a fighting game. However, he must have liked money and facing legal charges for copyright infringement, because he chose to name his game Street Fighter IV, despite Street Fighter III not existing until several years later. I can just imagine being a kid in 1993 that has spent hours with Ryu, Ken and the rest of the gang from Street Fighter 2, suddenly being faced with a game that promises to skip over a whole sequel. However, the game is, unlike the Kart Fighter Nes Bootleg, only barely related to Street Fighter. This Bootleg went all the way, forging new ground into derivative plagiarism.

Shameku...Shoddyuken!

The cast consists of Shoto ripoff Goho Li, and his identical twin Cliff, Playboy Kitty Tracy and her doppleganger Bunny, Buddhist monk Moon and his smirking duplicate Chunfo, Twin Shotos Rober and Pasta, and tough army guys Ranboo and Stanlong.

They ruled out "Cobro", "Racky" and "Stepormamomwilshootyu" early on.

So what am I asking of the M.U.G.E.N. community? To remake a Nes game that had 4 Ryus and a Erin ripoff? Somewhat. I mean, I know you guys like frankenspriting and shotos. Well, how about if instead of making yet another version of Ryu, we frankensprite a new Street Fighter IV? We could figure all new ways to make Pasta different from Rober. I mean, honestly, there's less Shotos in Bootleg SFIV than there where in actual SFIV, and you guys still can't live without that Akuma.

It is dan all over again...

I, as I said, am no good at M.U.G.E.N. At any part of it. And what I learnt is that what the community most needs is coders. Which is part of what I'm terrible at. But maybe, if more than one of us gets their shit together, we can finally bring Tracy back. Who's with me?

Continue

Fighting Female February: Strip Fighter 2 is not very good

Different Copyrights? Someone...bought...the Strip Fighter...Franchise?

Look,  I get you. This whole "rape" business in porn fighting games is way too much to  stomach for you. Whatever happened to good old days, where there wasn't enough memory in a game to pull off something like detailed unconsensual penetration by a hermaphrodite on a preteen girl? How did gamers get their rocks off while satisfying a minimum of videogaming? Why don't we take a look back at the PC Engine not-classic Strip Fighter 2 and find out?

See, Strip Fighter was trying to cash in on the Street Fighter name fame since it was cool to do so. I don't understand if they actually meant to use the name to bring attention to themselves or if they where going for the confused uncles and stepfathers of the world. What I do understand is how huge the jump was from 2 to 4. Here's a visual comparison.

Dry Humping(1994)
 
Dry Humping(2010)




Not to talk more about the future game, but playing the old game makes me realize that each special move and stage and grab and winpose has been completely ported. It wasn't a quick cash in on the Strip Fighter name, no siree. Someone, some human being had to look back at Strip Fighter 2, a mail in game for the PC Engine, and play it, to make sure it was faithful. TO STRIP FIGHTER 2.

Is that Kristen Kreuk I see?

But let's not look  at Strip Fighter 2 as a modern game. After all, we'd have to dismiss years of fictional development  including Strip Fighter 3, Strip Fighter SEX and Nardvel Super-eros vs Strip Fighter and Tits-I-Knock-On vs Strip Fighter(I got a million of 'em, folks).  It's not fair for it to compete with your precious Blaz Blue.

Still, if you have Blaz Blue, play that instead. In fact, just about any game you can mention is better than Strip Fighter 2. The gameplay here is wonky. Gameplay wise, you have six buttons, and two to five special moves
  The controls aren't even slightly responsive and  the physics are below standards of even those times.  It's hard to describe how awful the gameplay is on this without giving you a controller. I guess my best description would be that it's like a glorified Tiger Handheld game.

Hey, nice try with the flattering pic, Amanda.

The six original Strip Fighters are here. Bella the Native American, Amanda the Prowrestler, Medusa the mistress of prehensile hair, Yuki the Martial artist, Nina the dominatrix, and Martha the Mohawked.  The design was as far away from the anime escapades of Super 4 as possible. You can even tell people's ethnicities!

The graphics are a mixed bag.  The backgrounds look nice, but the characters are a little too minimalist for something meant to titillate. Further, there are not enough frames in them. This obviously becomes a gameplay issue as well. Music is nice, though.
 

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant: the Videogame.

If you're here for the smut(and really, what else would you be here for?), it comes  in two flavors:  Special moves that magically disrobe your character, and  striping. The Special moves are a PAIN to pull of because of  control issues. And by the time you're pulled one off(no pun intended) you will be half dead. All for half a second of pixel tits. Not worth it.

