Saturday, September 24, 2011

Collin Salmon and Michelle Rodriguez back in Resident Evil, movies become comics



Thank you, India...
Michelle Rodriguez and Collin Salmon are confirmed for the newer Resident Evil movie. If you don't remember them, Michelle was  the female soldier who became infected and was shot fatally in the head at the movie's climax, while Salmon was the one who was turned into little cubes of meat by lasers. The cubes where devoured offscreen by a monster.

I'm a fan of both of this guys, but I can't help but feel anything other than flashback sequences would be cheap. Sure, it could be clones or something, but come on! Really? After 10 years? Is Mike Epps gonna be coming back too?

I can't help but feel that bringing this characters back has some unknown side effect I should know about. Deal with the Devil type stuff. I don't know. I'm curious. But apprehensive.

Friday, September 23, 2011

What the hell are you sick fucks searching for NOW?



Dude, you fail at searching for porn.

5 Fighting game characters that should have retired already



There is life after round 3.
Fighting game tournaments are not like real life tournaments. Whereas in real life most of the people who compete do so for sport and train for it yearly, character stories in videogames need to be outlandish things full of good vs evil, revenge, and sometimes runaway brides. Those who say that fighting games have no stories really do a disservice to how committed the makers are for giving Mark Joe a reason to be in Mark of Punches 5.

 But in giving characters a motivation, sometimes it clashes with the fact that regardless of the ending, the character will probably come back at some point. If you stick with a fighting game franchise long enough, you will see every character come back at least once, regardless of how resolved their plot arcs are or how dead they where last time. But some of these characters fullfilled their reason to join the tournament years ago. And yet, here they are, still trading blows. Who are this guys?

Tina Armstrong(Dead or Alive)

Tina is one of my favorite characters from this franchise, with her lighthearted personality and enormous breasts. However, her motivation has been weird from the start. And this is from a series that has a character that is trying to defeat a guy who saved her once.

See, Tina is a wrestler, but she doesn't want to be a wrestler. She wants to be in show business. So she gets into the tournament to get enough money to do so.
Can you two let me talk?

Now, let's pretend in this world wrestling isn't staged.  But  the tricky thing is, at the end of each game, Tina succeeds into  getting  into different aspects of show business, while not winning the tournament at all. Which makes no sense. If she breaks into modeling in game 1, why would she need to fight in another tournament to break into acting? If Dwayne"The Rock" Johnson wanted to become a singer, would he have to participate in a tournament, too? No, silly, he's already in!

And if winning was key to her goal, why can she still achieve it even though canonically, she lost?

This is why the movie changed her motivation to the less stupid "I want out of fake wrestling."  And it's always sad when fighting game movies actually make sense of the games.



Sentinel(MVC3)

Sentinel, buddy: come here a minute. I know you started in  a game that was mostly mutants. You hunt those. It's your job. And then you came back in Marvel vs Capcom 2. You where a little broken, but I guess all the mutants where there, so it made sense. If you had to fight Strider and Megaman, well, that's just fine.
If he wasn't a mutant, he probably heard about them.

But why are you in Marvel vs Capcom 3? No, DON'T tell me about your fruit palette shenanigans. In this game there's like 3 X-Gene mutants and arguably two more technical mutants.

And no wonder, man! Last I  heard, Mutants without ongoing comic appearances where extinct. Even Jubilee's a vampire now. Maybe you should hunt vampires and quit this "fighitng game" business. You're not good at it anyway.



Balrog(Street Fighter)

Unlike everyone else in the Street Fighter universe, Balrog is in it for the money. He works for a terrorist in  a military uniform and punches people to death. For the money. But is this paying off?

See, everytime a Street Fighter game ends, Bison is defeated. Well, except if he wins I guess.

I would also guess that Balrog probably goes to jail, or escapes somehow. But why? Does Bison pay ahead, and  is the money that good? And how much money does one  really need that going back to fight Foodtown Bruce Lee and Pink Ryu is worth it?

