The past is stupid: Outrun 2019

Hello, futurenauts! This post was written in 2012, but is schedjuled to debut in 2019, as a reminder of what we set out  we, as a species, thought you had in store for us. After all, the future is uncertain. Here in 2012 we refer to an ancient calendar as a sign of endtimes. But if you are reading this, this means we're stupid to do so.What did we expect from 2019, the year you are in? Well according to 1993's Outrun 2019 you are big into racing,...

Continue

Leaked in Early Secrets: The Plot to Kill Trump.

You are too beautiful for this ungrateful world, completely bereft of grates. Hey, paisanos! It's your friendly neighborhood Batzarro, here to bring you  another installment of Leaked In Early Secrets, or L.I.E.S. for short.Now, usually I'll talk about some upcoming game or movie or something of pop culture ephemera, but I can't. See, lately things have been feeling different. I'm full of energy, I'm happy, and things are looking up. And...

Continue

Dear Liberals: My love for Trump won't be broken!

TRUMP IS MY LIFE AND IF HE IS IMPEACHED MY LIFE IS MEANINGLE...

Continue

Ten Reasons Donald Trump wil be best President

Inseminate me Trump! Let's not beat around the Bush! Donald Trump will be the best leader AMericas ever had! Here is why! 10) He has powerful bisnessness Trump has more building with his name than Bark WhoINSANE O BAM BAM and HellaREEK Killingtons!  Anyone who hates him is they don't have bildings 09) 70 and can lift a truck I heard my cousins say they saw Trump lift a truck to get a kitten to safety. Mit Romney can't do that! 08)He's...

Continue

My Dream is become true! Donald Trump is President!

I have this recurring dream. I dreamt that I was tied to a bed. Into the room came Donald Trump! He had only a towel, but it could barely conceal his enormous manhood. He yanked it off! His penis was enormous, and the foreskin was pure gold. It shone like the sun. He climbed on top of me. "I want to have my way with you" and I was like YES! He was all, "but you have to pay" He inserted his virile member into me. His muscles shone like ...

Continue

Public Domain '16 Damage Report includes Supergirl, Ironman, Groot.

Happy Public Domain Day! I join Duke University in celebrating all the works that our current copyright has stolen out of the public domain. But no offense, Dukey, nobody  gets angry they can't remake Gone with the Wind and shit. I don't know about you, but they didn't show that on TV when I was growing up. People need to know which pop culture artifacts of the today would have been everyone's soon. This first year's list includes some of...

Continue

Game release lineup for 2015

A completely unrelated picture to start the post. With the release (that I'll probably update eventually, because I made it hurriedly for a gamejam) of Monsters of the King, that marks my 3rd or so published game. I've come to realize that when I'm just making a game that I wanna make, usually like a fighting game or something, I usually don't finish it, but when I put it in my head to make a game for a gamejam, with the date looming over me,...

Continue