The past is stupid: Outrun 2019

Hello, futurenauts! This post was written in 2012, but is schedjuled to debut in 2019, as a reminder of what we set out  we, as a species, thought you had in store for us. After all, the future is uncertain. Here in 2012 we refer to an ancient calendar as a sign of endtimes. But if you are reading this, this means we're stupid to do so.

What did we expect from 2019, the year you are in? Well according to 1993's Outrun 2019 you are big into racing, but the kind of racing where it's more like a timed course on light traffic.

We have an inkling you enjoy painting large skull decals into your cars back windows. Is this true? That doesn't seem very futuristic.

However, the game does say you'll have super speedboosting turbines on at least the higher end models of your cars. perhaps this are so rare, you decided not to use them to race directly against other cars?

Are you impressed at our pastly prophetic capacities? Chime in!

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Bloody Mario! 5 realities of Mario going public domain

Mario, about to kick a fire

The time of my public domain themed gamejam is ever aproaching. As such, it's time to think about our futures again.

Mario goes into the Public Domain, according to my expert calculations, in 2078 And, much like with Batman, it is something we are utterly unprepared for.  Many people don't understand the temporary nature of copyright, which is understandable, because a few people are up there, mucking up the works.

Let's get into a serious discussion of what could happens to gaming's most popular character in 2078

5) Not much

Princess Who?

If you think Mario's gonna be just as popular in 50 years as it was 30/20 years ago, you don't understand how pop culture works. What are the tv shows that where popular in 1985? Look upon those works, ye mighty, and despair.

Don't ask me, I was 2 years old.

By the time Mario gets around to being public domain, Mario might very well be more obscures than even the Golden Girls. Who knows what will happen to Nintendo  between here and there?

4) We can finally get that Mario movie done right

Mario should never have been bald, you cretins!

But for those of us already reaching the Godly Age Limit,  we'll be able to right the wrongs of our fathers, in making a Mario Movie that doesn't suck-a-balls-ah.

I mean, some people like Super Mario Brothers: The Movie.  But the general consensus is that it's hot garbage and should have been good. 

17 years old Max Landis(of Chronicle fame) wrote an enormous, mammoth script for a Super Mario movie.  I'm sure we've all dreamed of adapting our childhood heroes for a modern age. It's probably too much to expect Max Landis to reach 2078 alive and lucid enough to get this script to filming with enough budget to get it to make sense. But those are the breaks. Somebody else, surely will, and hopefully they will.

3) More LEGAL Mario

THIS TITLE MAKE ME ANGRY.

Now, mind you, there's not a lack of Mario out there. In fact, I think I kind of called on all of you to fucking quit it with the Mario already.

But those are fanworks. They're not official, and they're only in existence because Nintendo is merciful/tired and doesn't want to take them down. If Mario where legal to remake now, you'd see the XBLAs and PSNs and Steams just be bursting with Mario all over the place.

Not only that, but Mario would consistently be showing up in other videogames as well. But remember...


2) Somebody would Legally make Mario Horrible

Art by José Emroca Flores...please don't sue me! I have kids to feed!!

This is one of the concerns of people out there when we talk about shorter copyright: That  somebody could make a mockery of the authors intent. or, as it was put to me:

That Captain America: The Winter Soldier DVD was just asking for it.

You don't have to go very far to see that. Mario's  been possesed by the Satsui No Hadou, Princess Peach has been made to fuck her way through the Mushroom Kingdom and some people apparently think Waluigi is sexy.

Apologies to those of you that got here expecting sexy Princess Peach pics.

Invariably somebody's going to make a game where Mario is a serial killer, and it's going to be legal as shit. They'll be selling it on gamestop.

But this is a good thing, in the same way  American McGee's Alice is a good thing: By being able to do a dark take officially, we can get "Dark and Gritty Mario" to be something compelling, instead of something made to be just for kicks.


1) Nintendo would benefit most of all.

We're-ah all about the money!

 Yes, Nintendo will not be the only game in town with Mario game's anymore. But that's perhaps for the best.You see, Nintendo's sphere of influence it pretty much limited to Nintendo consoles, officially. They don't do PC, Mac, or cellphones(unless they started doing that and I never found out). What has happened is that, what, with the Internet and all, those of us who won't buy Nintendo's machines anymore can still play a game of Mario, only, say, one that happens to also have Megaman and Simon Belmont. The fans filled the void.