It's time to retire, Balrog.  If you must fight, then fight. You don't need Shadaloo. And Shadaloo sure as hell doen't need you.

Seung Mina(Soul Calibur)

Seung Mina is a young Korean woman who wants Soul Edge because she doesn't want to get married off by her family and also to defend her country. So she runs away to search for the sword.

Am I missing something, here, lady? YOU RAN AWAY FROM HOME! You don't need to  depend on your parents anymore. Sure, you can't join the Korean Army because you're a gurl, but you could always just join the battle or pull a Mulan.

As for the marriage...well, problem solved. You ran away from home! Just stay away from home and that's it.
You don't need a magic sword, you just need some follow through. It's obvious you're self sufficient if you're traveling to some other country and fighting Ivy.
I think she'll do just fine.
 The thing about Mina is, we don't know if she's back in the series newest, decades after the fact timejump. But I'm guessing she'll be back.


Scorpion(Mortal Kombat)


You could argue that Scorpion is probably Mortal Kombat's most known character. Yet the demonic undead Ninja hasn't had a real reason to fight in years.


See, at first it was revenge for the death of his family as well as himself. And he got it. He killed the guy. Then the guy's brother showed up, dressed the same. This lead to a hilarious misunderstanding that lasted  several games and a spinoff. Finally, in Mortal Kombat 4, he finally caught up with the guy, but He wasn't the killer, this other magic motherfucker was to blame. So he dragged that guy to Hell.
GET OVER IIIIIIIIT!


After that, Scorpion's motivation started to get muddy. He chased the guy out of hell, became a conduit for the Elder Gods, then decided to get revenge against the Gods. Come on, Scorpion, kill the guy and rest in fucking peace already!


Oh, wait, time got reversed?  Well, back to hunting the brother of the guy who killed you then, I guess?

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Horrendous Theory: Princess Celestia's Biodome



Okay, okay, I already buckled under and fell to the charms of Friendship is Magic.  It's a show with a surprising amount of mythology, for a show that could have just been a series of vapid events that happen to a bunch of airhead ponies and still made money.

There's a creationist story with parallels to the Bible and other deistic writings. What with the world having been in chaos and The Titanomachian  fight of two goddess sisters against an older god and then the subsequent falling out between them. It's good stuff.

But the more I try to analyze the world of Equestria, the less sense it makes.
And if I've learned anything from Ancient Aliens is that if it doesn't make sense, reckless speculation is required.

You see, obvious stuff about sentient little horses that use magic aside, nothing about this world is natural. The Sun and the Moon  must be moved  by Celestia or Luna. The cloud and weather are controlled by Pegasi.

But it gets worse. In the episode Bridle Gossip, the Everfree Forest, which is spoken off with fear every time it's mentioned, is described as such : "Animals fend for themselves, trees grow all on their own, and the clouds move by themselves...it's so unnatural". This means that without the Ponies intervention, no part of  regular biological developments happen. And they're ignorant of this, as well as the existence of such common animals as zebras.
They have to freaking create their own seasons!

You'd think a smiling, ethereally maned, non-stop smiling ruler such as Princess Celestia would care more for fostering the knowledge of her denizens. But come on. She trapped her own sister on the moon.  Anyone who's ever stood in Celestia's path is trapped in something or some form. And you never saw Luna after she became good again, did you? Maybe she's back on the moon. Point is, Celestia's clearly after something, and it isn't the welfare of her denizens.
Yo, dawg, i heard you like the moon, so we put Nightmare Moon on the moon so you can moon while you moon.

You know what I think? I think the whole thing is some kind of crazy Truman Show-esque containment sphere, and the exit is somewhere in the Everfree Forest(it's even got the word free in it!), the only place where consistently dangerous things like Manticores and Bears made of stars exist, probably to keep  the ponypulation from  figuring out the truth. As for where exactly they are, my guess is some kind of space installation. If I had to  guess, I'd say Celestia puts and breeds ponies there so she can find the ones who will defeat  the unknown number of creatures that threaten her and had to be banished in some form or another. Or maybe she's just following orders. You haven't ever seen or heard of who the King and Queen of Equestria are, have you?

