The Best Geek Ever!: superman

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Let's talk about Wonder Woman's body as if it mattered

Posted on 4:34 PM by Batzarro

"I wish Hollywood had some tricks to make people look not-as-they-are..."

Wonder Woman is one of the earliest female superheroes, and probably the one most people care about anyway. So going into Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice, which had her first appearance in live action in decades must be pretty exciting for fans, right?

This is just as pointless as #bringbackourgirls, except Zack Snyder might actually bring them back.

Oh, you wanna talk about Wonder Woman's body in what's likely to ammount to a cameo in Batman's movie? Fine. I like Wondy's body too.

There's 3 prevailing schools of thought on Wonder Woman's body: Jezebeline, Maximist, and Curvilinears. And none of the people who profess these styles actually acknoweledge their titles, because I just made them up.

The Jezebelineans would love for Wonder Woman to not-give girls bad body image. If Diana looks like a model they'll probably complain, even if 90 percent of all female actresses are like that anyway. DC comic heroes are easy to make a stand on while Black Widow rolls around in her skintight jumpsuit, totally not getting a movie.

For them, there is a Wonder Woman.

For the record I like her movies. She's no Camryn Manheim, though.

They'd probably say I'm exaggerating. I am. But if you're gonna cast Wonder Woman exclusively for the Jezebelian crowd, without any accounting for anything else, this is your stop.

Maximists take this ficticional amazon's ficticional history seriously. "She's an AMAZON! She should have oak stumps for legs and abs that can take a tomahawk missile!"

For them,there is a Wonder Woman.

Don't know.

I mean, Superman and Batman are ripped. Why can't Wonder Woman be super ripped? Huh? Why is it? Is it because that's not nearly the most important thing when it comes to bringing this character to life? Huh? Is it?

The Curvilinears just want to see an accurate depiction of Wonder Woman's breasts. The character's long history has seen many changes in tone and style, but NEVER have her breasts been what we'd consider "small". They plan to be starring at that cleavage for a good amount of time, and they want to make good on that investment. For them, there is a Wonder Woman as well.

Va va va boom!

I guess that makes me a Curvilinear as well. huh.

But in the end the people at WB chose this chick.

Those are some nice headlights.

There's bound to be a bunch of reasons why she got cast. How much money she could bring to the movie chief among them. She's not the ideal actress for Wonder Woman we all picture in our head, but that just us. Some of us thought Thomas Jane would make an excellent Shadow the Hedgehog, and some of us thought HHH would make a fine Thor, and some of us thought Heath Ledger would ruin the Joker forever. In the end we're proven wrong, we like the actor and we move on.

Or the Sonic movie never happens and we start to hate on Jane over The Mist. Goddamit!

In either case, here's some of the questions you should be asking instead: How much screen-time will Wonder Woman actually have? What exactly will be her role in a movie titled Batman v Superman? Will she actually show in costume in the film? Will she use her magic lasso? Her invisible plane? Will we see Themyscira? Will Themyscira be actually a river near Turkey, like in real life? Why is there not a sequel to the wonderful animated Wonder Woman movie? Why is there no Wonder Woman movie period, and instead we have to settle for her playing a support role to Batman and Superman? Just asking, man.

Continue

Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Big "When does this go Public Domain?" Post

Posted on 9:55 AM by Batzarro

Mr Burns and Smithers representing the current way copyright and authors are related.

Copyright; a temporary exclusivity on the distribution and reproduction of a work. A privilege, meant to aid authors and owners be more confident that their works will grant them income during their lifetimes. Maybe when it was instituted at a constitutional level they weren't thinking of sending kids to jail for having Niki Minaj mp3s or stopping churches from unauthorizedly showing The Messenger without permission from a company, or keep kids from singing High School Musical songs on they're own high schools, but what are you going to do?

If this makes me a copyright breaker, then I don't want to be nothing else.

After works stop belonging to Warner or whatever, they enter the public domain, a healthy 95 years after their initial publishing. I...think it should be a little less. If you agree, well, go ahead and sign my petition. Meanwhile, we must continue to live in the world where it takes nearly 100 years for works to become public domain. Why don't we check out when some of todays most influential works will enter public domain, according to today's law?

