Open letter to Steve Gaynor



This is the guy I'm talking to, Google Image Search

Greetings, MR Gaynor. I would like to say I'm a big fan, but alas, I'm barely aware of your work. As of late my finances keep me from enjoying most modern games. I did see the ad for your game, Gone Home. It looks intriguing and well done.

I read your piece regarding John Walker's article on the public domain, and how games should become public domain after 20 years. And I want to reply to that, because the public domain is a subject that highly interests me as of late.

One day your game, Gone Home, will be public domain. That won't be within most our lifetimes, in modern law.  Your characters, your stories, they are yours, until after 75 years after you die(if you, as a person, own the IP. If Fullbright owns it, and it does, make that 95 years starting with this one).

But let's examine exactly what would happen if Gone Home went public domain in 20 years.

Everyone would be able to duplicate your game. Admitedly, having everyone be able to make their own Gone Homes would cut into your profits from selling the game. It is interesting, because games, unlike Music or Movies, have to essentially be remade for each platform they are on. In the 2030s, who knows what platforms will exist?  Will people start porting the Game to Super IPhone 25, Nintendo WaHoo and Game Implant? Possibly.

However, this will not stop Steve Gaynor from also doing so. What's more, as the original creator you should have priority if your game still piques people's interest 20 years down the line. As someone who is presumably still a force in the games industry, Steve Gaynor would have the advantage over most people in this. Batzarro's Gone Home would obviously hold less interest than Steve Gaynor presents: Gone Home: Game of the Decade edition.

Somebody could improve or ruin upon your work. Somebody could absolutely make a new version of Gone Home that will make people forget your version. This is less likely if Gone Home is still hot enough to be selling in two decades, but it certainly happened to Corman's Little Shop of Horror. While most of us know the the musical movie with Rick Moranis, it was once a black and white horror comedy made and never re-registered. They took something from the past and said "let's give this another angle."

On the other hand somebody could just make the a worster version of gome home. Somebody could make Gone Home into the exact opposite of what you intended.

While this could potentially make you sad, it would not (and should not) stop you from producing your own remake, sequel, or reboot of Gone Home.

Roger Corman did not crawl into a hole and die because his ideas where profiting other people and neither did Romero after his zombie movie went public domain, which, I don't need to tell you has resulted in plenty of people utilizing zombies in their work. Romero still works today. Corman still works today. Steve Gaynor can continue to work today.

 

You also point out that the industry itself needs this. That the people who pay for making a game would need the sales from the old game to fuel their publishing of new games. If we take that income from them by allowing ANYONE to make their own version, well, that's just bad for the industry.

 

Games are indeed an investment, and nobody invests hoping that their product will be feeding people decades after their death. If that seems exaggerated, well this is current copyright law.  Life of the Author(that would be you) plus 75, and years for corporate owned works(i.e. The Fullbright Company owns the right to Gone Home, regardless of if Steve Gaynor is alive or part of it or if Disney buys it)  

 

Vidoeogames are far too recent to be part of the public domain. The entirety of the medium is enshrouded in copyright laws designed to achieve maximum profits for IP owners, and minimum wiggle room for those wanting to use those without paying.  Many works are already being lost to this law, and I expect  the effect would be doubly harsh on the medium, if not for our ability and knack to duplicate the works ourselves.

 

 

 

In 20 years Gone Home will still be under copyright. The Fullbright Company will still be able to duplicate and resell it at a whim, or not, if it still owns it(and regardless of Steve Gaynor). Maybe it doesn't. In 20 years Gone Home could be a curiosity from this decade. Something we talk about infrequently, rather than revisit constantly. Maybe it's become like Ninja Baseball Batman, something you literally can't play unless you break the law. Maybe, like the Valis series and other games from  the defunct Telnet, it'll be something we talk about someday selling, rather than something we can actually play legally.

 

It would be sad for future generations NOT to be able to enjoy Gone Home because of some odd expectations of continual profit from the works of 2 decades ago, which, I may add, are not necessarily invalidated by someone else making their own Gone Home. But the law has spoken, and copyright hoarding is, apparently, good for creativity, besides being  good for the business. Mind you, I'm sure the business would appreciate other people's works being available to re-sell, reuse, and remix, and characters to rework.

 

Look at movies. As much as certain firms(Disney, most of all) have pushed for copyright to last until the heat death of the universe, they don't mind that they can use zombies, Dracula, the Frankenstein Monster, and the Hunchback of Notre Dam. They don't mind that anyone can make a movie about Noah, Jesus, The Little Mermaid, Snow White(Disney, most of all). "Now owning the work wholesale" is not equal to "Not being able t, haha)to profit from it." In fact, a games distribution/development company like the Fullbright company  if game characters and concepts  and games had lapsed into the public domain, would themselves be able to work off other people's ideas.

 

 

 It would be indeed rare and special if Gone Home is still profitable in itself after 20 years as a stand alone product. But realistically most works aren't even profitable within the first DECADE of their existence.  Is it a fair trade that the majority of works that won't be profitable  should stay behind a lawsuit shaped wall of fear, just so the few products that are profitable can enjoy the continual legal protection?

 

So you say game companies having exclusive rights to resell their own work  will "encourage them" to make NEW product, based on the profits from old games? Won't that just encourage them to drag out their old games constantly? I mean, Capcom's profits from Street Fighter 2 on XBLA aren't telling Capcom to make Darkstalkers 4, or even (New Franchise). They are telling Capcom selling Street Fighter 2 is good, and they should do it on every new console, Phone, Tablet and anything else. Videogames are not "bands", and game publishers aren't looking for "fresh new talent".