I see you, Faust!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Gotham doesn't judge

My father worked at the glass industry. I was like 9 when we moved. He got a job offer from Wayne industries. I didn't like the town. It's a shithole. but there's plenty of work here in the industry.


I grew up into the family business, I guess. By age 15 I was already pretty good at installing the panes, if not at making them. I also learned where the work is. Museums  always need new sets. Every other month, I got called for a museum.

Like, people in this town are really committed to glass dependent architecture. Especially skylights. I don't know why, since this city seems to be in some kind of spooky eternal night. If I was gonna have a Museum here, it's be all steel bars, like  a jail. If I had an ice-cream shop it'd be the same. Gotham's too rough a town for so much glass.



Met my wife here. She works replacing  windows for cars. We have to make the glass in Gotham. The only  thing you can import into this town is crossover events.  Still, she gets a lot of work here too.

Sometimes I get called when it's about repairing old, broken buildings. Lots of those in Gotham. And usually all their windows are broken. Mostly I guess kids being kids.


I'm not sure about Mr Wayne, though. Sometimes I feel he doesn't appreciate me and the work I do. Sure, there's more important people in Gotham.This town has good people. People who don't judge, because they all live in houses with glass ceilings. But when those people look up, they deserve to see something good.


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A taste of things to come...

Seriously, you're hardly ever given THIS much of a lead to prepare for trouble.
Nothing, just a banner teasing at the upcoming month. See, two years ago, I did Team Rocket Awareness week, where I posted a drawing every day of a week of Jessie, James, and usually Meowth too, in a different style. I wanted to follow up, last year, but couldn't. But this year, I'm making it a month-long thing.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Scolding Reviews: Generation X

Stay on top, or remain from the underground...
Where a bit spoiled for choice, now, aren't we? I mean, us nerds. Used to be a time when no one thought X-Men franchise was going to exist in live action. That is, until the first X-Men movie: 1996 TV movie pilot Generation X. Finally, we could overlook and ignore the idea for 4 more years!

This weird, forgotten little nugget starts with a dictionary description of what mutation is, as well as the illegal status of having the X-Gene. You're not gonna get no Senate hearings, here, no siree. Just pure mutant hunting! Sentinels, Soldiers...

Just kidding.  What did you think? It's straight to T.V.!

Then we see a scientist called Russel preparing to open up someone crab-handed mutant's cranium. Luckily for the would be lobotomy victim, a lady bursts in the room and starts freeing him. Turns out the thing wasn't quite legal. However, neither was the guy, as he's quickly taken away by the Anti-Mutant squad. Russel is fired, which pisses the lady off because she expects her boss to do some additional course of action that is never explained. In fact, she gets so angry, she uses her mutant powers to create a small storm inside the building. Boy, did you just make Storm white?
Yorrr NEKST!

No, actually she's Emma Frost.  She walks out of the scene despite using her non canon weather powers in the open, where the Mutant Hunting Squad mustn't have even gotten to the elevator. Russel is furious, and we know, because there's a cartoon circle fadeout!
Not so merry melodies...

Then we cut to the tearfull goodbye of a Hispanic family to Hector, a young man headed for Xavier Academy. It's not too bad a scene, that is, until one of his sisters gets a little to attached to him, and as the car keeps moving she holds on to his hand, which stretches. This seems to really hurt him. I guess this was supposed to be both a tender moment and a showing of Hector's powers. Instead, it makes the sister seem psycho.

But evil is afoot, as Russel has been busy putting Subliminal messages on Virtua Fighter arcades ordering kids to "PLEY MOAR", which might seem unnecessary with people involved already ENGAGING IN USE OF THE PRODUCT, but a quick glance at the screen reveals Jubilee is often just hitting the sticks on Demo Mode.


