Fighting Female July: Strip Fighter IV is less bad than you'd think(but not morally)

Your name will be inscribed in the pages of fighting's nudie mag. 

..

Of all the franchises  that  could have come back to cash in on the return of Street Fighter a few years back, Strip Fighter is probably the least likely. An obscure PC Engine fighter from the olden days that featured an all girl cast with dignity baring special attacks, it's certainly less popular than Variable Geo and less recent than Battle Raper (oh, yes, that's a real thing.). But now 2010's Super Strip Fighter 4 joins those two in how far it is willing to take the whole "Porn fighter" thing.

Despite the title, Super Strip Fighter 4 is the second in a series. There's not even a vanilla Strip Fighter 4. I guess if your game has  female penile tentacled succubus as a final boss, you don't worry if people think you're trying to ride Capcom's coattails. The game actually is quite a bit above the  prequel in terms of both graphics and design, as you'd expect. Every character from the old game has been revamped, redesigned, or reworked. Notably, eagle hat enthusiast Bella has gone from this...

A woman in her Twilight years...

...to this...

"D"? She deserves at least a B in terms of "Offense".

And Clown Afro sporting Prowrestler Amanda's change was pretty big too.

The only fat woman in a fighting game ever and it ends up being porn... 

...Breasts, breasts, breasts, FIELD, Breasts...

The changes  a decade or two  can have, huh? The graphics, while featuring bland backgrounds and flashly looking sprites, are not bad at all to look at. And for a 2d game that has  the capacity to strip fighters of their clothing, the animation is fluid enough.

The cast is pretty big too. Highlights include "Snakes count as clothing, right?"-minded Medusa, civil clothed Ninja Sayaka and two male characters. For the ladies, I guess.

Most of the new characters seem way better designed than the old returning characters. I don't know, I think they went overboard trying to make the old cast sexier by making their breasts big.  That's just part of it, guys.

What the...this isn't Takein or King of Fuckers, guys. It's not even Cockcom vs SNGay. It's Strip Fighter.

The fighting concerns 3 buttons: light, medium and strong. You can fill up a hyper-bar and launch a super attack. You can also fill up the letters to strip by getting knocked down  or letting yourself open with a specific move. This is the only way to activate the Strip Hyper. This move, when it finishes off the opponent, leads to her clothes (if there where any in the first place.) to break apart and fall, and lets the girl at your mercy. That's when you can ravage  her.

Yes, there is rape in Strip Fighter 4.

Tonight: A very special surprise guest appearance by penis. 

By activating a particular combo or grab during  your opponent's clothesless misery, you can just get in there and have your way with them against their will. In the case of the final boss Succubus,  fat Japanese fanboy Jin, musclebound MMAer S  and token hermaphrodite Ai it's some kind of obvious penetration thing that lasts as long as you want to watch it. Other characters like SnM blond Nina, onion themed waitress Iku and super oily, supernaked Rana have dry humping hypers, specials and grabs that could be also construed as sexual harassment when used against females but when used against males become graphic(yet obnoxiously censored) sex And most of the old cast  hangs on to their nudifying special moves albeit in hyper form. One character's  Strip Hyper  seems to be having sex with the camera.  

 Yet, there are characters that have yet to show evidence of being able to initiate graphic scenes with either sex. I for one, believe this is total bullshit. All the males and phalus enabled women  can rape women, and some of the women can rape men. Why not the others?  Why not make them some of them rape the girls? That makes half the cast just rape victims, Not enough Lesbian Rape, man. What are you waiting for, the tournament edition?

I mean, I don't want to throw a bitch fit over this, but it's like having Mortal Kombat, and having half of the characters not have Fatalities. Why should I bother with Mari or Ran if they don't have the goods? What are they even here for? What, couldn't you come up  anything a girl can do to another girl? No scissoring? No ice dick for Yuki? No fingering? No prehensile hair penetration by Medusa? I accuse this porn game of being sexist!

You know, this mask isn't helping your dandruff problem at all. 