Look, I'm gonna hang out here with the timer until you grow up and put some fucking  pants on.

The striping is another deal. After wining a round, you will be treated to a  limited animation girl in light clothes. Wining a second round  removes her clothes. Her vagina is censored, though. Look, buy a porn mag, and  get Rock em Sock em Robots. Everytime you win, pull out a page and look at it for 10 seconds. That's Strip Fighter 2.

Penelope Cruz: The big hair years.

You have "Game Start" and Versus. Since the phrase "Do you want to play Strip Fighter?" is a great way to make enemies, let's explore "Game Start". You beat each girl, and watch each strip, until you win them all. Then all the stripings are repeated. No final boss, no credits no nada. There , we explored it. What? That was pretty much MY experience.

Go home and become a little girl!

Playing Strip Fighter 2 makes me even more amazed that 4 got made. 2 is probably on the lower end of the scale of unplayable fighting games I've tried, probably under TMNT Tournament Fighters(Genesis) and Shaq Fu. Was it the result of a corporate buyout, where one guy was looking at IPs and went: "hey, we now own something called Strip Fighter 2!" Was there a lot of demand for a sequel to Strip Fighter 2? Is Strip 4 even a legal sequel?  Can I make one? So many answers that, unlike Amanda's breasts, will never be bared to me.

If do right, no want to defense.

But in the end, there wasn't a time when Strip Fighter 2 would have been good enough as a fighting game.  Sure, it might have  entertained  horny little kids for about a week or so with it's nude women, but in the end, anything else that has nude women and doesn't fight back so much is automatically better, and virtually any fighting game is better.

Continue

Steed Fighter

Anyone who opposes Fluttershy will be destroyed.

As we enter deeper into Fighting Female July, it behooves me to talk about a fan game that was announced while I was out, and was unable to react to.



See, I've always wanted to make a fighting game based around my favorite properties. Used to be Sonic and Disney, then DC and Marvel. I mean, I loved fighting games, and I loved Aladdin. Why not?



I've found even with the difficulty bar lowered, making a game probably still takes more time and skill than one internet addict has. And I'm pretty seasonal. It's why I never finished the Sonichu racing game. I moved on. Well, that and the slowdown.

Heh. It was to be funny.

But whenever I see people out there, toiling away at some cease and desist magnet of a project, I feel they are doing the lord's work. Because we've already had 20 Dragonball games, but no one's rushing to make a new Killer Instinct. They aren't gonna make it. But we need it. It needs to exist. We need to play as She-Ra and we need to play as Mona Lisa, but that's not how the world works.



That's why I wanna give a shout out to the Bronies(still hate the term) at Mane6, who are developing a Friendship is Magic fighting game. I found out while looking up info and tutorials on Fighter Maker 2002, the engine used to create Pokemon Type Wild and Super Strip Fighter IV. The idea crept up in my head slightly before, but you know me and making games. And now I want it. So bad.



And I mean, it makes sense. You have a big cast of characters with differing powers and skills, a wide range of settings and a big fandom. It's not hard to see each character fitting a playstyle. I mean, except for grappling, of course. It's probably possible, though.



However, in keeping with the franchise's theme, It should probably be a tag team game. I mean, pay me no mind, I don't even know if FM2002 can do tag teams and the game is probably halfway planned. Just... I mean, without tag teams, no one is really being friends, unless it's those really rowdy friends that punch each other and watch wrestling.



I am also concerned with balancing. I mean, Pegasi can probably play keepaway all day, and Unicorns can force choke the shit out of somebody, but earth ponies are likely to end low tier. If Celestia or Nightmare Moon step in the ring as playable, you bet your ass shit will be broken.

Dear Princess Celestia: Today I learned that spamming is not nice...bitch.

Outside of the main sextet of height defective horses, the cast is being kept under wraps. But being there are 16 planned characters, I can safely assume they are Spike, Princess Celestia, those fucking Cutie Mark Crusaders, Trixie, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna,Old Meme Eyes, and the Mayor. And you know how good I am at guessing casts. I know it's not nice to request(I learnt that in Mugen), but can we get some Twist up in this bitch? If not, I guess I'll be gravitating towards Apple Jack the old G and P-T.






Boasting is not nice...but it makes for good winquotes.