 

So yes, I disagree with you on this, but, alas, to your fortune, copyright already lasts as much as 175 years, if the author where to die 100 years old. That's almost the whole of time America has existed. Corporate works at least have copyright for 95 years. That's what, half the time America has existed?

 

If copyright had always been like this , Oliver Twist would still be under copyright.  Sherlock Holmes would still be under copyright,  and basically most of the works in American History would only a few decades ago begin trickling into the public domain. But maybe publishers could use the windfall of those profits from works 150 years old to publish new, unproven writers, huh?

 

So I disagree, obviously. I think that copyright is doing to games the opposite of what it was expected it would do to the "sciences and the useful arts" in the constitution. But that's not your fault, Steve Gaynor. I am, though, trying to get more people to know about the perils of excessive copyright. In this sense, I thank you, for bringing this topic to light, so that we may discuss it.

 

 

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Post-post 9-11

It's been 13 years since the towers fell. I'm sure most of you have been made aware of this. If not, well, I think we are under orders to never forget.

I was 16 at the time, essentially the middle of my life  up to this point. I remember where I was. But I also remember other  things from that year. I remember a Britney Spears interview from Summer where she spoke of how great a year it had been. We'd all gotten over our fear the Y2k bug/The Great King of Terror would end civilization. I felt well on my way to one of those optimist futures where food comes in pills and cars fly.

I also remember a discarded magazine from the library. It was Time, from before 2000. It wrote of the things we feared might happen in The millennial new year.  Sure enough, Bin Laden's face was in there.

I wish those of you born after 2001  could see what I'm talking about. I don't want to let nostalgia grab hold, because I was fairly young, but in all my pre 9-11 life the major wars America was involved where nothing compared to Iraq and Afghanistan. The idea of carrying water or a Hockey stick into a plane was not something we had to watch out for. We had terrorism! But we kind of kept living.

We didn't just continue living in the Post 9-11 world. Not by a long shot. We decided whatever kept us safe, or felt like it would, was justifiable. The  2,977 that died on 9-11 are now joined by 6,717 that died in the War on Terror(I don't know if it's a succesful revenge to lose twice the people you are avenging), a conflict against the general idea of terrorism.  Said terrorism in this case took the shape of two sovereign countries who ended up  costing us 1.5 trillion dollars(so far) and being a detour from defeating the specific group that specifically Attacked America.

We sewed mistrust, and reaped it. After a few years of  war on terror, disillusion was born. Many, tired of the lies of the Government, turned abroad for their lies. Many fell in with conspiracy theorists. Yet many stuck fanatically fast to the government.  Much division ensued.

We did not rebuild the towers. We built a Museum to remind ourselves we once had towers. It's a poor choice if you ask me.

So am I saying everything used to be better? Absolutely not. This era is beautiful. Our phones used to only be useful for calling. And naked Batgirl drawings where a hassle to get.

But we're also still living in a Post 9-11 mentality. We're still looking over our shoulders. We're still thinking maybe we can stop 9-11 II if we let NSA spy on Americans, and hurt anyone we even suspect is a terrorist.

But this year, President Obama finally called used the T word instead of euphemising . It gives me hope, that maybe we're ready to move into a Post-post 9-11 mentality. A world where  we can live without feeling our choices are. getting  blown up by Dessert People or getting touched in the junk at the airport. A world where we don't have to roll our eyes when we talk about Freedom. A world where we're not at war anymore.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a Post-Post 9-11 world. Any old country can suffer a terrorist attack. It takes a truly great country to come out stronger.

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Dead Horse Attack! Attack of the Clones

"We've got some leftovers. Reheat this and put on some 3D to mask the flavor".

Sure enough, everything’s coming up Star Wars  for the foreseeable future.  The New movies, along with the 3D-fied  re-releases that got canceled the fuck out because Disney don't play nice with competitors and now writing this seems a smidge more pointless but it's already written, are gonna have us quoting Yoda until our tongues bleed.

In the 3D pipeline next comes along the less maligned  Attack of the Clones. With it’s reduced kid actor factor and  Jar Jar’s presence lessened,  and being  sandwiched between the overhyped  Ep I and the hilarious finale, I think this movie is far too ignored when it comes to the prequels. And with good reason. While the other 2 movies produced some iconography to go  along with their dubious achievements  , Attack of the Clones does not generate anything in the way of memorable, iconic moments.

On a personal note, this is the only Star Wars movie I own. It was sort of an impulse shopping choice. I already knew I wasn't impressed by it, but it was cheap and Star Wars. I've never even seen it fully, and that only ever happened with a select few DVD's of mine, including Ghost in the Shell Reborenning and some Civil War movie with zombies. I at least tried to watch the Civil War zombies movie before it became gay(no offense, gay people. I was already branching out of my element with Zombies and Civil War before the gayness. 2 elements I don't care about is fine, 3 is stretching.)

What I’m saying is that Attack of the Clones is the worst Star Wars movie of all time, discounting the Ewok spinoff’s and Clone Wars CG movie(mostly because I didn’t see them).Here’s my reasons why.

George Lucas is a creepy, creepy man

"Not like sand at all..."

The movie is notorious for it’s romantic subplot. If anything happens in here, it’s set up of how every single thing that happens in Star Wars ever is all because of a dame. And killing children, avenging a mother and having more power. But most of all because of a dame.