Nintendo's influence would spread ever farther if you could legally buy Super Mario Bros for the Xbox 1. People would play it, like it, love it, and then look for Nintendo to provide more. Sure, technically they didn't make money on the one sale, but "official" New Marios would still be available exclusively in Nintendo's machines.

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Star Wars Episode VII wish list

Am I late to the Star Wars Episode VII  speculation madness? Maybe. I'll just have to deduct this last 7 days from the next 3 years, huh?

It's crazy that it's been less than a month and we've already got 2 rumored directors, Mathew Vaughn and Some Other Guy. At this point Ep 7 is a formless mass in the future, and we feel we could shape it somehow by projecting our ideas into the web vacuum, even though it's  unlikely. Still, I am not immune, so here's a grab bag of my random wishes. So please...

Let Neil Blomkamp direct

And if he WAS racist, that's just perfect for Star Wars anyway.

Every fanboy out there is trying to rope up the bigger names in nerd franchises, because they think JJ Abraham's is about to drop out of Star Trek just for this and Christopher Nolan is willing to direct every single genre movie. Personally, I would much rather get District 9 director Neil Blomkamp. Watch Alive at Jorburg and tell me otherwise.

Blomkamp's visual style is what Star Wars was missing with the prequels\s ubberclean greenscreen rooms. Sure, D9 wasn't exactly the most original story ever, but if that's what you expect from Ep 7, then you need to ground your expectations a little.

Let Michelle Rodriguez have a part in it

She's not scared! She just wanted to know what it felt like!

Michelle Rodrguez is awesome. I don't think I should elaborate more on that. And if there's a part for a rough character woman in ther, Michelle should have it. Boy, did you just search your feelings? You know this shit be true!

Again, you're not shooting  some fancy Oscar bait film, here.  Michelle Rodriguez as a bounty hunter.

Let there be some kind of new Jedi type weapons

No, it's not a Swastika...I think.

The creation of new iconography is as important as the usage of the old one.  The Prequels found some  early success in this are with Darth Maul, and never did top it.

As iconic as the Lightsabres are, they are merely placeholders for actual swords. In this sense, other types of weapons should be given the same general treatmen. Dai-Katana, Halberds, lances, shields. Do not limit yourselves to what already exists. Since Star Wars is essentially Samurai and Cowboys in space, let's put some Kung Fu into that, huh?

Let there be less lightabre duels...but let those be meaningfull

Whoa! CG Yoda vs CG Cristpher Lee!

Again, Lightsabers are sort of important to Star Wars. But their usage should be tempered.

Each character should have a style of their own, according to their personality. They shouldn't just be whacking away at each other. Darth Maul, again, created a space for himself in the lore, but there isn't much to like him besides the aesthetics. Then again...Bobba Fett.

Let the story NOT follow Skywalker's kids.

Let's do this quick, boys. I left my shift at the construction site and my boss is a dick..

Dear Disney: If you can't do better than the Expanded Universe, then don't do nothing. Or do so anyway, make money, and have me pay for it. Either way I don't want to see the next generation of Lukes and Leias. Follow a new group of leads. They don't have to spiritually be sequels to Luke and Leia anyway.

If Original Trilogy  characters or their spawn must be in, let them be support for the new characters.

Let it not be overhyped...too late!

The problem with Star War is everyone feels they know it, and it's grown into more than what it originally was...some adventure movies. The new movies can't reach the beholden status of those. If you shoot for that, you will never reach it.

Well, see you guys in 2015. I'm sure It's the last time I'll be talking about this subject.

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The Capcom Timeline

Now, to sing us their latest hit "Rwooorwooo"...CAT FEVER!

What will come of the future? I used to think it would be as presented in fiction that was older than me: Flying cars, Flying backpacks and silver pleather tights. Then I thought it'd be a charred husk of desert where we survive until roaming gangs find us. I've since learned that the future is never what we expect. Amazing people work in things we don't imagine, evil people plan things we don't want to imagine, and silver pleather is never gonna be in style.