Since even if you wanted to, you can't play with anyone most of the time (on account of awful slowdown you get sometimes. Also, it's a porn game),  story mode is pretty much the only choice. Now, I don't know Japanese, so I guess the story is about how the evil Succubus has organized a tournament  between  girls so she can rape them. You have a an intro textwall for each character.You fight a handful of people, then face your rival. Succubus rapes your rival in a cutscene, and then you fight her. Text ending and credits.  All Japanese. Here, let me help.

My Japanese is a little spotty, though. Or as they say in Japan: "Kawasaki Ninja, Hey! El Mundo conquistaras!"

Except it's not over.  You get to fight everyone else on a harder difficulty, until you tire or beat them all.  Or beat it. I mean, no one wants to be defeated...

Besides Story you have VS mode and practice. They're pretty much the same, except training starts P1 at lower health. You don't even have options ingame. It's a pretty barebones experience.

Nope. Still not the Sailor Moon fighting game.

And I don't want to bandy around terms like "lazy", but the reusage of animation gets pretty bad. It's one thing that Hypers are often just flashier versions of special moves but  even the warning animations for hypers? Here's a note, geniuses:  characters in fighting games do special poses before hypers specifically so people know what is about to happen.

So what can I say? This game makes you work for the smut, but the engine is nice enough that it's not too much of a chore. Sure, if you  really must watch Japanese stereotypes rape each other, you don't need a videogame for it. And there's way better fighting to be found elsewhere. But If your curious and a pervert and a fighter fan, it's probably worth your time.

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Sex: Now that I have your attention: unconsensual

I'll wait until it's 25 dollars...

So...there has been a lot of talk about rape lately, with the New Tomb Raider's already removed sexual molestation scene. It's also appropriate for me to talk about it since the subject of rape is gonna be covered in Fighting Female July. Not the one you'd think, though.

Let's get the basics out of the way:

• Rape is a real thing that really happens.
• Rape is, by definition, unjustifiable.
• Rape is a serious matter.
• Rape is not something you want happen to anyone, but especially not to the more vulnerable members of our society (women, children, old folk) who tend to be the ones most likely to be raped.

Now, as a blogger, I was surprised at how much rape figures in entertainment once you start writting about it(entertainment, that, is.). But at the same time, are characters like Superman not merely modernized, toned down versions of characters like Heracles, who at one point raped and killed a whole society of warrior women? As time went on, people grew more concious that a guy who had his way with a lady in fiction is not too different from a guy who has his way with one's sister.

So rape became the domain of the bad guys. I mean, sure, that makes sense. But then, it became too ugly to even talk about rape negatively. Today, rape is as all encompassing as to include unrequied kisses and sexual relationships with drunk people.

But as a side current, there was merely escalation on the attempts at titillate. Mainstream entertainment, and especially videogames and animationa nd comics, have been trying more aand more to be more sofisticated, and somehow at the same time, have smalller bikinis and loincloths. Lara Crof, in particular, could not have started as a more obvious attempt at manipulating the male hormones to gain audience.

The costume to the right is described as MASSIVE ARMOR. This is our standard.

It was inevitable that these three conflicting ideologies, that of titillation, the concepts of rape in pop culture, and attempted softening of the more over the top elements of videogame culture would collide. To some people we're becoming more liberal and squemish, and to others we're becoming a stern amish society, when the truth is BOTH ARE SOMEHOW TRUE.

So, really, it was innevitable that someday, someone was going to try and rape Lara Croft. Two off the 3 explained mindsets supported it. I know it's easy to go with the outraged response. "This flesh peddlers are trying to sell rape as a way to tittillate. This is not acceptable." But isn't it?

