The past is stupid: Outrun 2019

Hello, futurenauts! This post was written in 2012, but is schedjuled to debut in 2019, as a reminder of what we set out  we, as a species, thought you had in store for us. After all, the future is uncertain. Here in 2012 we refer to an ancient calendar as a sign of endtimes. But if you are reading this, this means we're stupid to do so.

What did we expect from 2019, the year you are in? Well according to 1993's Outrun 2019 you are big into racing, but the kind of racing where it's more like a timed course on light traffic.

We have an inkling you enjoy painting large skull decals into your cars back windows. Is this true? That doesn't seem very futuristic.

However, the game does say you'll have super speedboosting turbines on at least the higher end models of your cars. perhaps this are so rare, you decided not to use them to race directly against other cars?

Are you impressed at our pastly prophetic capacities? Chime in!

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Mind over creative matter

A few weeks ago, it was announced that a plane simulator had been flown outstandingly by non-pilots using a helmet that directly obeyed their mental commands. "That certainly seems like it could change aeronautics..." I thought. "...but how does that make my dreams come true?"

I wasn't thinking about dreams of a future utopia or equality or anything like that. I meant the weird mental mini-movies that play when you're asleep. For the longest time I've wanted a device that can record what my brain does in it's off hours, so that I can show everyone my dream where Marty McFly is a lady in a blue jumpsuit who Kristen Keruk tries to bribe with  some futas. Well, maybe not that one. That one's for me.

You're not a sex object in my dreams, be-be!

The point being, the technology is still not there to put what we see in our minds into reality. However, there is another use I see for this.

You see, that simulator the pilots flew was made with lots of typing of code, and moving of mouse, to generate what looks  like a plane flying over what looks like a ground. But what if it wasn't? What if, you just put on your little helmet, and go thinking of how you want that plane to look. You go thinking how you want the plane to react. And it just goes arming the program as it goes.

"All you guys, you're fired! We're cutting down the staff to one guy!"

Computer modeling is an art, but if we could remove the required hand coordination, to make a character you'd just sit there squinitnng until the monster you want pops up onscreen. You just squint some more to create a synth voice that sounds like Idris Elba. You animate the movie with your mind, and then as you watch it, you think of the music it should have as  an FL studio ish program creates the music you want the movie to have. With enought Squinting you could totally make your Pacific Rim fanmovie. 

"Da! It feel so good to be alive! We where lucky to eject in time!"

To say nothing of controls for the games themselves. Direct control over your character's exact movements!  Comfort your wounded dog!  Chokeslam your enemies! Slap  every tit in Morrowind!

I feel like Mike Teevee in that Wily Wonka remake. Good, you can fly planes real easy, even though it's hard. However, somewhere along the way of making that easier, these guys seem to have stumbled into a way to make EVERYTHING TO DO WITH COMPUTERS EASIER. Put me down for 20 of those with a USB cable. I have stories about Violet and Merida to tell.

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