Oh, yeah, Jubilee's in this movie. Only she's not half Chinese, half 90s slang anymore. Before you start another  "Racebending" type site, she was originally slated to be either Boomer, or Dazzler, but  since Jubilee was popular in the cartoon they put her in, changing the character's role. That's right, this 3 where actually considered interchangeable as starter X-Men  characters!
The trial ends in 15 days.




Jubilee's powers are soon made to go haywire by Russel's subliminal messages, making those sparks that she's known for.  As such, the Gestapo IMMEDIATELY show up to send her to "mutant camp".  However, she's picked up by Banshee and Emma Frost, the later of which uses a neat Jedi trick to break her out of detention.

As soon as they are out of the building, Jubilee starts trying to wriggle away from the two, without even  trying to wonder what they want with her. I can see her getting a block away from the Mutant Detention Center, then getting caught right the fuck up again.

Ah, the silliness of X-Men shining through. Where concentration camps exist in a world where you can't say faggot on T.V. Will Smith can't talk about Hitler without getting in trouble, but human beings with literally no rights can just be hoarded of to some non-descript place because they have the X-Gene. I'm just saying, you'd probably have some of them Civil Rights organizations on the  side of mutants.

So she agrees to go with Good Cop and Bad Accent Cop and they tell her, in those exact words, that she's being trained to be a superhero. See, in the X-Men movie series they never used the term because the X-Men are technically meant to be a force for mutant issues. That they fight people that have nothing to do with that like Arcade or the Brood has nothing to do with it. But here, they are straight telling her she's gonna fight crime, even thought Mutant Genocide is well implied. They probably knew Magneto was only gonna show every once in 3 months and the rest of the time was gonna be spent between mourning Phoenix, fighting  Phoenix and trips to the Savage Land.

Speaking of shit that doesn't have anything to do with the Mutant Struggle, Russel is speaking with his exec partner about how excited he is that he found a level 3 mutant brain because this furthers his goals by allowing him to access the dream dimension. See, dreams occur in another dimension, even the weird ones where you cut your brother's thumb off in the Halo universe, and  Russel asks his friend to "imagine the commercial possibilities for a free market omnipotent being." No, don't ask me. I didn't write it.

More importantly, Russel begins down the path to the character he really wants to be.

Yes, he's the Riddler from Batman Forever. The mind devices, the weird overacting, the sudden impersonations. The actor clearly researched that before doing this one. The only thing he's missing is a crush on Val Kilmer.

So, Hector and Jubilee arrive in Xavier's School for gifted youngsters(Charles Xavier not included). It's the same building  as in the future movies, too. However, there are not a lot of open shots of it. Either way, Jubilee has to get naked for some test thing, and since Xavier's institute likes being sued, no one has to leave or anything. The scene is pretty much an excuse for us to see Jubilee's naked back. Hey, she's 19, I checked!


Then it's time for Jubs and Hector to meet their fellow students. There's Black Jock, who can absorb properties of things. Blond Jock, who has both X-Ray vision and eye-lasers(YES!). There's Insecure Girl, who doesn't want people to see she's Superstrong because she has supermanly muscles. And there's Bitch Mutant, who cites herself as being "perfect" and having "level 8 invincibility". Wowee, I never knew invincibility was so nuanced.

3 out of this for foursome act with ridiculous, unjustified hostility toward the newcomers.  Without any reason they verbally and physically harass them, despite the fact they have no reason to. That's what teenagers are like, right? Especially teenagers who have had to live in exile and be separated from their loved ones? They're instajerks, right?

So, the kids eventually play some Football, which ends into a sort of friendly pileup. But Banshee can't have that in his school, so he uses his mutant powers to break it up. It's a nice use of his powers, but we could make it better.