When scavengers in the respective Resident Evil and Terminator apocalypses tried to rape their lead women, was it acceptable because you knew it wasn't going to happen? Is it acceptable in Boys Don't Cry because it really  happend, and if it really happened it isn't being exploited? When is it acceptable? Is God of War's offscreen sexing of concubines acceptable, because they never point out that concubines don't have much of a choice in anything? Is rape just to be left entirely out of interactive media, or just the adventure type games? If they make a Boys Don't Cry game, or GI Jane or  League of Extraordinary Gentlemen game is it okay if it has rape because the source had it? Does it have to be tastefull, and how do you measure what is or isn't tastefull?  I do not ask this questions because I want an answer: It's because if there is a  personal limit, then it needs to be clear each of us what it its. YOU need to answer to yourself this questions before reacting to things like this.



Look, I'll just make the horrendous, insensible jokes, and you fill in the rest, okay?

I'm telling you, in my country, there is a law against the distribution or having of "obscene  material" . And when you go in on what that actually means, it just goes with a really vague "whatever is too offensive to the mayority of peoples.  Now I've been to Hentai Foundry, so I know we might have differing opinions on what we want "My Small Horsies" characters to see doing to each other. But the point is, this kind of thing was bound to happen sooner or later. 10 years ago it was how much naked our BMX Strippers could be, and today is how much rape can we allow on our adventure games. This things don't just spring overnight, guys.

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Scolding Reviews: Generation X

Stay on top, or remain from the underground...

Where a bit spoiled for choice, now, aren't we? I mean, us nerds. Used to be a time when no one thought X-Men franchise was going to exist in live action. That is, until the first X-Men movie: 1996 TV movie pilot Generation X. Finally, we could overlook and ignore the idea for 4 more years!

This weird, forgotten little nugget starts with a dictionary description of what mutation is, as well as the illegal status of having the X-Gene. You're not gonna get no Senate hearings, here, no siree. Just pure mutant hunting! Sentinels, Soldiers...

Just kidding.  What did you think? It's straight to T.V.!

Then we see a scientist called Russel preparing to open up someone crab-handed mutant's cranium. Luckily for the would be lobotomy victim, a lady bursts in the room and starts freeing him. Turns out the thing wasn't quite legal. However, neither was the guy, as he's quickly taken away by the Anti-Mutant squad. Russel is fired, which pisses the lady off because she expects her boss to do some additional course of action that is never explained. In fact, she gets so angry, she uses her mutant powers to create a small storm inside the building. Boy, did you just make Storm white?

Yorrr NEKST!

No, actually she's Emma Frost.  She walks out of the scene despite using her non canon weather powers in the open, where the Mutant Hunting Squad mustn't have even gotten to the elevator. Russel is furious, and we know, because there's a cartoon circle fadeout!

Not so merry melodies...

Then we cut to the tearfull goodbye of a Hispanic family to Hector, a young man headed for Xavier Academy. It's not too bad a scene, that is, until one of his sisters gets a little to attached to him, and as the car keeps moving she holds on to his hand, which stretches. This seems to really hurt him. I guess this was supposed to be both a tender moment and a showing of Hector's powers. Instead, it makes the sister seem psycho.

But evil is afoot, as Russel has been busy putting Subliminal messages on Virtua Fighter arcades ordering kids to "PLEY MOAR", which might seem unnecessary with people involved already ENGAGING IN USE OF THE PRODUCT, but a quick glance at the screen reveals Jubilee is often just hitting the sticks on Demo Mode.


Oh, yeah, Jubilee's in this movie. Only she's not half Chinese, half 90s slang anymore. Before you start another  "Racebending" type site, she was originally slated to be either Boomer, or Dazzler, but  since Jubilee was popular in the cartoon they put her in, changing the character's role. That's right, this 3 where actually considered interchangeable as starter X-Men  characters!

The trial ends in 15 days.

Jubilee's powers are soon made to go haywire by Russel's subliminal messages, making those sparks that she's known for.  As such, the Gestapo IMMEDIATELY show up to send her to "mutant camp".  However, she's picked up by Banshee and Emma Frost, the later of which uses a neat Jedi trick to break her out of detention.