Regardless how charming you think sand is, you have to remember that when Anakin met Queen Padme, he was a mere, doomed child. After Naboo, they did not meet until years later, when he’s ben inducted into the Jedi order and she’s been downgraded from Queen to Senator (I don’t think Lucas understands how Monarchy works.) Once he meets  her again, they’re all in love and stuff.

I guess what I’m saying is that old G.L. meant for Anakin a young boy who grew up in poverty, to have fallen in love with Parme, a fully grown woman  of royal blood since the moment they met. There's precedent and everything.  I’d spare you the thought of  Jake Lloyd wacking off to holocrons of Padmen’s senatorial hearings…but I hate you.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s wrong for people to fall in love with people they met as kids, or for people to fall in love despite large age differences(let’s face it, even dramatically, the least age difference between Padme and Anakin is 7 years). But it’s strongly implied that they fell in love when they first met. That this movie confirms that “are you an angel?” is a pick up line is just plain wrong.

Villains are miss or miss

"It's a stupid plan, alright? Hopefully we'll leave this franchise and get paid before we get decapitated."

Episode I killed the one thing everyone agreed was good about it: Marauding, scary-face-painted Darth Maul. For what it’s worth he was genuinely  well executed, missing only some character. They set up the threat, had him chase the good guys, showed his menace by having him kill a good guy, and then he died.

So EpII had at least the one good thing to live up to. It’s villains where Jango Fett and Count Dooku. Let’s break it down.

Jango is the father of Bobba Fett, who is not important at all in any movies. But as both a merchandisable entity and a callback to older films, I get it. Sure, where Bobba Fett came from before  dying like crap is important. Whatev.

Thing is, Jango, who sets up events by trying to kill Padme for some reason, is not a good emerging batter for Maul.Where Maul  offered constant menace , Jango is not an active danger. Where Maul upped the Ante  for Star Wars combat, Jango’s high point is that space chase, which was marred with with the whole “take your kid to kill Jedi” thing.

As  much as Maul was a wasted opportunity for Obi Wan to fight later, Jango is a complete waste. He’s after Anakin’s girl, (and this is sort of his love story) and yet there’s no sense that Anakin cares about getting that guy. Or Obi Wan might want a rematch for his beat down at Kamino. But that doesn’t happen. Hell, If Padme killed Jango, if might have given her a little edge. But instead, Samuel L Jackson in a robe kills him. The guy who precipitated all the films events just gets offed casually by  a character who doesn’t do much else. Hurray?

But I guess Jango is just the warming act to the film’s real villain: Count Dooku. Dooku is, no joke, the least impressive Star Wars villain ever.

There are several factors that make a good villain. One is menace. Darth Vader had this. Vader was shown to be a menace early on, and powerfull enough to command the loyalty of his troops. Count Dooku is first mentions along the lines of “no way is this guy evil!” And that’s at nearly half the movie!

Right before our climax we meet our dreaded…um…political idealist. An old bearded man played by Christopher Lee(well, you could have implied the former from the latter). I hope no one takes me for a hater: I like Christopher Lee. It’s just the fact that the other factor Star Wars villains is otherworldly appearances.  Guys like Jabba, Mail, and Vader have  outlandish physical  designs, which help boost the fact they are the bad guys. Dooku is Christopher Lee’s head on a stuntman, in an attempt to be “hip” with the kids that where all into Lord of the Rings.

I guess if Dooku had a motivation, it could  offset the plainness. But he’s a political idealist(and a former Jedi, because apparently you CAN just up and quit) for something we won’t see.  Maybe he’s against gay marriage, or maybe he wants to to clear away the corruption of the Senate…by establishing a clearly evil dictator in place. You’d think after all the political bullcrap they put in the movies, they’d at least make this more clear.

The movie is the least essential to the others

"Something's going on down there. Even if I wasn't a Clone I still don't think I'd know what."

You could make the case the prequels where wholly unnecessary as expansionary devices to the Star Wars mythology. Indeed, the backstories of characters like C3PO and BobbaFett are unrequired at best, and what it does to Yoda, Anakin, and Obi Wan is not much of an addition.

But in truth, they do set up up the main conflict  and characters from the OT. But do you need to watch Attack of the Clones for that?

See, Episode I is the set up to the whole scene, but it’s mostly it’s own movie. It Establishes the bad guys, the good guys, and the mysterious mystery of the Sith. II and III are more of a tandem. But what does II set up? Well, romance and a few injuries. At the end of I they where at war with robots, and by the start of Ep III they’re at war with robots. That an unconcluded conflict was started on an unconcluded battle is not necessary knowledge. You could arguably skip II and skip straight to III, and not be missing much.

In dramatic terms, the selling point of Anakin’s descent into the dark side is very mishandled. Besides having to regress his characterization later in III, the whole thing where he avenges his mother by slaying a whole city worth of people is  treated like a misdemeanor, and plays no part into how and why he becomes Vader. When you can fit a whole TV show between movies, perhaps there was no need for a movie.

But maybe it’s a trouble with  middling chapters to preset trilogies. Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribean 2…a filler episode might fly on TV, but not as a movie.

The movie is most dependent on the others

Obiwan's gonna pick Cable and Magneto for the Umpteenth time!

If you haven’t seen any other Star Wars film ever, or the millions of hours spent discussing their story, cultural impact, or characters, the second part of the second trilogy is a bad place to start.