Either way, shine on, you crazy ass diamonds. Only two pieces of advice: Remember to back up your files as much as possible, in as many places as possible. That's why we don't have a Valis fighting game right now. And second...don't tell Hasbro you are making it, cuz they will shut it down, for sure. Don't tell Comics Alliance and Topless Robot, cuz they will shine praise, but bring the unwanted attention of the copyright holders. Just keep it between you and me and the rest of the world wide web. Because the world needs it. Nerds need it. I need it. God save you, Mane6: our hopes are pinned on you.

Continue

The Fantasy Female Fighting game roster draft

More Breasts...

Before games like Tekken and Virtua Fighter  changed the landscape, making  a fighting game usually involved playing a game of chicken with how close a fighting game can come to Street Fighterwithout actually being Street Fighter. Even classics like KOF and Killer Instinct have easy lines of comparison.

This is Fighting Female July, so I wanted to know if I could pick up random female characters from different games and put them on  a roster, kind of like fantasy football, but without any possibility of it actually happening. Except, of course, M.U.G.E.N.

So I will pick and draw one female from one fighting game that fits the archetype of each Super Street Fighter character, and explain why the character fits the roster.

Ryu The Hero

  The hero is usually the character that gets selected if you just bang at the buttons on the select screen. Also, look for the hero to be in, usually at the center of, all the oficial artwork.  If that's not possible, it is usually a character that is well rounded, both morally and in terms of gameplay.

I choose, Raiya Mikazuki, Touki Densho (ENGEL EYYYES!)'s resident main character. Raiya fits the bill perfectly.

Ken The Rival

This character's story is irrevocably tied to another character. In fact, the character usually evokes the other character visually.

Mileena. Mileena, unlike my boy Scorpion, has not distracted herself from the vendetta that justified having her be a palette swap. As of late she's been presented particularly more provocative than her rival as overcompensation of the fact she's a disfigured version of a well respected, well liked member of the community. Kinda like Brandon Routh or Johnny Test.

Honda  The Overtly Japanese character

Okay, most notable fighting games are made in Japan. So, there usually is more than one Japanese character. However, sometimes you get a character representing things so particularly Japanese, that the character becomes "the Japanese Guy".

What's more Japanese than a Geisha? How about a Ninja Geisha? Following the advise of Sutefani, Namco added such a character(sort of) in the form of Setsuna, a pretty lady with a parasol-sword that  conveniently covers her beautiful kimono from all the arterial spray she's bound to cause.

 blanka  The Monster

You know, when you need a character to represent 3 things, like, say, a country, a play style, and a character archetype, things can get a little messy. Everyone wants to be represented by the hero, not the nymphomaniac. Still, you gotta have a monster character. And he's probably from a country  that will really love your game, why not?

Mantazz, from Time Killers. Female in a very technical sense, as she's an insectoid queen from another planet. Mantazz represents giant monsters from space can be ladies too just fine.

 guile The Gringo

America's history with Japan, as well as being  a world superpower, has made this an archetype in several medias of the Island nation. The American is usually pretty easy to spot. Look for military ranks,  strokes of Red, White and Blue, and engrish.

And here's another chance to say how much I love Tiffany Lords from Rival Schools. She's a completely silly, sexy, energetic character. She has a move called EXCITING KICK! That's s fucking exciting!

 balrog  The Specialist

Here's a fighter that screws up your button scheme. The style is usually a real martial art that doesn't conform to a button style presented.

Gonna go with Ryoko  from World Heroes. She's a judeka, and she's not gonna not Judo throw just because  you say it's a "punch button'.

Or How about Ryoko from Fighter's History?

 Look...I never got them done, awwight?

chun li The Chun Li

Chun Li is the first lady of fighting games. There is only one Chun Li. Her name is Chun Li.

T.Hawk the Horrible stereotype

Allright, look: Most of the Street Fighter cast is some sort of stereotype. It would just take a huuuuge, huuuge kind of stereotype for people to get actually offended at this point. This character is that. However,  that's not to say said controversial character won't be liked.  Just...not a lot.

I'm going with Voodooh, from the legendarilly shitty Shaq Fu. I mean, they put the name of  the thing into the character. Not the last time it would happen, but this is the one time it's a lady.

 zangief The Grappler

Grapplers as usually deadly in the hands of experts, but shit to newcomers who rely on their reflexes and mashing over memorization and  stats. They tend to be slow and rangeless to compensate for their damage output.