As soon as they are out of the building, Jubilee starts trying to wriggle away from the two, without even  trying to wonder what they want with her. I can see her getting a block away from the Mutant Detention Center, then getting caught right the fuck up again.

Ah, the silliness of X-Men shining through. Where concentration camps exist in a world where you can't say faggot on T.V. Will Smith can't talk about Hitler without getting in trouble, but human beings with literally no rights can just be hoarded of to some non-descript place because they have the X-Gene. I'm just saying, you'd probably have some of them Civil Rights organizations on the  side of mutants.

So she agrees to go with Good Cop and Bad Accent Cop and they tell her, in those exact words, that she's being trained to be a superhero. See, in the X-Men movie series they never used the term because the X-Men are technically meant to be a force for mutant issues. That they fight people that have nothing to do with that like Arcade or the Brood has nothing to do with it. But here, they are straight telling her she's gonna fight crime, even thought Mutant Genocide is well implied. They probably knew Magneto was only gonna show every once in 3 months and the rest of the time was gonna be spent between mourning Phoenix, fighting  Phoenix and trips to the Savage Land.

Speaking of shit that doesn't have anything to do with the Mutant Struggle, Russel is speaking with his exec partner about how excited he is that he found a level 3 mutant brain because this furthers his goals by allowing him to access the dream dimension. See, dreams occur in another dimension, even the weird ones where you cut your brother's thumb off in the Halo universe, and  Russel asks his friend to "imagine the commercial possibilities for a free market omnipotent being." No, don't ask me. I didn't write it.

More importantly, Russel begins down the path to the character he really wants to be.

Yes, he's the Riddler from Batman Forever. The mind devices, the weird overacting, the sudden impersonations. The actor clearly researched that before doing this one. The only thing he's missing is a crush on Val Kilmer.

So, Hector and Jubilee arrive in Xavier's School for gifted youngsters(Charles Xavier not included). It's the same building  as in the future movies, too. However, there are not a lot of open shots of it. Either way, Jubilee has to get naked for some test thing, and since Xavier's institute likes being sued, no one has to leave or anything. The scene is pretty much an excuse for us to see Jubilee's naked back. Hey, she's 19, I checked!

Then it's time for Jubs and Hector to meet their fellow students. There's Black Jock, who can absorb properties of things. Blond Jock, who has both X-Ray vision and eye-lasers(YES!). There's Insecure Girl, who doesn't want people to see she's Superstrong because she has supermanly muscles. And there's Bitch Mutant, who cites herself as being "perfect" and having "level 8 invincibility". Wowee, I never knew invincibility was so nuanced.

3 out of this for foursome act with ridiculous, unjustified hostility toward the newcomers.  Without any reason they verbally and physically harass them, despite the fact they have no reason to. That's what teenagers are like, right? Especially teenagers who have had to live in exile and be separated from their loved ones? They're instajerks, right?

So, the kids eventually play some Football, which ends into a sort of friendly pileup. But Banshee can't have that in his school, so he uses his mutant powers to break it up. It's a nice use of his powers, but we could make it better.

So after some more jerking around, Banshee and Emma Furostu show up again to show the kids Cerebro(A room full of monitors. Hey, what was you expecting?) and teach them psychic powers. Yes, they all learn psychic powers.  That's how mutants work in  Generation X. Like in Fable.

Also, we see a small hint at the hatred this kids go through, as in the lounge room, the TV shows an interview with a pundit comparing the X-Gene to Aids. Naturally, Blond Jock destroys the television, which is met with approval by the kids. Why where they even watching that in the first place? And won't they want to watch something else in the future?

So the Excec and Dr Russel have different variations of the same conversation ("Don't fuck it up!" "I'm so weird! I will fuck it up!") which is pretty fillery, but since the actor who plays Russel gets the weridest lines in the world, and turns the camp up to eleven, it's tolerable.

Eventually, the X-kids convince Banshee to let them drive into town. Yes, a jeep full of impulsive teens with aggressive tendencies and superpowers, with no supervision. You know, parents trust the Xavier Institute with this kid's lives. And even though a trip to the town could land them in Gitmo, they STILL let them. Damn.