It starts of with someone being targeted for murder for no reason. There’s two people who have met before, and are sort of in love. There’s a Lizard man who wants revenge against  a senator.  And Christopher Lee has a hologram of a ball.

Trying to shoehorn as much OT iconography and backstories hurts this movie like no other. When Dooku casually checks out  the plans of the Death Star, it assumes somebody asked where the Death Star was designed, and hopes they aren’t disappointed the answer is “some bug guy's planet you ain’t ever heard of ”.

Basically in it’s entire running nothing happens that isn’t set up by the prequel, or meaningful without the OT and just as something threatens to happen it ends. For what happened, tune in to Clone Wars, on Cartoon Network!Or don't. It's cancelled!

Everything is disappointing

The Bar was set pretty low after Episode I became a running joke. You’d think by curtailing the excesses and working on the  script more, the movie could have been at least closer to the originals in spirit.

But that is not the way of the Lucas. Rather than focus on the franchise's strengths, it tries things that where never a part of it such as investigation, and romance. And I would commend the innovation (and continued influence on the Prequels of movies like The Matrix, Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon,  and Gladiator) if it had been well weaved into the mold(I lost track of the metaphor, I think). But I don’t think in the future people will look fondly on the scene where Anakin rides the space cow in a montage, or when a kid explains to Obi Wan how someone probably did something on purpose.

And no, no curtailing excesses, here. Throw everything in, boys! Yoda fighting, a giant arena battle with monsters, C3PO in a crazy conveyor belt. This is all in the last half hour of the movie, and I left out stuff!

14 Year old me loved Episode I. 17 year old me felt no hype for Attack. And once it was shown to me, I felt extremely underwhelmed, and I didn’t even have expectations for it. Every other Star Wars film leaves you with something. This one just leaves you.

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Swing and a miss! Tim Burton's Batmovies

Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow...

 It's about time we talked about Batman. I know this subject is  a fringe one and a taboo in the Internet, but we must break social boundaries of how acceptable it is to talk about Batman.

Dark Knight Rises is probably on it's way out of theaters( and I was entirely unable to catch it.) The end of the Nolan era for Batman, the innevitable reboot nipping at it's heels,  and the seeming endless ways Warner Brother can't get too far into it's Superheroes withouth returning to Batman are all the talk of the town.

Nestled between this conversations is a subtle discussion of Tim Burton's  two Batman films, and their underlying qualities. It tends to divide the geek populace into  two schools of thinking.

"Holy Crap, is your breath fresh!"

A) This movies are good, they opened the way for Superhero movies now, and are a reasonably good adaptation of the Batman mythos in a darker way than the old Adam West show.

B)This movies are bad, nothing like Batman, and are the inspiration for badly adapting Superheroes to the silver screen.

The only one who  likes this pairing is the guy on the left.

Not everyone holds this combination of opinions, but it's mostly what you'll find.

I could tell you that when I saw them I was very young. My dad dragged home a big old TV with awkward  microwave buttons so we could watch the Batman 89 movie before heading to one of my first remembered cinema goings(along with Pewee's Big Adventure. It's not my fault I'm a Burton enthusiast!) to Batman Returns.

While my little kid mind had to register a lot(and return from the lobby confused as to why Batman let  Catwoman lick his face.) of weirdness, I never the less considered it a great movie, and put it alongside Robocop, and Predator and Airplane as the best movies in the world.

But let's not make this about just me, or about the movies. The movies are qualified as being unnacurate to the books by many. And I sort of agree. But so what?

So what if Batman's "no killing code" gets switched to a "lot of times killing code?" So what if the films are rooted in impressionism rather than...whatever stylistic choice you're supposed to have for Batman. So what if the background of the character is changed and the origin, and it's not as dark as anything.



Let me tell you something. When Batman Returns was abuzz in the cinemas, my parents could afford 1 movie IN THE YEAR. The rest was black and white T.V.  And what did my local T.V. channels do as a response? EVERYTHING! They scrambled to run whatever Superhero show and movie they could, as long as we would watch. They Ran the Flash T.V. series and the old 70s Wonder Woman series. They Ran The Incredible Hulk. They ran Ultraman and I could swear they ran Kakero Spider-Man. They ran the Swamp Thing movie and they ran the TV show as well. They fucking ran the Adam West show.

Try harder, internet! I was mocking this before it was cool!

So, back to young me. I began absorbing. I did not know who Flash was in the comics if the movie was good. But I liked Flash. I liked Wonder Woman.  I liked the Adam West show.

Regardless of what the direct influence of Burton's movies, the indirect influence in my case was that a lot of  superhero elements where brought before me, which was good, because I could not even know where comics where sold, and when I saw them on the supermarket, coud not afford them(or my parents would not buy, because Batman looked like this, and had to perform surgery in a sewer on a baby. No, I could not forget that if I tried.).  My understanding of the superheroes would not expand much beyond what TV told me until the year 2000, where I discovered that internet people  would spend their time detailing the fictional life of Storm and Marrow.

What I'm saying is that Burtman(haha!) may be Batman in name only in a way. It may be campier than what we think. It might not fit our nerdy standards of today, where we sit down and pick aparts  which parts of Avengers are 616, which are Ultimate, and which are invented wholesale for the movie. The movies might only be enjoyable to me because I grew up with them. But they shaped me into the sexless, sociopathic nerd that writes too much about Tim Burton's wife I am today.

(Wait, is that a good thing?)

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Skullgirl-Gate: my take

In case it is too long and you falied to read.