Tina Armstrong, my favorite Dead or Alive character. Sure, in DOA there's not any great amount of projectiles, and Tina's pretty great in it. And sure, she's kinda the gringo in that one, too. Still...she's a grappler, whatayawant?

dhalsim The contortionist

The contortionist is a weird character with far reaching or visually confusing moves that make for good mental games.

For this slot a slut: Rana, from Strip Fighter. She's pretty much my favorite character of that game. And it's not just because she's graphically naked and gives blowjobs to losers.

 sagat The Frustrating Subboss

Usually coming before the frustrating boss, the frustrating subboss is annoyingly difficult when the CPU uses it. That's not to say that it's not frustrating to fight against in multiplayer.

Chizuru from King of Fighters. I have no observations on Chizuru, except that she was a subboss in KOF 98. I'm a couple of years behind in this franchise.

Vega  The Psycho

There's always a psycho in these games. Watch the anime adaptation and he'll be there, licking blood of his blade, laughing maniacally, and talking about how killing is fun.

I'm putting up Sekka, from the game adaptation of the Double Dragon cartoon. I don't know much about Sekka, but she has blades coming out her arms. that counts for something, right?

Fei Long The Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee is a worldwide icon...whose name and likeness is registered by his estate. Otherwise, every fighting game would have old Brucie in it. Instead, they all have some kind of Chinese, Jeet Kune Do, doing, "whooooaaaa" yelping  warriory warrior that isn't actually Bruce Lee.

I gather this character Chie from Persona is the closest any videogame has come to a female Bruce Lee. Since the character is confirmed for the Persona fighting game, I think I will favor this once. If I decide to do this feature again I will be in big fucking trouble.

Deejay The Islander

 The islander doesn't have to actually come from an island.  He just needs more pigment on his skin than most of the other fighters and  fight in Capoeira or other fluid, dance-like moves and  be overly energetic and rhythm obsessed. 

Christie Monteiro, of Tekken fame, is the only Tekken character I've taken up that I haven't felt like a complete noob playing.  So, here's Christie.

Cammy The eye candy

Capcom, seeing the sucess a fully dressed woman fighting had, quickly realized  that Sex drops quarters, and for the Super version introduced a lady in a thong leotard that grabs people with her legs.

 We could sit here all day talking about sexy fighting game females and a lot of the other ones could probably apply, but I would have to go with Ivy. There's no denying that Soul Edge's Taki and Sophitia where meant to arouse,  but Ivy was both added  later in the series, and meant to take up the sex appeal up to eleven. She'd only gotten more blatant over the years. But let's be fair: hasn't every SC woman?

Akuma: The Hype

This character is so tough, you guys. He can, like kill whatever he wants by looking at it. He just doesn't because you're playing wrong he, like enjoys the thrill of the fight and stuff.

In that context, Athena Asimiya seems most fit. An import from an older SNK non fighting game, Athena Asimiya is a Japanese schoolgirl that is somehow related to the Greek Goddess Athena. That's kind of a big deal. She's even played the role of Boss.

Bison The Boss

It's the final threat: the meanest fighter.  He will fuck your shit up.

Or she. She will fuck your shit up. Sadly, there isn't a great history of female final fiends in fighting games, so I will have to look for the licensed one: Karai. Final Boss of 2 TMNT:  Tournament Fighters, despite the logic supporting Shredder for the role. Sure enough, Karai is frustrating to defeat, overtly evil, and not the sportest fighter in the world. So just throw her like a ragdoll.

So here's my roster. What's yours? You think I should use another game as base next year. Lemme know!

Continue

Fighting Female July: Strip Fighter IV is less bad than you'd think(but not morally)

Your name will be inscribed in the pages of fighting's nudie mag. 

..

Of all the franchises  that  could have come back to cash in on the return of Street Fighter a few years back, Strip Fighter is probably the least likely. An obscure PC Engine fighter from the olden days that featured an all girl cast with dignity baring special attacks, it's certainly less popular than Variable Geo and less recent than Battle Raper (oh, yes, that's a real thing.). But now 2010's Super Strip Fighter 4 joins those two in how far it is willing to take the whole "Porn fighter" thing.

Despite the title, Super Strip Fighter 4 is the second in a series. There's not even a vanilla Strip Fighter 4. I guess if your game has  female penile tentacled succubus as a final boss, you don't worry if people think you're trying to ride Capcom's coattails. The game actually is quite a bit above the  prequel in terms of both graphics and design, as you'd expect. Every character from the old game has been revamped, redesigned, or reworked. Notably, eagle hat enthusiast Bella has gone from this...

A woman in her Twilight years...