Also, leave your 90210 jokes at home. They brought their own.

Eventually Hector runs into some lighthearted bullies who  shove his face in Ice cream for liking the girl of the group.  This of course, causes indignation in Hector's current bullies from the Institute. No, I see what you did there, movie. I guess the bullies have their own bullies, too, right?

Tired of it all, Hector uses his hacking skills to  access a restricted room in the school in which Emma Frost's dream traveling machine resides.

Also, it tones your abs.

But he's not the only one with big dreams, as Russel the next day demonstrates his own dream-ey access-ey machine to a boardroom of investors. They're skeptical, so he tells them he implanted in their mind, through dreams a trigger to fart at a particular hour. This, rather than convincing them to invest in a machine, makes them decide to turn him in to the authorities. I guess the same world where a gene can be considered illegal already has legal provisions against mental takeover, huh?

So Russel kills the Exec by throwing him off a bulding. Yes. Just like the Riddler.

Flying menace!

So, Jubilee and Hector try the machine. She enters first, but Russel is also there, and he creeps her out with his weirdness and his harassy nature. She comes out of the machine crying and saying it was terrible. Hector, seeing this JUMPS INTO THE MACHINE. Yeah, not a smart one, that Hector. But  he travels into the dreams of his dreamgirl, which involve her combing her hair, in her room. Wow, what an airhead. Anyway, Russel also shows up and promises to help Hector with his dream-girl troubles.

But then the cops IRL disconnect him from his machine, which leaves his mind stranded in the dreamstate. This seems painfull, then he seems to enjoy it. The scene kinda just ends.

The next night, the kids are allowed into a carnival. You know...I'm kinda seeing the mutant registration  side of things. How am I supposed to enjoy a good  carnival worrying about some unsupervised teens who can kill me without even trying? Bitch mutant shows off, Blond Jock and Insecure Girl make out in the car, and Hector meets his girl outside the Matrix. Then her bully friends show up and try to harass him again, which starts a fight with the Xavier kids. This gets them in trouble with Emma Frost, who could ascertain that it wasn't their fault if she only read their mind. I guess she isn't a telepath anymore?

Wigs where part of this franchise from the start.

Hector sneaks into the Fantasy Zone once more, and executes a terrible dance sequence with the girl, when shock of shocks, Russel appears again. He begs for Hector to free his body from the mental hospital it's trapped in so he can enter his mind again. He doesn't want to, and that's when shit gets creepy.

Russel threatens that he will...and he uses the exact words "mind-rape"  his girl if he doesn't complain. As an added creepy bonus, he brings up his little sister from earlier(I guess her mind), licks her face, and threatens to rape her mind as well. Wow that's another one for the rape tag.

I don't seek these out. I swear I don't. They come to me!

Hector becomes involved and frees Russel's body and mind(eww). But Russel pays him by kidnapping him for purposes of cutting off his brain. I thought he wanted Jubilee. But I forgot: Nobody wants Jubilee.

Everybody hates you.

Hector uses his...psychic powers...to contact Jubilee and ask for help, which brings but to the film's climax as all the X-Kids, Banshee and Emma Frost head out to fight one middle aged guy with no powers. Needless to say it's pretty one sided. The guy gets zapped, punched, fireworked. But after he's blasted through a wall, he comes back and he's all powerful and behind the wall was the Dream Dimension. I did not understand this.

So Frost offers to stay and go down with Russel, but  Hector instead wraps around him and throws both him and the villain down the eternal hole of the dreamstate. It seems both are gone, but Hector comes back using his stretchy powers.

Winding down, we see that the kids are gonna get uniforms. Here's why we can't have source accurate X-suits, kids.

And yet Emma Frost never uses lingerie as her primary wear.