I know this is overly late, but this being Fighting Female July, I want to write about the controversy regarding weirdo fighter Skullgirls.



See, apparently, someone accused the maker of the female centric head-to-head fighting game of making a sexist game. What, on account of all the cleavage, and pantyshots, and how none of the alumni look like Jaime Lee Curtis at all. And his attempts at sort of defending his design aesthetic, which include that a woman designed them and that no women have shown disapproval, have earned him no amount of credit.



My first thought is that I guess it's true that the rope always breaks through the thinnest part. Think of all the fighting game series that have any importance today. Are they equally sexist, more sexist, or less sexist? Is any of them free of thongs, bikinis, panty shots, bouncy mammary globes, etc? I think if any (popular, mainstream) series today can block against the accusation of exploiting the female form it's maybe Virtua Fighter.



I mean, it's easy to come in now, after the millions of pages dedicated to naked Cammy we've made, millions of Ryona Seung Mina videos, after we've made the Dead or Alive series thrive on mostly sex appeal to the point where they made a game that was just girls lounging on the beach, now that fighting games are building on other fighting games that are built on other fighitng games, to try and decide that women in fighting games should be fully dressed and tactful just for this one new game/potential franchise. What! Panty-shots? The (out)RAGE!







Compare these two characters' popularity as relative to the importance of the games they where in.


But I guess nobody wants to show up to Project Soul and be the guy who says maybe Ivy and Taki's breasts should stop growing at some point. Nobody wants to go to Ono-San and say that they are bothered by a nymphomaniac fighter. Nobody wants to say that a woman taking off her top after a fight is pandering. Suddenly, when it's an independent title whose creator speaks English, we care. Will somebody think of the children?



Thing is, nobody fucking cares. Nobody gives any props to Virtual Fighter for not having panty-shots, bouncing breasts and exaggerated cleavage or things like that. Nobody cared when Mortal Kombat or Soul Calibur added fully clothed women after many years of skimpiness(and in SCs case, after 3 lolis. 3!). When someone finally steps in and asks if one game is sexist, we all jump in and try to decide if that game is sexist, and we don't stop to think if we've let the whole industry become sexist. We become bothered by what we have been supporting.



Though the Soul series gets no props for having a naked man in all of it's games, either.






And yes, that is "we" as in "us". The games-buying crowd "us".



If you get asked if making a product with scantily clad women is sexist, I guess there isn't a right answer. If you say that nobody's complained, they say you should have thought about it. If you say women worked on it, they get even more offended. If you say you just want to make some money, they say you are exploiting women for profit. What do you fuckers want to hear? "Oh, I'm sorry that my game could be perceived as sexist. I'll cancel it right away, good sir!"



The truth is, creative design doesn't happen in a vacuum and Skullgirl's influences are as obvious as anything. Skullgirls could be that game where old angry lesbians and morbidly obese working women fight. And while that wouldn't be bad for the industry, that wouldn't negate that someone made another game in which sexy caricatures of women fight each other. Some of us do enjoy the female form. Maybe if I call it a sexual preference, you have to tolerate it, huh?

Make it look like this.

You aren't gonna get a fighting game that's not sexist by berating games that are sexist. You are gonna have to make it. That's just the truth. Not to prove anything, though. If you can even get it halfway done , you're already better than me. If you can get it to sell in today's crowded market, you're some kind of deity. Get the funding and get it made. Then come back here so I can tell you that it's racist. Ha.

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DC's Plain Ketchup

Dollar! The ALL-MIGHTY!

I hate to say I told you so. Wait, no. Love. I love to say it.

So, my good DC fans, I told you so. We debated for 5 years whether a Justice League film was better if built up by individual movies. Sure, the matter is mostly out of our controls. But did not a wiseman say all is in vain?

You guys said a Justice League movie bombing could kill the chances of solo films. So how did that go? Did you enjoy your Jonah Hex and Green Lantern solo films not leading into a single film? Where the theoretical solo films in jeopardy if it bombed? You know the answer to this one.

I told you so. I told if anything had a chance at existance at Dc it was a single strong solo film. I told you if the movies had not existed yet, it was reasonable not to expect them in the future.

Now WB  has suddenly stumbled out of bed, slobber rolling out the mouth.  "Whu..., a Billion dollars? I NEVER expected a well done and marketed movie with popular characters to make money! Do we have some of those characters?"

Oh, please pretend this recent slew of announcements isnt related to Marvel and Joss Whedons excellent Avengers. It's something that they started writting a while ago, they say. THING IS, at this point after the initial cancellation of Justice League : Mortal, there have been so many movies in writting phase its obvious it isnt a problem with capacity, but desire. WB doesn't need to have it's own Avengers. Did the Dark Knight not make them  a bunchload of cash?

I knew this baby would come in handy someday.

You guys got what you wanted, but lost what you had.I did tell you so.

So WB is calling me toos. Hell, I wanted to cash in on Avengers too. Whats the plan? Well, they'll fast track a movie with Lobo starring the The Rock. Then Shazam, also starring The Rock probably. That one won't happen.

At least we'll always have the rage...(snif)

A Wonder Woman movie script will join the pile. Flash might get made. Then Avengers 2 will come out, and once again industrial amounts of wishful thinking will fall out of WB regarding Justice League. And we get to do this all over again.

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Naming Conventions that really piss me off and how i beat them.

Even in an age where iconic imagery and hi def trailers are easilly accessible, what your project is called is still important. Sometimes the difference between "they click on it" or "they pass on it" is just whether the name they just read catches their attention or not.



