Saturday, May 5, 2012

Naming Conventions that really piss me off and how i beat them.





Even in an age where iconic imagery and hi def trailers are easilly accessible, what your project is called is still important. Sometimes the difference between "they click on it" or "they pass on it" is just whether the name they just read catches their attention or not.



People sometimes spend a big deal of mental energy coming up with just the right title that will just vibe with the audience. However, sometimes the conclusions upon which they arrive just make me angry. Those would be...



Unnecessary subtitle



Hey, congratulations! You just got the rights to this weird little fiction, and now you get to make a movie about it. You know, they haven't ever made an American movie about this, and it's got a pretty good fanbase. However, the name, it's a little strange. Fans that know will know, but other people, they might be confused about it. That's when you put in a subtitle. If you're good at it, it'll describe the plot somewhat. If not, it'll make no sense.



Key Examples:

Dragonball Evolution

You know, just because you put a generic non-descriptor doesn't mean that people who don't know Dragonball won't be confused. Evolution might have been a nice name, you know, for a sequel in which someone or something actually evolved, whether in a symbolic way or in a literal way, not for the beginning where the story was just starting. In truth, if DB: E hadn't been a total failure, it might have been set with names for the future sequels. At least when people want to refer to it as a pox on their franchise, they won't have to come up with creative naming.



Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Okay...The Fallen is one of the least impressive, least important robots in all of the Transformers movie-verse and rather obscure in the comics. If you really think people where lining up to see what his revenge was gonna be like(or about) then you sorely misunderstand. Goddamit, whatever happened to numbered sequels?



Overly Flowery subtitle



Hey, good news! You get to make a remake(or otherwise readapt) a movie! You know, we're taking a different approach from last time. We should probably kind of put a different title in there, just to differentiate the two. Sure, it's unlikely people will confuse a movie from 1993 with a movie from 20XX, but who knows? Make it exciting!



Key Examples:

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li.



You know, not every story can be a legend. And if I where going to call adaptations of games Legends, I sure wouldn't start with the most minimalist approach possible to the franchise that has a caveman from Brazil fighting a fire breathing Indian. Sure, you WANT people to know this is a movie about Chun Li, just in case it's a hit and you get to make other, not Chun Li centric movies. Personally, I think Chun Li: Street Fighter would have been fine.



G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra



If you know anything about G.I.Joe, one of the key elements everyone knows is that they pretty much have one key enemy: Cobra. Advertising that G.I.Joe will be fighting Cobra is like advertising Superman will be wearing a cape in the next movie. However, this movie is about the RISE of Cobra, which is funny, because Cobra is essentially not really in this movie. I mean, it becomes Cobra just in time for most of it's operatives to be aprehended or killed. Sure, one of them is very well set, but it's not exactly Cobra’s rise to notiriety. Plus...did nobody thing of the sexual connotations of "The Rise of Cobra"?



Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The FUCK? Are you fucking kidding me? Are we gonna pretend this movies are too good for numbers? Transformer 3. There, that's your title. But no, no. The Dark of the Moon. Ooooh, that's deeep. This isn't a fucking poetry book, people. At least, I haven't heard of any poetry books where Asians pull dual pistols on robot dinosaurs.



The Mash



In attempting to put several naming conventions into this name, you made a mockery of a title. Sorry.



Legend of the Guardians: Owls of G'a Hoole.



At some point, someone that cared accidentally put the most generic fantasy title on this Owl centric medieval fantasy movie. Later, execs probably stepped in, and realized they didn't want the movie to sound like one of them floundering online games that aren't selling as good as World of Warcraft. Plus, you want people to know this is about Owls. So, they subtitled it Owls of G'a Hoole. This isn't you father's owls. No, this Owls is straight outta G'a Hoole, motherfucker!



In the mind, it reads like this: (Kind of adventurey thing): (with owls?) (From Vomit sound)



Seeker: The Dark is Rising



Who, me? Oh, no, I'm not a seeker. However, it is good to know the dark is rising. I'm gonna try to get Harry Potter on the phone, maybe he can put a damper on it. No, please: If the dark is really rising, we need to have the real article.



Rise of the Planet of the Apes:

Executive cold feet at it's best. This movie used to be called Rise of the Apes. It didn't need to tell you what franchise it was the (dubious, presumed) start of. But I guess they got real scared. "We need to put "Planet" in there" must have yelled one. "Apes are in the public domain!" and so they stuck the term planet in there. Not only are there now two "of the"s, but the title seems to imply it is the planet that will rise.



Final Fantasy



I'm sorry, but...this is getting kind of stupid. First you got the Roman Numeral thing going on. That's cool. Then you start doing Arabic numeral spinoffs of games in the series. OKAY. Then you add Online Games to the Roman Numeral Adaptations because you can't be bothered to make a simple spinoff series like with Tactics. By the time Final Fantasy Versus IIIX existed I realized you where just fucking with people.



