Friday, March 21, 2014

Top 100 game franchises that need to come back more than Shaq Fu

Pictured here, Yao Ming's grandfather at a recent game.

The news has not escaped me that giant oaf and maybe still Basketball player Shaquille O'Neil has joined forces with a game studio to make a new Shaq Fu game. With players footing the bill, off course. Because, like, Shaq doesn't want publishers getting in there and ruining his artistic vision, probably.
Don't they get it? It's about man's inhumanity to man!

So maybe some of you would consider giving Shaq your money to make a big stupid game starring his big, stupid self. I wouldn't. But  hey, it's just that he ruined one of my favorite Superheroes, insulted my people, and probably eats children in his castle after they climb up the beanstalk.  But besides that, Shaq Fu just doesn't need a remake. Or whatever it is called when you make  a sequel 2 decades after the fact, in a completely diffferent genre, aparently having ditched everything but Shaq's prescence.

You see, I think there is a priority. Not every franchise will get new games, but there are some franchises out there that, by right, deserve to have new games released more than Shaq Fu. Sure, the real punchline is "all of them", but I'll try to keep this small sample list to games that haven't had a new entry in at least ten years, and whose studios are still around to maybe make them. Sorry, Perfect Dark 3 and  Marvel vs Capcom 4. For the record, you do deserve to exist more than Shaq Fu.

1) Valis


2) Comixzone
3) Vectorman
4) Powerstone
5) Mutant League Football
6) Streets of Rage
7) Ristar
8) Freedom Force
Irrational game's is dead. (sniff)

9) Barney's Hide and Seek
10) Dino Crisis
11) Megaman Legends
12) Toki Densho: ANgel Eyes
13) Deadly Arts
14) Shenmue
15) Bad Dudes
16) E.T. the Extraterrestrial
17) War Gods
18) Charle's Barkley's Shut up and Jam!
19) Shadow of The Beast
20) TMNT tournament Fighters
21) Pokemon Snap
22) Mischief Makers


23) Rakuga Kids
24) Vigilante 8
25) Star Wars: Masters of Terras Kasi
26) Ninja Shadow of Darkness
27) Gun.Smoke
28) Kung Fu chaos
29) Acro the Acrobat
30) The Sega Genesis X-Men series
31) Outrun
32) Tetris Attack
33) Brute Force
34) Jet Set Radio
35)Chip N' Dale: Rescue Rangers
36) Time Killers
37) Chronicles of Riddick
38) Goemon: Mystical Ninja
39) Saturday Night Slammers
Sex doesn't sell, actually.

41) Gargoyles
42) Space Harrier
43) Dr Robotnik's Mean Been Machine
44) Black and White
45) True Crime
46) Phantasy Star, but the real game and not this "online" shit.
47) Blast Corps.
48)  Moon Patrol
Happy Days 2099

50) World Heroes
51)Fighter's Destiny
52) Space Station Silicon Valley
53: Panzer Dragoon
54) Voodoo Vince
55) Sudeki
56) Fusion Frenzy
57) The Grid
58)Star Wars: Knighs of the old Republic and no, still none of this "online" shit.
59) Variable Geo
"I was wondering which one would break first...your table schedule, or your body!"

60) Beast Wrestler
62) Capcom's Marvel beat-em-ups
63) Robocop vs Terminator
64)Clay Fighter
65) Crazy Taxi Holy crap, they did it! It's dissapointing, but they did it! Let's say then, Battle Arena Toshiden.
66) Star Gladiators/Plasma Sword
67) Knights of the Round
Hey, Perceval! This isn't 300! Cover them pecs!

68) Combatribes
69) Armorines
70) Dysney's Magical Tetris whatever it was called
71) Dynamite Cop/Die Hard
72) Batman Returns
73) The Urbz
74) Simant
75) Seaman
76) MDK
77) Fear Effect
78) Mace: The Dark Age
79) Battle Raper
80) Kabuki Klash/Far East of Eden
82) Metal and Lace: Battle of the Robobabes
What? A big rouge mech can't be a babe?

83) Galactic Warriors
84) Raging Fighter
85) Those NES Flinstones Games
86) Warcraft, but like the strategy game and not the MMORPG.
87) Paperboy
88) Ikari Warriors
89) The Super Star Wars series.
90) Kameo
91) Dead to Rights
92) Captain America and the Avengers
93) Blasto
94) Rumble Roses
96) One
Thanks to games like this and V.S., Google Image Search won't ever be "just that easy".

97)Awesome Possum kicks Dr machino's Butt.
99)Turok, I think?
100) Street Fighter: The Movie

I just made clickbait and didn't even realize it until I'd finished. Is there a series you;d like to see that's not on the list, or did I miss a recently announced new Rumble Roses game? Lemme know!


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