People sometimes spend a big deal of mental energy coming up with just the right title that will just vibe with the audience. However, sometimes the conclusions upon which they arrive just make me angry. Those would be...

Unnecessary subtitle

Hey, congratulations! You just got the rights to this weird little fiction, and now you get to make a movie about it. You know, they haven't ever made an American movie about this, and it's got a pretty good fanbase. However, the name, it's a little strange. Fans that know will know, but other people, they might be confused about it. That's when you put in a subtitle. If you're good at it, it'll describe the plot somewhat. If not, it'll make no sense.



Key Examples:

Dragonball Evolution

You know, just because you put a generic non-descriptor doesn't mean that people who don't know Dragonball won't be confused. Evolution might have been a nice name, you know, for a sequel in which someone or something actually evolved, whether in a symbolic way or in a literal way, not for the beginning where the story was just starting. In truth, if DB: E hadn't been a total failure, it might have been set with names for the future sequels. At least when people want to refer to it as a pox on their franchise, they won't have to come up with creative naming.



Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Okay...The Fallen is one of the least impressive, least important robots in all of the Transformers movie-verse and rather obscure in the comics. If you really think people where lining up to see what his revenge was gonna be like(or about) then you sorely misunderstand. Goddamit, whatever happened to numbered sequels?

Overly Flowery subtitle

Hey, good news! You get to make a remake(or otherwise readapt) a movie! You know, we're taking a different approach from last time. We should probably kind of put a different title in there, just to differentiate the two. Sure, it's unlikely people will confuse a movie from 1993 with a movie from 20XX, but who knows? Make it exciting!



Key Examples:

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li.



You know, not every story can be a legend. And if I where going to call adaptations of games Legends, I sure wouldn't start with the most minimalist approach possible to the franchise that has a caveman from Brazil fighting a fire breathing Indian. Sure, you WANT people to know this is a movie about Chun Li, just in case it's a hit and you get to make other, not Chun Li centric movies. Personally, I think Chun Li: Street Fighter would have been fine.



G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra



If you know anything about G.I.Joe, one of the key elements everyone knows is that they pretty much have one key enemy: Cobra. Advertising that G.I.Joe will be fighting Cobra is like advertising Superman will be wearing a cape in the next movie. However, this movie is about the RISE of Cobra, which is funny, because Cobra is essentially not really in this movie. I mean, it becomes Cobra just in time for most of it's operatives to be aprehended or killed. Sure, one of them is very well set, but it's not exactly Cobra’s rise to notiriety. Plus...did nobody thing of the sexual connotations of "The Rise of Cobra"?



Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The FUCK? Are you fucking kidding me? Are we gonna pretend this movies are too good for numbers? Transformer 3. There, that's your title. But no, no. The Dark of the Moon. Ooooh, that's deeep. This isn't a fucking poetry book, people. At least, I haven't heard of any poetry books where Asians pull dual pistols on robot dinosaurs.

The Mash

In attempting to put several naming conventions into this name, you made a mockery of a title. Sorry.



Legend of the Guardians: Owls of G'a Hoole.



At some point, someone that cared accidentally put the most generic fantasy title on this Owl centric medieval fantasy movie. Later, execs probably stepped in, and realized they didn't want the movie to sound like one of them floundering online games that aren't selling as good as World of Warcraft. Plus, you want people to know this is about Owls. So, they subtitled it Owls of G'a Hoole. This isn't you father's owls. No, this Owls is straight outta G'a Hoole, motherfucker!



In the mind, it reads like this: (Kind of adventurey thing): (with owls?) (From Vomit sound)



Seeker: The Dark is Rising



Who, me? Oh, no, I'm not a seeker. However, it is good to know the dark is rising. I'm gonna try to get Harry Potter on the phone, maybe he can put a damper on it. No, please: If the dark is really rising, we need to have the real article.



Rise of the Planet of the Apes:

Executive cold feet at it's best. This movie used to be called Rise of the Apes. It didn't need to tell you what franchise it was the (dubious, presumed) start of. But I guess they got real scared. "We need to put "Planet" in there" must have yelled one. "Apes are in the public domain!" and so they stuck the term planet in there. Not only are there now two "of the"s, but the title seems to imply it is the planet that will rise.



Final Fantasy



I'm sorry, but...this is getting kind of stupid. First you got the Roman Numeral thing going on. That's cool. Then you start doing Arabic numeral spinoffs of games in the series. OKAY. Then you add Online Games to the Roman Numeral Adaptations because you can't be bothered to make a simple spinoff series like with Tactics. By the time Final Fantasy Versus IIIX existed I realized you where just fucking with people.