So after some more jerking around, Banshee and Emma Furostu show up again to show the kids Cerebro(A room full of monitors. Hey, what was you expecting?) and teach them psychic powers. Yes, they all learn psychic powers.  That's how mutants work in  Generation X. Like in Fable.

Also, we see a small hint at the hatred this kids go through, as in the lounge room, the TV shows an interview with a pundit comparing the X-Gene to Aids. Naturally, Blond Jock destroys the television, which is met with approval by the kids. Why where they even watching that in the first place? And won't they want to watch something else in the future?

So the Excec and Dr Russel have different variations of the same conversation ("Don't fuck it up!" "I'm so weird! I will fuck it up!") which is pretty fillery, but since the actor who plays Russel gets the weridest lines in the world, and turns the camp up to eleven, it's tolerable.

Eventually, the X-kids convince Banshee to let them drive into town. Yes, a jeep full of impulsive teens with aggressive tendencies and superpowers, with no supervision. You know, parents trust the Xavier Institute with this kid's lives. And even though a trip to the town could land them in Gitmo, they STILL let them. Damn.
Also, leave your 90210 jokes at home. They brought their own.

Eventually Hector runs into some lighthearted bullies who  shove his face in Ice cream for liking the girl of the group.  This of course, causes indignation in Hector's current bullies from the Institute. No, I see what you did there, movie. I guess the bullies have their own bullies, too, right?

Tired of it all, Hector uses his hacking skills to  access a restricted room in the school in which Emma Frost's dream traveling machine resides.
Also, it tones your abs.

But he's not the only one with big dreams, as Russel the next day demonstrates his own dream-ey access-ey machine to a boardroom of investors. They're skeptical, so he tells them he implanted in their mind, through dreams a trigger to fart at a particular hour. This, rather than convincing them to invest in a machine, makes them decide to turn him in to the authorities. I guess the same world where a gene can be considered illegal already has legal provisions against mental takeover, huh?

So Russel kills the Exec by throwing him off a bulding. Yes. Just like the Riddler.
Flying menace!

So, Jubilee and Hector try the machine. She enters first, but Russel is also there, and he creeps her out with his weirdness and his harassy nature. She comes out of the machine crying and saying it was terrible. Hector, seeing this JUMPS INTO THE MACHINE. Yeah, not a smart one, that Hector. But  he travels into the dreams of his dreamgirl, which involve her combing her hair, in her room. Wow, what an airhead. Anyway, Russel also shows up and promises to help Hector with his dream-girl troubles.

But then the cops IRL disconnect him from his machine, which leaves his mind stranded in the dreamstate. This seems painfull, then he seems to enjoy it. The scene kinda just ends.

The next night, the kids are allowed into a carnival. You know...I'm kinda seeing the mutant registration  side of things. How am I supposed to enjoy a good  carnival worrying about some unsupervised teens who can kill me without even trying? Bitch mutant shows off, Blond Jock and Insecure Girl make out in the car, and Hector meets his girl outside the Matrix. Then her bully friends show up and try to harass him again, which starts a fight with the Xavier kids. This gets them in trouble with Emma Frost, who could ascertain that it wasn't their fault if she only read their mind. I guess she isn't a telepath anymore?

Wigs where part of this franchise from the start.
Hector sneaks into the Fantasy Zone once more, and executes a terrible dance sequence with the girl, when shock of shocks, Russel appears again. He begs for Hector to free his body from the mental hospital it's trapped in so he can enter his mind again. He doesn't want to, and that's when shit gets creepy.

Russel threatens that he will...and he uses the exact words "mind-rape"  his girl if he doesn't complain. As an added creepy bonus, he brings up his little sister from earlier(I guess her mind), licks her face, and threatens to rape her mind as well. Wow that's another one for the rape tag.
I don't seek these out. I swear I don't. They come to me!

Hector becomes involved and frees Russel's body and mind(eww). But Russel pays him by kidnapping him for purposes of cutting off his brain. I thought he wanted Jubilee. But I forgot: Nobody wants Jubilee.
Everybody hates you.