Now, here's my fair warning: unless I say so, this only accounts for the first appearance of the thing. For example, if I say Men in Black, all that enters PD is the initial movie. It'll take 5 years after that for MIB II, and ten years after that for MIB III. So if you use any elements from MIB III, say, the film's villain Boris, or the idea that Kay met Jay as a kid, in the date I give you, you're gonna get sued. I'm only giving you the date for Men in Black 1. Mind you, there's also a MIB cartoon, derived from the movies, and an MIB Malibu comics, which are now owned by Marvel, which inspired the movies. I can't cover every little thing.

You can do better than this.

Because of this, I invented the Public Domain calculator. You just choose the year of publication, and it automatically shows you when the stuff will go public domain in the states. Want to know when you can use Batarangs, Buffy's sister Dawn, or That Old Strategy RPG Only YOU Remember? Well, give it a whirl. You can even see when it would have gone had the law not been changed, if you like indignation as much as I do.

Everyone else, here's a breakdown on when the most popular things today* go PD. Read it and weep.

Movies:

Movies. It takes a combination of actors, directors, and a bunch of something called "grips" to make a movie. Unlike a book, or a baby, you generally can't just make a movie between two to three people. Which is why most movies, most of the ones we all know and love are owned by corporations. Here's when they won't be.

Alien

2075

Robocop

2080

Terminator 2079 (This is just the first movie. No T1000 yet.)

Predator

2080

Pirates of the Caribean

2098

Star Wars

2070 (Just the first movie. No Bobba Fett yet or Emperor yet. On the other hand you can totally come up with your own Prequels at this point. You just can't put Jar Jar Binks in them. {:.(.. )

E.T.

2080

Scarface

2081

(This is just for the quotable Scarface remake starring Al Pacino we all know. The Original Scarface should have lapsed in 2027, You can make another Cut-in-the-face-criminal-who-rises-to-the-top-and-then-has-a-huge-downfall movie after 2027. Or, you know, now, and just don't call it Scarface.)

Planet of the Apes

2063

Buffy

2087 (This is just the first movie. The TV show, it's original characters and premises, will not lapse yet. )

James Bond (The first movie) 2048

Superheroes:

Ok, there's plenty of public domain superheroes, awight? You could already be working on that. If you must wait, here's when some of the really popular ones will become as free as the air to use.

Batman

2034

(He doesn't have his Batmobile, sidekicks, or code against killing by this point. Below are dates for further Batman elements)

Joker 2035

Robin 2035

Catwoman 2035

Superman

2028 (He doesn't have his final symbol, abilities like flight or heat vision, sidekicks, pets or most of his rogues cast.)

Wonder Woman

2038

Spider-Man

2057

Hulk

2057

Ironman

2058 He doesn't have the red and yellow yet.

X-Men

2055 The team is comprised of Angel, Marvel Girl, Cyclops, Beast and Iceman. Adding Jubilee gets you sued.)

>Wolverine 2069

Fantastic Four

2056

Dr Doom 2057

Ninja Turtles

2079 (This is just the original comics. Does not cover future cartoons, movies, books etc.)

Dick Tracy

2026

Books

Did you know that Chronicles of Narnia is already public domain in Canada, and that War of the Worlds is public domain in America, yet still locked up in England? Books are the original IP, and here's when some of the ones you like might become Public Domain.

Lord of the Rings

2050

Starship Troopers

2053

I Robot

2054

Space Odyssey

2063

Who goes there? BKA The Thing

2077

Psycho

2053

Carrie

2069

I Am Legend

2050

Cartoons/Animation

Who doesn't love a good cartoon? I know I do, anyway. Animation is, naturally, one of those things that's becoming "Democratized" by cheap and free and easy new tools, and one day it'll be easier than ever for you to make your own version of...

Looney Tunes

2063 (Check for particular character origins. I'm tired)

Mickey Mouse

2023

Betty Boop

2021( Or...maybe now?)

Inspector Gadget

2078

Dragonball

2090( Check for particular character's first appearance)

Sailor Moon

2087

Flinstones

2055

Videogames

Yeah, we're not getting any public domain videogames within our lifetimes, thanks to those ridiculous alterations made to the duration of copyright. It's sad, really. What's fun is, once, since rules and procedures can't be copyrighted, you'll get to make as much legitimate Sonic as you like once he does go public domain.

Mario