...to this...

"D"? She deserves at least a B in terms of "Offense".

And Clown Afro sporting Prowrestler Amanda's change was pretty big too.

The only fat woman in a fighting game ever and it ends up being porn... 

...Breasts, breasts, breasts, FIELD, Breasts...

The changes  a decade or two  can have, huh? The graphics, while featuring bland backgrounds and flashly looking sprites, are not bad at all to look at. And for a 2d game that has  the capacity to strip fighters of their clothing, the animation is fluid enough.

The cast is pretty big too. Highlights include "Snakes count as clothing, right?"-minded Medusa, civil clothed Ninja Sayaka and two male characters. For the ladies, I guess.

Most of the new characters seem way better designed than the old returning characters. I don't know, I think they went overboard trying to make the old cast sexier by making their breasts big.  That's just part of it, guys.

What the...this isn't Takein or King of Fuckers, guys. It's not even Cockcom vs SNGay. It's Strip Fighter.

The fighting concerns 3 buttons: light, medium and strong. You can fill up a hyper-bar and launch a super attack. You can also fill up the letters to strip by getting knocked down  or letting yourself open with a specific move. This is the only way to activate the Strip Hyper. This move, when it finishes off the opponent, leads to her clothes (if there where any in the first place.) to break apart and fall, and lets the girl at your mercy. That's when you can ravage  her.

Yes, there is rape in Strip Fighter 4.

Tonight: A very special surprise guest appearance by penis. 

By activating a particular combo or grab during  your opponent's clothesless misery, you can just get in there and have your way with them against their will. In the case of the final boss Succubus,  fat Japanese fanboy Jin, musclebound MMAer S  and token hermaphrodite Ai it's some kind of obvious penetration thing that lasts as long as you want to watch it. Other characters like SnM blond Nina, onion themed waitress Iku and super oily, supernaked Rana have dry humping hypers, specials and grabs that could be also construed as sexual harassment when used against females but when used against males become graphic(yet obnoxiously censored) sex And most of the old cast  hangs on to their nudifying special moves albeit in hyper form. One character's  Strip Hyper  seems to be having sex with the camera.  

 Yet, there are characters that have yet to show evidence of being able to initiate graphic scenes with either sex. I for one, believe this is total bullshit. All the males and phalus enabled women  can rape women, and some of the women can rape men. Why not the others?  Why not make them some of them rape the girls? That makes half the cast just rape victims, Not enough Lesbian Rape, man. What are you waiting for, the tournament edition?

I mean, I don't want to throw a bitch fit over this, but it's like having Mortal Kombat, and having half of the characters not have Fatalities. Why should I bother with Mari or Ran if they don't have the goods? What are they even here for? What, couldn't you come up  anything a girl can do to another girl? No scissoring? No ice dick for Yuki? No fingering? No prehensile hair penetration by Medusa? I accuse this porn game of being sexist!

You know, this mask isn't helping your dandruff problem at all. 

Since even if you wanted to, you can't play with anyone most of the time (on account of awful slowdown you get sometimes. Also, it's a porn game),  story mode is pretty much the only choice. Now, I don't know Japanese, so I guess the story is about how the evil Succubus has organized a tournament  between  girls so she can rape them. You have a an intro textwall for each character.You fight a handful of people, then face your rival. Succubus rapes your rival in a cutscene, and then you fight her. Text ending and credits.  All Japanese. Here, let me help.

My Japanese is a little spotty, though. Or as they say in Japan: "Kawasaki Ninja, Hey! El Mundo conquistaras!"

Except it's not over.  You get to fight everyone else on a harder difficulty, until you tire or beat them all.  Or beat it. I mean, no one wants to be defeated...

Besides Story you have VS mode and practice. They're pretty much the same, except training starts P1 at lower health. You don't even have options ingame. It's a pretty barebones experience.

Nope. Still not the Sailor Moon fighting game.

And I don't want to bandy around terms like "lazy", but the reusage of animation gets pretty bad. It's one thing that Hypers are often just flashier versions of special moves but  even the warning animations for hypers? Here's a note, geniuses:  characters in fighting games do special poses before hypers specifically so people know what is about to happen.

So what can I say? This game makes you work for the smut, but the engine is nice enough that it's not too much of a chore. Sure, if you  really must watch Japanese stereotypes rape each other, you don't need a videogame for it. And there's way better fighting to be found elsewhere. But If your curious and a pervert and a fighter fan, it's probably worth your time.

Continue