Hector uses his...psychic powers...to contact Jubilee and ask for help, which brings but to the film's climax as all the X-Kids, Banshee and Emma Frost head out to fight one middle aged guy with no powers. Needless to say it's pretty one sided. The guy gets zapped, punched, fireworked. But after he's blasted through a wall, he comes back and he's all powerful and behind the wall was the Dream Dimension. I did not understand this.

So Frost offers to stay and go down with Russel, but  Hector instead wraps around him and throws both him and the villain down the eternal hole of the dreamstate. It seems both are gone, but Hector comes back using his stretchy powers.

Winding down, we see that the kids are gonna get uniforms. Here's why we can't have source accurate X-suits, kids.
And yet Emma Frost never uses lingerie as her primary wear.

This movie is...a T.V. movie about X-Men, made in the 90s. It's exactly what you'd imagine by that. The action is pretty bad, and the acting isn't great. A lot of this stuff just can't be realized on a low budget.  The characters aren't really that likeable, though the villain is pretty fun, before he becomes too creepy. I suggest if you like obscure films like those Captain America movies or that terrible Fantastic Four 1994 movie,  or if you need to see every superhero movie out there, give this a chance. If you are lactose intolerant, stay away, 'cause this shit is cheesy.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I shed my pride...

Who wants some humble pie?

Oh, crap.

I should never have opened the door. I thought I was strong. I thought I would shame them.  What hubris!

I yield. I thought  I could watch that blasted Ponies show, then come back here and tell you all why it's not that great. Tell you how the hype doesn't hold. Tell you that you you where blowing it out of proportions. And now I need to figure out the answer of why it IS that great. Why? Why did I feel like watching it and not stopping? Why is it crack for the eyes and ears?

You see, what  was but one question (What's the big fuckin' deal with the fuckin' ponies?) has now become several less important questions that somehow hit me harder.  Questions like "Will we see Celestia's sister again?" and "Which time next week does the new season start? and "Why doesn't my cable provider have "The Hub"?
Why isn't this working as  a viable substitute?

Curse me! Curse my intent!  Even as I groaned every time the Cutie Mark Crusaders entered the screen, even when I realized the eye lasers and forearm missiles just weren't coming, I could not stop myself. It is madness that there are shows I know I should be watching, like the Anime X-Men, and...well, I decided to watch Ponies instead.

It is madness! There is "nothing" in this show for me. Why, I started watching several old shows in the last couple of months. Why is this one the one I followed through on it? I cannot condense it down to snark. I cannot just praise it. It's terrible!

Oh, and Paheal is RUINED for me. I used to go "yeah, some sick fuck gets his rocks off to ponies being fucked". But now I feel...bothered by seeing this characters in R34 situations. I do not usually feel this for characters I like. Usually it's either "Hey, Rogue naked! or "Ew, I don't want to see Pinky and the Brain doing THAT!" It must have arrived at some kind of sick threshold. I'm not the "leave them alone" type, but that's what's in my head. No, DON'T show me Twilight Sparkles getting screwed by some flying penis. DON'T.How the fuck is she gonna tell Princess Celestia later? Have you no shame?

Oh, what foolery! What a fool I was! I should have stayed away!  None of this would be happening! Heed my advise! You are not strong enough! Stay away!

Oh, well, back to  my otherwise manly activities.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Frequently Stupid Questions: What's so wrong with changing Amanda Waller?

Q: Why are people making a big deal over Amanda Waller's new, sexy body?

Aww, you little dumb ass! There are multiple layers as to why making Amanda Waller no longer fat is idiotic. I'll try not to run through the ones that aren't immediately obvious.
Nice figure!

First off, the character benefits more from being fat than from being thin. No, really. Comics are a visual medium.  From a visual perspective, having the character be physically unfit is a great way to say "this character is not  from the part of the DC universe that punches Metallo. She's from he part of the world where there's meetings in the Pentagon." She doesn't have the strength of  a human who engages in regular exercise. She's not that kind of character.