This movie is...a T.V. movie about X-Men, made in the 90s. It's exactly what you'd imagine by that. The action is pretty bad, and the acting isn't great. A lot of this stuff just can't be realized on a low budget.  The characters aren't really that likeable, though the villain is pretty fun, before he becomes too creepy. I suggest if you like obscure films like those Captain America movies or that terrible Fantastic Four 1994 movie,  or if you need to see every superhero movie out there, give this a chance. If you are lactose intolerant, stay away, 'cause this shit is cheesy.

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M.U.G.E.N. vol 2 Colony Page 13

Late adopter over here!

The Super Agents Sugar Ant and Fire Ant are back for another round!

In this page, red tape attacks!

Damn Backgrounds!

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Scolding Reviews: Immortal

Undying haet is what I have.

Expectations are  fairly important in the entertainment business. If your set up a marketing campaign for a movie that makes it look like a  European matrix knockoff because it's 2004, sure, you'll fool a couple of people. But when they hear what it's really about or like, you'll lose them completely. Be hones. Say it's about mutants and aliens and Egyptian gods and rape.  There's an audience.

This movie...God, this movie! I mean, maybe I should have looked up something about it before hitting play.

The movie starts with a message that Eugenics is wrong, as quoted by something called the "Spirit of Nikopol". Ok. I mean, yeah, fuck Eugenics, but why not use the movie to tell it?

We then see a flying truck full of weird people being taken in a space transport, including our protagonist, a woman who let the dandruff take over. I mean, I'm not exactly healthy hair person, but damn.

Our Heroine, called Jill tries to escape, but is quickly subdued, and we see her transport  is an eugenics transport! We know because it says Eugenics outside.

Also, she's Keanu Reeves in drag.

Seriously,  where's the subtlety? The Death Star didn't have "Evil Empire" written outside it. I guess this "Eugenics" people have a total monopoly on it, huh?

And then another movie starts, as a voice narrates something about Egyptian Gods who don't want to miss out on the earth in their alotted time and that they're scared of dying.

Some ugly ass computer models of Anubis, Bast and Horus show up. The look like CG to PS2 cinematics. They talk about something in Egiptian and then Horus phases through a wall. Does this have anything to do with Eugenics? Either way, I hope this movie doesn't heavilly rely on computer models...

2 futurecopters  approach Anubis as he's almost out off his flying pyramid, but he destroys them, clearly setting him up as the villain of the movie.

So our heroine is getting her tears harvested, when she catches the eye of a Scientist woman, who is talking to...some CG dude. Why is he CGI? He's a dude with bad skin. He looks so fake, especially when he's right aside an actual human being!

Visit Uncanny Valley today!

So the Dr takes her in. Then we follow a fully covered guy as he walks into a bar full of weirdos. Uh...cue the music? There is also fully CG news with CG talking heads. It's the future, baby.

Then it becomes entirely CG, as we see a fat politician, and his sexy Asian aide talking. What's going on? Did I accidentally put True Crime on? Do we need CG to make Asians and Fat white guys?

Either way, they say they cant' trust a cop to solve a case, though the Asian woman insists that since the cop had his face chewed off by the Die-ack, all he does its track down this type of case. It seems to have nothing to do with Horus or Dandruff girl. Which means we have 4 stories now and none of them are well developed.

It's not this guy, but close!

However, stories do collide as the CG cop, whose facial repair is more ugly than what we can do TODAY, is investigating a series of strange deaths, that are nothing more than Horus possessing people and their bodies not being able to handle it. The consider it could be a Die-Ack(you'll see), but no, those are extinct. Meanwhile Bast and Anubis play Monopoly. What the fuck?

My sisters doesn't want me to do the "what's wrong with your face?" joke. But I totally would!

The Dr tries to help her remember her dark  mysterious past she can't remember, as well as find out why her organs are not where they should be. well, no duh, she's friends with Ultraman. After that she meets with the mysterious stranger from earlier, and tells her she just found out her organs aren't in the right place. The shady man scoffs and says "According to whose criteria?" Well, no duh, according to the smart lady in the white coat. She is smart.The stranger, called, John, reveals he's dying, and wants to help her before the planet does him in. This guys might be aliens or some shit.