However, that doesn't mean that we can't look at fiction for a peek at what could be. For example...what if every Capcom game set on the future happened in a single timeline? What would our sons and daughters have to look forward to on it?



I mean, after all, the characters of Capcom games often intermix and coexist. Street Fighter and Final Fight share a universe. Chun Li(or a Chun Li looking Robot) shows up in Megaman 9. Jin from Cyberbots shows up un Tech Romancer. If it's all true, then let's see if it all fits.



First, a little Background...

Street Fighter 2-3 (1980s and 90s)



Terrorist leader M.Bison unsuccessfully tries to use martial arts contests to rule the world(should I even say it? I mean, it IS his quote). Bicolor Messianic cult leader Gill also attempts the same.

Bush Sr is a charge character, too.

Final Fight (1980s and 90s)

Gang violence erupts in Metro City, prompting several skirmishes between a small group of vigilantes and the gang members.



Resident Evil- 1998

A viral outbreak in Racoon city leads to the nuclear annihilation of it. Sporadic outbreaks take place after that.



Onimusha 3-1592 and 2004

Time traveling demons invade France, pissing of Jean Reno real bad.



Resident Evil 5-2009

The mastermind behind the viral outbreaks in Racoon City is finally delivered the kind of justice only Lava and rocket launchers can make.



Dino Crisis-2009



Paramilitary forces storm Ibis island, where they enter in contact with dinosaurs. By "come in contact with", I mean, "mostly get eaten by".



Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight-2010

Learned the gene splice from Cyclops.

Genetically engineered entity ravages several whole planets and mutates their populace until stopped by martial artist/scientist Ken Masters.



It goes without saying from here on up things did not come to pass.



Phoenix Wright- 2016



Two years after the increase in crime has lead to a complete subversion of how the justice system works and pretty much set human rights back decades, it's clear the system is here to stay.



Captain Commando-2026



The de-evolution of human rights and the increase in crime has finally lead to a baby in a robot suit punching people being not illegal in any way



.

Megaman: 200X-20XX(Between the year 2000 and the year 2099. It obviously did not happen while you was watching the second X-Men movie)




Seriously, somebody shoot Dr Willy.





Concern is raised when the advanced robotic technology that has become standard is being abused by criminals.



Battle Circuit- 20XX(Between the year 2010 and the year 2099. It obviously did not happen while you was watching the X-Men Prequel)



A group of mercenaries become engaged in unconventional warfare with an intergalactic gang for control of weapons of mass destruction. One of said mercenaries is a little girl in an ostrich that has an eyepatch.



Strider-2048

If you point out that this isn't that specific Grandmaster, I will murder you in your sleep.

Mysterious Posthuman dictator "the Grandmaster" takes over the earth, until assassinated by Strider Hiryu.



Cyberbots: Full Metal Madness- Near the end of the 21rst Century(Let's say from 2080-2099)

Pangalactic empire faces scandal involving using children as energy, which created huge negative feedback of the "giants mechs punching each other" variety.

Yeah, yeah, children into energy. I just want to know what your stance is on gay marriage.

Tech Romancer- ("The Far Future." Not so far that Jin Saotome from Cyberbots can't show up. Though who knows how long people of his time live?)

An alien invasion generates skirmishes among mech pilots.





Steel Battalion- Heavy Armor-2082

Computers have stopped existing, probably as backlash for the whole "children as energy" shit. Also, there was a sever drought in creative mech design. Probably on account of the Mech centric city stompings in Cyberbots and Tech Romancer.





Megaman X: 21XX(A Hundred years after Megaman Uno. I.E. From 2100 to 2199)






Self aware machines initiate revolt against humanity.


Seriously, Boomerant. That's what he oughta be called.



Star Gladiator: -2348

Pangalactic Empire of one Bad Darth Vader clone falls.

Plasma Sword: Nightmare of Bilstein -2349

Pangalactic Empire strikes back with Ghost Darth Vader clone in tow.

Dino Crisis 3-2548

Clearly Jurassic Park AND 2001: A Space Odyssey have been forgotten, because some jerk scientists have decided to put their Jurassic Park inside their Rogue A.I. space station.



Megaman Legends-80XX



The earth is now mostly flooded and whether the people left in it are traditional humans is anyone's guess. I warned you guys abut the space dinos!

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