Hey, I think I could make a generator now! It’s easy. Just paste the following into the writing software of your choice:



(x) character (y) secondary character (Z) element (l)location (G) gender (fr): Franchise (

(fr): (g) of action


(fr): A (g) and his (Z)


(fr): Flight of (z)


(fr): The Secret (z)


(fr): Revolutionary (G) (X)


(fr): (G) of (l)


(fr): Adventures in (l)


(fr): Adventures of (x)


(fr): (z) Syndrome


(fr): The (z) Protocol


(fr): (Z) Fury


(fr): (Z) Dream


(fr): Rise of (x)


(fr): (l) Rising


(fr): Revenge of (x)


(fr): Return of (x)


(fr): Escape from (l)


(fr): (x) Returns


(fr): (x) Begins


(fr): (X)'s (Z)


(fr): (X) vs (Y)


(fr): (Z) of (l)


(fr): The (z) King


(fr): Tales of (l)


(fr): (x)'s World


(fr): (z) World


(fr): Attack of the (Z)


(fr): Back to (l)


(fr): Return to (l)


(fr): Evolution


(fr): Rise of (x)


(fr): Legend of (x)


(fr): Death of (x)


(fr): The Fall of (Z)


(fr): (Z) Falls


(fr): (x) Forever


(fr): Death and Return of (x)


(fr): (x) Goes to (l)


(fr): The Treasure of (l)


(fr): Apocalypse


(fr): Resurrection


(fr): 3D


(fr): (x) Rises


(fr): Codename (Z)


(fr): Lost in (l)


(fr): All Stars


(fr): (x) Strikes Back


(fr): The Movie


(fr): & (Y)


(fr): (Z) Of Blood


(fr): (Z) of Fear


(fr): (x)'s Odyssey


(fr): Shadow of (Z)


(fr): (x) and his (Z)


(fr): The Battle of (l)


(fr): Roar of (x)


(fr): Conquest of (l)


(fr): (x) Lives!


(fr): (Z) Rage


(fr): The (Z) Wars


(fr): War of (Z)


(fr): (Z) Soldier


(fr): (x) in (z) (l)


(fr): Revolution


(fr): 2: Electric Boogaloo


(fr): Homologation Special


(fr): (x)'s Lair


(fr): Destruction of (l)


(fr): Misadventures of (x)


(fr): (Z) of Dreams


(fr): The Return


(fr): Reloaded


(fr): Defender of (l)


(fr): Hunt for (Y)'s Gold


(fr): (Z) Hunter


(fr): (Z) Hunter (Y)


(fr): Hunt for (Z)


(fr): The First (Z)


(fr): (x) does (location)


(fr): The Last (Z)


(fr): (z) Force


(fr): The New (Z)


(fr): The Revenge


(fr): The Sacred (Z)


(fr): The Golden (Z)


(fr): The (l) Heist


(fr): (Z) Strike


(fr): Medicine Woman


(fr): (X) The Adventurer


(fr): (Z) Quest


(fr): (x)'s Quest


(fr): (x)'s Curse


(fr): Curse of (x)


(fr): (Z) of Blood


(fr): The Next Generation


(fr): Generation


(fr): Mystery of (Z)


(fr): Story of (X)


(fr): Bloodlines


(fr): Die, (x) Die!


(fr): (G) under Fire


(fr): (Z) Patrol


(fr): (Z) Star


(fr): (x)'s Day Out


(fr): (x) Jr.


(fr): Brothers in (Z)


(fr): (Z) Apocalypse


(fr): (x)'s Caper


(fr): (x)'s Revenge


(fr): Land of (Z)


(fr): (X)'s Rage


(fr): (X) meets (Y)


(fr): King of (Z)


(fr): The Motion Picture


(fr): Ghost of (x)


(fr): (Z) Crusade


(fr): The (Z) Master


(fr): (g) Against the World


(fr): (x) and the (z)


(fr): (x)'s (z) Adventure


(fr): Mythologies


(fr): (z) Alliance


(fr): Deception


(fr): Armageddon


(fr): (x) Origins


(fr): Bride of (x)


(fr): Project (Z)


(fr): (x) Hero


(fr): Age of (Z)


(fr): Nightmare on (l)


(fr): Siege of (l)


(fr): Dead (Z)


(fr): (Z) in Time


(fr): (Z) Attack


(fr): Princess (x) in (l)


(fr): Princess (x) in (Z) Kingdom


(fr): Journey to (l)


(fr): Raid on (l)


(fr): Raid of (l)


(fr): (x) 2014


(fr): (x) 2050


(fr): (x) 2099


(fr): Revelations


(fr): Road to (l)


(fr): The (Z) that Eats People


(fr): Journey to (l)


(fr): Year 1


(fr): Challenge of (x)


(fr): Wrath of (X)


(fr): (z) Of Death


(fr): Starring (X)


(fr): Day of Reckoning


(fr): (z) Evolved


(fr): (z) Master


(fr): (x) is Missing


(fr): (z) Nights


(fr): (z) United


(fr): The Search for (x)


(fr): The (x) Warriors


(fr): The Path of (x)


(fr): Clash of (z)


(fr): Deadly (z)


(fr): Extreme (z)


(fr): Xtreme(z)


(fr): (X) Beyond


(fr): (x) Legends


(fr): (z ) Rescue


(fr): Seeds of (X)


(fr): The (x) Factor


(fr): The Lost (X)


(fr): (Z) Adventures


(fr): Chronicles


(fr): Chronicles of (X)


(fr): Chronicles of (z)


(fr): King of (l)


(fr): Unleashed


(fr): Perchance to (z)


(fr): The (l) of the (Z)


(fr): (z) Chaos


(fr): The (z) is Rising


(fr): (Z) Impact


(fr): (z) of Doom


(fr): Mark of (z)


(fr): Mark of (x)






(fr): The (Z) Within


(fr): (x) (G)


(fr): (x) of War


(fr): Ultimate (z)


(fr): Lethal (z)










Then, using the replace all options replace fr): for the Franchise of choice(put a colon in there as well) (x) for the lead character (y) for a secondary character (Z) for an element of the franchise (l) for a location (G) for gender(Man, Boy, Girl Woman).