Then a couple suspended animation tanks fall from their flying tank fortress. Cops try and investigate, but the Eugenics people arrive in their eugenics ice cream truck and start killing them. It's the perfect crime... you know, except that they did it during the daytime in their fully labeled truck.

Mommy! Buy me eugenics!

They take away most of the bodies before the cop guy gets there, and he only find a leg of another one. This last one is spirited away to some train tracks by Horus who starts creeping him out with his Nasonex Bee impersonation. Seriously, they're talking body possession, but Horus is totally making this gay. Which wouldn't be so bad if at least it was consensual. This...will become a trend later.

So Anubis fixes the guy and makes him a leg out of a piece of train track, which is...ridiculously functional. Still, who am I to question what Horus can or can't do? Horus can totally crash on this guy's body because he's not genetically manipulated. Take THAT Eugenics!

Meanwhile in videoland, the politician now has some type of clown make up, and is discovering the missing man is Nikopol, who was aparently sent to jail a bunch of years ago for not liking eugenics enough. His words are spread throughout the movie. But if you think the widespread of Eugenics and his own anti-eugenics militancy will play any part of this movie, then I'm sorry to disappoint. He's here to be bossed around by Horus into doing things.

Four more Years.

Meanwhile, Our heroine is doing her job as a guinea pig(Their term, not mine), which involves eating a bunch of weird food. I don't see how testing things on someone with abnormal physiology amounts to anything. But, whatever.

 Senator Clownface is concerned Nikopol knows too much about his father's involvement with Eugenics and his illegal experiments. Er...doesn't the Eugenics  transport say "Eugenics" outside of it?  IS there such things as illegal eugenics? He says Nikopol wasn't executed because that would have made him a martyr.  So NOW they're gonna kill him, by  sending after him a shark dude of sorts.

DJ Pimpshark in the Hooouuse!

Meanwhile, Nikopol is convinced by Horus to search our Lead Female on the weirdo bar. However, our girl is exchanging flirty banter with her Dr that will go nowhere.

Damn.

Eventually, she makes her way into the bar. Nikopol is like "she hot, yo!" and Horus is like "'Course she hot! She the chosen one!" But who says the chosen one has to adhere to our standards of beauty? Especially since later we will see what she's chosen for is reproduction. She could be an elephant seal as long as she's got her ovaries in the right place. Which I'm guessing she doesn't because she's a freak.

At any rate, Nikopol tries and fails to hit on Jill, and he also tries and fails to get her drunk.  It is then than Horus take over Nikopol completely and uses a Jedi Mind trick to convince her she is going to go with him and that they are, in fact, gonna fuck.

Now, you might try and make some kind of Whoopi Goldberg defense as to whether  using mind control to have sex with people is rape.  But once they get on the bed, it becomes all to actual, "trying to escape but being physically restrained" rape.

I don't know what one says.

After some stupid hijinx(which, I say, are great for breaking up the tension of the rape) she finds Nikopol and starts asking him what happened. He mentions they had sexual intercourse, which she asks what means.

Eventually he tries to tell her what really happened, but Horus pulls him back so she gives up and goes away.

Meanwhile Shark face has killed  a detective that was looking into Nikopol and/or Jill, and the detective(the one with the scarred face) is looking at the body in the morgue, his assistant thinks it could be a Die-ack, but our officer says it was a humanized Die-Ack, because they found red epidermis on the scene, signed "eugenics".

Whaaaaaat? NOTHING ripped his skin. He was just sitting in the car! He was just sitting in the car calmly killing a guy. And why the hell would they sign the skin of their illegal experiment?  Fuckin' EUGENICS!

The Hangover  series will be weirder...

Nikopol is debating how much he disliked the "rape" part of the rape that happened, when Horus reminds him that without him, there will be no walking, as his ridiculous metal leg can't be moved without Horus allowing it. Am I the only on who thinks he should take the heroic route and cut it off, or what?