Making her more like Rosario Dawson serves no visual purpose. She's just some hot woman. It takes away a little of the element of gritty non-fantasy.


Second: It takes away the character's uniqueness. Those of you complaining that the character was a cliche must know even less about her than I do. I never even read her comics in Borders and even I know she's not just a woman with a stick up her fat ass. Here's the thing, though, even if she's a cliche, now she's all wrong because ANGRY AUTHORITATIVE FIGURES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY.

Mutation-gate!
Seriously, find me one, ONE angry police Captain, one school principal, one  ANGRY boss who happens to be sexy. You can't. That's not part of that particular cliche. It's just trading the Cliche of  "Angry Black Woman"(which by the way, barely surmises the character at all) for the even bigger cliche of "And she's also sexy". She doesn't have to be sexy. Does Nick Fury have to be sexy? Does Prof X need to be sexy?  Do we need sexy Splinter? Some characters don't need to be sexy. Amanda Waller is among them.

And yes, she was made sexy in the Green Lantern movie. You see, many people didn't complain about it there(I sort of did), but honestly that just unmasks this for what it is: a shallow Hollywood move. See, we expect this sort of thing from Hollywood because we've come to be used to this bullshit being used in adaptations all the time. But here's the thing:  The DC universe, even the newly reinvented one, is bigger than any movie universe. See, Green Lantern was just that: a movie, limited by what went in the frame. The DC universe is united: It's a universe that has Supergirl, Wonder Woman and Black Canary. It has filled it's hot girl quota. You don't really have need to change Waller.
Also, no one fucking saw Green Lantern. Regardless of fat.

Again, as with those Star Wars changes, you gotta wonder who they're for. Amanda Waller has had a pretty good run as a black, fat female. She even has a couple "other media" appearances. And the book she's in has Corset Harley Queen getting arrested by Black Canary's rump, apparently. Was there ever a feeling this character would bring in more people  if she were sexier? Even Michael Bay movies have non-pretty folk in them.
It's true, just ask Steve Buscemi!
It's just a head-scratching choice. It's fantasy, yes, but even fantasy has niches that can't be fulfilled by idealized people. You'd think DC, of all people, would understand this. The DC of Etta Candy and Jimmy Olsen. The DC of Alfred, James Gordon, and  Harvey Bullock. The DC of Prof Hamilton. You'd think they'd understand how in a world of fantasy, not everything can be THE SAME.

Yahoo News Adventures: Frozen with FEAR!

Keep raising awareness, YN.

Love Letter: Create-a-Character

This love letter is dedicated, not to  some character I like, but to a character I could like. That's right, I'm here to sing the praises of custom character making.

If you came from my Youtube, I don't need to tell you I love creating my own characters for games. But what you don't know is that I was at it since earlier than 2005.

My first real experience with custom characters was in WWF War Zone for the Nintendo 64. I actually did a short term trade with a friend for it, and I loved the custom character option. It was the only reason I rented Deadly Arts, though that was a massive disappointment.
It's not the size of the head on the dog, it's the size of the fight in the  tanktop of the dog.

By the time I  had a Dreamcast, I had decided the fearure was enough to justify a purchase, and bought WWF Attitude. I spent hours creating Characters from movies, comics, women that looked naked. It's silly, I can create a character on paper, but as much as I love Create a characters, I always end up creating characters from other stuff. I just sorta see the potential for them.
What?

Finally, in 2k5, I bought Mortal Kombat: Armageddon. I began creating vids of my Created characters and uploading them through university computers. I actually planned several original characters, but I dropped that. Never could get them.
Hey, we need new Valises eventually!

Sure, sometimes custom characters feel like they don't belong there. But It's all in good fun. I haven't done a good amount of custom character-ing in a while, but hopefully  eventually, the stars will align and I'll make some more!