For example, let’s try Dead or Alive. Replace all fr): for Dead or Alive as such:

Using the same method replace (x) for Kasumi, (y) for Ayane, (Z) for boobs (l) for Ass Mountain and (G) for Girl. It should look like this.



Dead or Alive: Girl of action


Dead or Alive: A Girl and his Boobs


Dead or Alive: Flight of Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Secret Boobs


Dead or Alive: Revolutionary Girl Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Girl of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Adventures in Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Adventures of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Syndrome


Dead or Alive: The Boobs Protocol


Dead or Alive: Boobs Fury


Dead or Alive: Boobs Dream


Dead or Alive: Rise of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Ass Mountain Rising


Dead or Alive: Revenge of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Return of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Escape from Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Returns


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Begins


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi vs Ayane


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: The Boobs King


Dead or Alive: Tales of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's World


Dead or Alive: Boobs World


Dead or Alive: Attack of the Boobs


Dead or Alive: Back to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Return to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Evolution


Dead or Alive: Rise of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Legend of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Death of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: The Fall of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Falls


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Forever


Dead or Alive: Death and Return of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Goes to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: The Treasure of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Apocalypse


Dead or Alive: Resurrection


Dead or Alive: 3D


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Rises


Dead or Alive: Codename Boobs


Dead or Alive: Lost in Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: All Stars


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Strikes Back


Dead or Alive: The Movie


Dead or Alive: & Ayane


Dead or Alive: Boobs Of Blood


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Fear


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Odyssey


Dead or Alive: Shadow of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi and his Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Battle of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Roar of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Conquest of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Lives!


Dead or Alive: Boobs Rage


Dead or Alive: The Boobs Wars


Dead or Alive: War of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Soldier


Dead or Alive: Kasumi in Boobs Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Revolution


Dead or Alive: 2: Electric Boogaloo


Dead or Alive: Homologation Special


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Lair


Dead or Alive: Destruction of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Misadventures of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Dreams


Dead or Alive: The Return


Dead or Alive: Reloaded


Dead or Alive: Defender of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Hunt for Ayane's Gold


Dead or Alive: Boobs Hunter


Dead or Alive: Boobs Hunter Ayane


Dead or Alive: Hunt for Boobs


Dead or Alive: The First Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi does (location)


Dead or Alive: The Last Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Force


Dead or Alive: The New Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Revenge


Dead or Alive: The Sacred Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Golden Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Ass Mountain Heist


Dead or Alive: Boobs Strike


Dead or Alive: Medicine Woman


Dead or Alive: Kasumi The Adventurer


Dead or Alive: Boobs Quest


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Quest


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Curse


Dead or Alive: Curse of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Blood


Dead or Alive: The Next Generation


Dead or Alive: Generation


Dead or Alive: Mystery of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Story of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Bloodlines


Dead or Alive: Die, Kasumi Die!


Dead or Alive: Girl under Fire


Dead or Alive: Boobs Patrol


Dead or Alive: Boobs Star


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Day Out


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Jr.


Dead or Alive: Brothers in Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Apocalypse


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Caper


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Revenge


Dead or Alive: Land of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Rage


Dead or Alive: Kasumi meets Ayane


Dead or Alive: King of Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Motion Picture


Dead or Alive: Ghost of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Crusade


Dead or Alive: The Boobs Master


Dead or Alive: Girl Against the World


Dead or Alive: Kasumi and the Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Boobs Adventure


Dead or Alive: Mythologies


Dead or Alive: Boobs Alliance


Dead or Alive: Deception


Dead or Alive: Armageddon


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Origins


Dead or Alive: Bride of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Project Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Hero


Dead or Alive: Age of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Nightmare on Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Siege of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Dead Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs in Time


Dead or Alive: Boobs Attack


Dead or Alive: Princess Kasumi in Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Princess Kasumi in Boobs Kingdom


Dead or Alive: Journey to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Raid on Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Raid of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi 2014


Dead or Alive: Kasumi 2050


Dead or Alive: Kasumi 2099


Dead or Alive: Revelations


Dead or Alive: Road to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: The Boobs that Eats People


Dead or Alive: Journey to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Year 1


Dead or Alive: Challenge of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Wrath of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Of Death


Dead or Alive: Starring Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Day of Reckoning


Dead or Alive: Boobs Evolved


Dead or Alive: Boobs Master


Dead or Alive: Kasumi is Missing


Dead or Alive: Boobs Nights


Dead or Alive: Boobs United


Dead or Alive: The Search for Kasumi


Dead or Alive: The Kasumi Warriors


Dead or Alive: The Path of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Clash of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Deadly Boobs


Dead or Alive: Extreme Boobs


Dead or Alive: XtremeBoobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Beyond


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Legends


Dead or Alive: (z ) Rescue


Dead or Alive: Seeds of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: The Kasumi Factor


Dead or Alive: The Lost Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Adventures


Dead or Alive: Chronicles


Dead or Alive: Chronicles of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Chronicles of Boobs


Dead or Alive: King of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Unleashed


Dead or Alive: Perchance to Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Ass Mountain of the Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Chaos


Dead or Alive: The Boobs is Rising


Dead or Alive: Boobs Impact


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Doom


Dead or Alive: Mark of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Mark of Kasumi






Dead or Alive: The Boobs Within


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Girl


Dead or Alive: Kasumi of War


Dead or Alive: Ultimate Boobs


Dead or Alive: Lethal Boobs






See, now you don’t Have to make an uninspired name. You can just FIND one We’re done!



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