Jill talks to Dr Lesbian about what happened, but she has a little trouble because she doesn't know what "relations" or "penis" are.

Now, pause. Horus is kind of a God, and he probably knows this girl doesn't know shit about sex. So why not just ASK her to help him procreate. Why the rape?

She gets caught on the streets by the Eugenics truck and the Shark guy, but Horus kills them all and "saves" her. You know what I'm talking about, right?

He takes her to Nikopol's hideout, erases her memories and, just to be on the safe side, rapes her again.

Again, if you just told her your an eons old god trying to have kids, you might already have this well and done.

She wakes up outside of "Intrusion Zone" a walled of zone that has been mentioned several times but never actually explained. Meanwhile, Horus, now sounding less like Antonio Banderas and more like Phil Lamarr faces the impotent rage of Nikopol, who pummels his badly rendered CG body to no effect.

The Senator, becoming increasingly desperate, release a Die-Ack, which is essentially a shark that can do anything, to hunt down Jill. Or Nikopol. I am not sure.

He can even imitate dead comedians!

Nikopol meets Jill again, as she's lying in a bathtub filled with her blue tears(!). Apparently at some point, he sort of explained to her that is wasn't HIM doing all the rape. After exchanging flirty banter like "I should have shot you the first time we met" and "is he gone, the rapist inside you?" they have sex.  It's technically consensual, but since the one guy she didn't want ended up being there all along, It's still disturbing.

As the shark approaches through the waterways, we see Kakutou Choujin-politician and his assistant discussing how  she wants him to negotiate with the pyramid. and how she works for eugenics. Wait, I though HE was with them.The shark dude wass in the Eugenics ship...and he sent the shark dude... In either case, she says that they're both pawns, but she's a superior pawn, in a clear misunderstanding of how pawns actually work.

After some more disturbing talk about rape and sex, John crashes through the window on his future-car, and takes Nikopol away from the Super-Shark.  All points start converging as Dr Lesbian and Detective Stupid-face also arrive on the scene  and join a bloated final chase sequence that lands Jill, John and Nikopol right in the middle of Intrusion.

The senator is sucked into the pyramid and promptly also dropped into intrusion like a bag of badly rendered potatoes while John Offers Jill a Red Pill that will finally make her human. It is implied this will also make her forget everything. He dies a Star Wars death. The Super Shark appears, and is defeated in a tension-less battle by Horus.

It's the most...Extreme!

All points resolved, Horus says goodbye to Nikopol by telling him there "would always be a little bit of me inside of you" and by telling Jill he "Will never be farr from you...ever agen!" while going for a touch. How creepy can one guy get?

So Jill forgets everything and Nikopol goes on to take another year in frozen jail. After that, Nikopol apparently became a published author, which I guess is an achievement while being frozen. He asks Dr Lesbian about Jill. Eventually they meet, he get's to know their freaky spawn that can control small blue eagle, and she's conveniently forgotten all about the rape. And everyone lives happily ever after.

You may have noticed this is  a longer review than usual. See, when I first saw this, all the mish-mash of plot elements, scifi and magic, trade between Shitty CGI people and live action was too much for me. I had to rewatch again as I typed because no way I  was gonna piece it all together.

And maybe this movie has a message or central idea of some sort. Maybe I can't see it through the pretentious dialogue and weird ass bullshit. Maybe Nikopol learned that Eugenics aren't so bad when Egyptian idols force it. Maybe Jill learned to Forget about it. I can't find any of that.

My theory for the CGI is that they tried to describe that in this movie, A god forced a man to rape a woman twice, and no one was onboard, so they grabbed a couple of fellow pretentious friends and shot everyone else in CGI.

There's very little actions, the characters aren't likeable and while there are some nice effects, it's always undermined by the CG humans or the poor editig of the thing. So, don't be a fool, like me. You do NOT need to see this.

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