Thursday, November 12, 2009

Horrendous Theory: Birthday Girl

If you're anything like me, you like watching kids cartoons and making up insane postmodernist assumptions about the characters involved. Hey, it's a gift. Though I'm not the kind of person to actually believe this theories, but I definitively like thinking them.

As you may have also notice, I've kind of taken a liking to the PBS show Wordgirl. It's a show that's quicker, smarter and funnier than lot's of stuff out there. But is it secretly hinting at something darker? Let us see!

This(second part) episode focuses on Eileen, a girl who grows in size whenever she really wants something, and Wordgirl and her overly chill friend Violet  must rescue Wordgirl's sidekick Bob. 

Unless you where too busy thinking that Violet was a stoner lesbian kid, you missed a very sad story of genetical engineering and death.

Eileen, what is her origin? The show doesn't SEEM to tell us, but I think I kind I know.You need to read between the lines.

Name: Eileen=Alien(Yeah, not the first time I've seen THIS nameplay.)

Claims everyday is her birthday and she loves gold stars. This last part is important, because she doesn't seem to go to the same(or any) school as our protagonists.

Her house seems uninhabited, and no adults claim her as a daughter, despite the fact she destroys most of the town.

So here's my theory: It all started 10 years ago. In some lab outside Preposterocity (yes, that's the name of the town. Don't wear it out:) the military industrial complex is attempting to mix human DNA with that of aliens from another planet. This particular aliens are able to increase their mass to show dominance, and are telepathically linked to those of their own species as well. A whole batch of clones where created, though, based on the DNA of one scientist. Let's call her Dr Helen.

DR Helen managed to get the right DNA mixture of human and aliens, which resulted in children who are able to increase in size when they get  a goal in their mind, and also develop and learn  in ridiculous amounts of time. A baby can develop into a preteen in 6 months. But they don't live much beyond that. Helen, and the folks at the Military industrial Complex want to know exactly what practical combat applications a giant preteen can have. So when clones his a certain mark, they take one them out of stasis, implant memories and put pretty dresses on her, then let her loose on the city. They know it will lead to the subject getting all agitated and turning, which will make Wordgirl fight her.

 At the end of the day, the body begins to fail. The alien DNA rejects the human DNA, and she dies. Then the cover-up happens, as she is thought to go "home"(she's never shown to be convicted, in a show where "Energy Monster" is.)

And a couple of months later a new clone is let loose. She possesses some memory of past events, but has no concept of time. She thinks it's her birthday.

It really Is her birthday everyday: She was born out of a capsule under the watchfull eye of her "Mommy" DR Helen. The gold stars remind her of  the military men she sees earlier in the day, and of her home planet across space. She is blissfully unaware of her status as an abomination, a product of science and a doomed life.

Or maybe I read too much into it.

F.A.R.T. Vol 3 My F.A.R.T will go on

Ladies and Gentlemen, I've been busy lately to post anything here or on TGWTG. I've had  official University Stuff to do, and I'm lazy and easilly distracted. Worse , I don't know how long until they cut my Internet for lack of payment. So, if this is to be our last post together, let's spend it in style.

Let's go to a fancy place. A place with candles, overpriced food and french waiters. Let's go on a date.

Below, some Fanart that fell into my web. I will tell you exactly what I think  of the piece.

This piece is simply titled Romance. I like the soft pastel tones. Also, THAT'S SOME FUCKED UP SHIT RIGHT THERE!

It's what amounts to a ghost holding hands with what amounts to a rat. Necrobestiality? Spiriphilia? Really, help me out here? The ramifications of such a relationship are astronomical!

Also, it's funny to imagine the sweet nothings Haunter and Rattata will say. "HAUN-HAUN! TER HAUN! RATTA-TA! TATTA RATA!"

My knoweledge of  Twilight is limited, so I can't say if this ever happened in the books. Edward had a tentacle for an arm, and the world's worst mullet, right? And he and Bella where conjoined at the head?

I don't want to diss the style of this either, because frankly, the artist seems to have gone for a  "Rugrats" kind of abstraction. I still think Eduard had two legs, though...

My first instinct with this was to accuse it of being traced. Something about it just reeks of trace. But I was too lazy to check it out. So, if not traced, this is a pretty good drawing.

Except well...Jasmine isn't that white. Never was. Even Aladdin's skin was darker. What happened? Could you not be bothered to look  up pictures of the characters to see what their skin was like?

This is what Jasmine looks like. You want me to go show you what Aladdin like? Honestly, you could google image the background for your art, you might as well go for broke and get the characters right. I never thought I'd say this, but you just whitewashed Disney.

I am saddened by the odd chance this relationship may end. But we must endure, for true love is eternal, no matter how mismached, deformed, or ethnically challenged the lovers may be.