The Lost Marvel Episode IV: Eef AH JUST SPREAD MY WIIIINGS!

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

So now you see that Freckles Marvel is not a one trick pony.  One the one hand, she's an insane, delusional, clumsy violent sociopath with no  self-preservation skills. On the other, she's fairly clever, posthumanly kind, and actually able to kick some ass every once in a while. Am I reading too much into it? Ha! Jokes on you, I'm never not reading too much into it.

Once again, Mary Batson is visiting her friend Mary Dudley, who is never again adressed as Mary even by her parents. Keep in mind, last time she got here it was by train, Clearly Mary Batson has taken a liking to her. Is it too early to ship em? Sadly nothing's happening.

Well, I always come in to check in case you've choked on your own tongue.

Nothing except the town inventor visiting Mary D's father to sell him a future flight enabled backpack called a  Birmobile. The idea of just a door to door jetpack salesman is not even that amazing to them.

Look at this money! You were going to a good University before I stepped into your life!

The device works fine, with the odd, immediate, potentially fatal technical glitch.

Sometimes I forget that "Holey Moley"is not the magic phrase!

Of course, Mary  Marvel saves the day. Naturally, they put on the device away and  never again touch it.

Just kidding. Freckles puts it on, while the captions helpfully explain that, yes, everyone around her knows she's a stubborn idiot and that they will not waste words trying to explain to her how bad the idea is.

They have to physically restrain her to keep her from downing bleach.

For a while, the character gets fullfilment, and achieves peace with her fantasy of being more like Mary Marvel...

With great power come great upskirts.

... until a tragic Icarian  situation goes over. (See...read too much into it yet again). For a few pages Mary D flies all over town, wrecking shit, almost killing people, and caing general mischief. Until she's just about to die. That's when  Mary M steps in for the save.

See? What'd I tell you about upskirts!

This is why you skipped out on MKvsDC, Mary.

The Shazam girl uses her acronym powered wisdom to fix the machine, and since  both Dudely's are now fully against it, she tests it herself as Mary Batson. It's kind of a dick move, I say. Or is it a vag move? It's some kind of terrible genital move to try a device for flight even thought you can fly.

Hey! If you're not dying, you pay extra!

But speaking of assholes, Mr inventor guy now wants his invention back because it works. The nuts on this guy, I tell you. Luckilly, when they give him the device the towns people accuse him of the damage Mary D's ride caused. And also...

IT'S THE LAW, ASSHOLE!

And so our heroines plead their goodbyes.

I'm glad I'm here instead of fighitng Captain Nazi!

This one did not raised my opinion of FMarv more than the last one, but I guess seeing Mary fly across the sky reminds me of her plight to be a hero, despite not being quite Marvel potential. It's also not the only one of a series I like to call "What if Freckles Marvel could fly?" Manifesting the character struggling with the conflict of her desires, and what happens when they obviously turning out quite different.

Whoa. See, there I go again.

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World exclusive look at Alpha Danger Squad behind-the-scene

Here in BGE, I pride myself in bringing up obscure things that no one else is blogging about. And what could be more exclusive than a videogame that only exists in my mind. Here's a quick look at a little something I've worked up for Alpha Danger Squad, the only videogame starring public domain superheroes. Err, Mortal Kombat vs Dc Universe and Injustice notwithstanding.

It's missing the creepy music, though. I'm also happy to announce I'm advancing enough that I have the confidence to announce a proof of concept game  for this summer. Called  Alpha Danger Squad: Karno's Perfect Game, I will use it as a platform for my crowdfunding campaign. I wanted to call it Karno's Revenge, but I got legal cold feet.

So, more on that front soon.

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The Lost Marvel Episode III: 2 for the Money, 2 for the Freckles

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

In this episode we see a very different side of Mary Dudely/Freckles Marvel. Like all good stories, it starts with the protagonist finding out she's rich.

Or, you know...maybe he was really good at crime.

Naturally, we've seen this story a million times. Frecks gets a million dollars from some offscreen dead relative and goes money crazy and conceited and forgets everyone she knew, until she loses it, and finds out the real treasure is family/friendship. That's when the writer of this story shyamalans you.

I mean, wouldn't that be the oldest friggin cliche in the book!

That's right.  Not being a shithead like her Uncle, Mary Dudely spends her first day buying stuff on credit (and people take her word for it) before she even gets the money.  She gets Mary Batson on her shopping spree, and she's secretly proud of her friend. But If there's something Mary D loves herself more than charitable donations, it's violence, so she buys herself a B-B gun.

So she can fire off a few rounds before sleeping.

After a good night shooting the shit, she goes to bed. And life had never been sweeter.

So she gets kidnaped immediately.

Unlike the art for this stories, the Swamps existence remains constant.

After a ransom note is recieved in the Dudely home, Mary Marvel goes on the trail for the kidnappers. Her search leads her to...Mary dudely owning the two kidnappers with her BB gun. Why'd they let her keep that thing?

Gritty Reboot of Freckles Marvel should involve  play swords.

One of the ruffians tries to escalate things by pulling a gun on Mdudz, to which the other disagrees. Of course, Mary Marvel  clocks the more violent guy. But then they pull another twist.

I can recognize him now that I can see the missing 20 percent of his face!

That's right, the other kidnapper is THE GUY WHO HAD INHERITED HER THE MONEY! Turns out he was alive and poor, and the inheritance was to another similarly named girl by another similarly named uncle a town over.  When he heard his niece had gotten rich, he kidnapped her.  This family is...a little disfunctional.

And they won't forgive me, even if the town is named after me!

Freckie gets pretty dismayed that she's gonna have to now pay for the stuff she bought, but then yet another twist! There was a reward for the guy she caught! It's enough to pay her bills. And so, Mary Dudely ends the story with a single earned penny and a smile on her face.

The bank does not accept "helped a lot of poor people"as a down payment on a yacht, though.

There were several  new things for Mary Dudely. This is her first story she's out of her costume for the long run. We see her parents for the first time. And, oh yeah, this is the first evidence  we get she's anything more than a terrible person.

When we first met her, there was this whole, "oh, here comes an idiot to pretend to be a superhero hahahaha what an idiot."  vibe. But overtime they've continued to expand on the character, to the point you get that Mary Marvel wasn't just being naive to think well of her. Or maybe I'm reading way too much into this. Why don't we flip a few pages... and see what's next?

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April Fools

April Fools!

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Scolding Review:Birth of a Nation

By my calculations, you should be paying 600 dollars per horse.

Award season is finally over, and we can finally put it behind us that movies people actually enjoy can hardly ever win. As fans of the scifi, adventure, and horror genres, we geeks feel this sting the most, as we must watch tepid, overdramatic pieces be recognized over the time Hulk slammed Loki into submission.

But it wasn't always like this. In fact, the very first  Academy Awards show gave quite a few prizes to one of the genre pioneers, Birth of a Nation.

I had heard of this movie in passing, and thought I'd give it  a review. After all, it's not every day you see a silent film with Zombies and masked Vigilantes by D.W. Wright, surely the Michael Bay of his time, but probably not as racist or at least with a better handle on history. I tried to avoid all spoilers, including not looking at Wikipedia and not reading the subtitles. After all, I think the drama can sell itsel well enought. Are you ready for an epic story full of Superheroes fighting Zombies?  Well, it's after the jump!



I have been informed that Birth of a Nation is NOT a film about Superheroes, nor are it's antagonists "zombies". I apologize for my mistake.  Enjoy your day.

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