Hey, I think I could make a generator now! It’s easy. Just paste the following into the writing software of your choice:



(x) character (y) secondary character (Z) element (l)location (G) gender (fr): Franchise (

(fr): (g) of action


(fr): A (g) and his (Z)


(fr): Flight of (z)


(fr): The Secret (z)


(fr): Revolutionary (G) (X)


(fr): (G) of (l)


(fr): Adventures in (l)


(fr): Adventures of (x)


(fr): (z) Syndrome


(fr): The (z) Protocol


(fr): (Z) Fury


(fr): (Z) Dream


(fr): Rise of (x)


(fr): (l) Rising


(fr): Revenge of (x)


(fr): Return of (x)


(fr): Escape from (l)


(fr): (x) Returns


(fr): (x) Begins


(fr): (X)'s (Z)


(fr): (X) vs (Y)


(fr): (Z) of (l)


(fr): The (z) King


(fr): Tales of (l)


(fr): (x)'s World


(fr): (z) World


(fr): Attack of the (Z)


(fr): Back to (l)


(fr): Return to (l)


(fr): Evolution


(fr): Rise of (x)


(fr): Legend of (x)


(fr): Death of (x)


(fr): The Fall of (Z)


(fr): (Z) Falls


(fr): (x) Forever


(fr): Death and Return of (x)


(fr): (x) Goes to (l)


(fr): The Treasure of (l)


(fr): Apocalypse


(fr): Resurrection


(fr): 3D


(fr): (x) Rises


(fr): Codename (Z)


(fr): Lost in (l)


(fr): All Stars


(fr): (x) Strikes Back


(fr): The Movie


(fr): & (Y)


(fr): (Z) Of Blood


(fr): (Z) of Fear


(fr): (x)'s Odyssey


(fr): Shadow of (Z)


(fr): (x) and his (Z)


(fr): The Battle of (l)


(fr): Roar of (x)


(fr): Conquest of (l)


(fr): (x) Lives!


(fr): (Z) Rage


(fr): The (Z) Wars


(fr): War of (Z)


(fr): (Z) Soldier


(fr): (x) in (z) (l)


(fr): Revolution


(fr): 2: Electric Boogaloo


(fr): Homologation Special


(fr): (x)'s Lair


(fr): Destruction of (l)


(fr): Misadventures of (x)


(fr): (Z) of Dreams


(fr): The Return


(fr): Reloaded


(fr): Defender of (l)


(fr): Hunt for (Y)'s Gold


(fr): (Z) Hunter


(fr): (Z) Hunter (Y)


(fr): Hunt for (Z)


(fr): The First (Z)


(fr): (x) does (location)


(fr): The Last (Z)


(fr): (z) Force


(fr): The New (Z)


(fr): The Revenge


(fr): The Sacred (Z)


(fr): The Golden (Z)


(fr): The (l) Heist


(fr): (Z) Strike


(fr): Medicine Woman


(fr): (X) The Adventurer


(fr): (Z) Quest


(fr): (x)'s Quest


(fr): (x)'s Curse


(fr): Curse of (x)


(fr): (Z) of Blood


(fr): The Next Generation


(fr): Generation


(fr): Mystery of (Z)


(fr): Story of (X)


(fr): Bloodlines


(fr): Die, (x) Die!


(fr): (G) under Fire


(fr): (Z) Patrol


(fr): (Z) Star


(fr): (x)'s Day Out


(fr): (x) Jr.


(fr): Brothers in (Z)


(fr): (Z) Apocalypse


(fr): (x)'s Caper


(fr): (x)'s Revenge


(fr): Land of (Z)


(fr): (X)'s Rage


(fr): (X) meets (Y)


(fr): King of (Z)


(fr): The Motion Picture


(fr): Ghost of (x)


(fr): (Z) Crusade


(fr): The (Z) Master


(fr): (g) Against the World


(fr): (x) and the (z)


(fr): (x)'s (z) Adventure


(fr): Mythologies


(fr): (z) Alliance


(fr): Deception


(fr): Armageddon


(fr): (x) Origins


(fr): Bride of (x)


(fr): Project (Z)


(fr): (x) Hero


(fr): Age of (Z)


(fr): Nightmare on (l)


(fr): Siege of (l)


(fr): Dead (Z)


(fr): (Z) in Time


(fr): (Z) Attack


(fr): Princess (x) in (l)


(fr): Princess (x) in (Z) Kingdom


(fr): Journey to (l)


(fr): Raid on (l)


(fr): Raid of (l)


(fr): (x) 2014


(fr): (x) 2050


(fr): (x) 2099


(fr): Revelations


(fr): Road to (l)


(fr): The (Z) that Eats People


(fr): Journey to (l)


(fr): Year 1


(fr): Challenge of (x)


(fr): Wrath of (X)


(fr): (z) Of Death


(fr): Starring (X)


(fr): Day of Reckoning


(fr): (z) Evolved


(fr): (z) Master


(fr): (x) is Missing


(fr): (z) Nights


(fr): (z) United


(fr): The Search for (x)


(fr): The (x) Warriors


(fr): The Path of (x)


(fr): Clash of (z)


(fr): Deadly (z)


(fr): Extreme (z)


(fr): Xtreme(z)


(fr): (X) Beyond


(fr): (x) Legends


(fr): (z ) Rescue


(fr): Seeds of (X)


(fr): The (x) Factor


(fr): The Lost (X)


(fr): (Z) Adventures


(fr): Chronicles


(fr): Chronicles of (X)


(fr): Chronicles of (z)


(fr): King of (l)


(fr): Unleashed


(fr): Perchance to (z)


(fr): The (l) of the (Z)


(fr): (z) Chaos


(fr): The (z) is Rising


(fr): (Z) Impact


(fr): (z) of Doom


(fr): Mark of (z)


(fr): Mark of (x)






(fr): The (Z) Within


(fr): (x) (G)


(fr): (x) of War


(fr): Ultimate (z)


(fr): Lethal (z)










Then, using the replace all options replace fr): for the Franchise of choice(put a colon in there as well) (x) for the lead character (y) for a secondary character (Z) for an element of the franchise (l) for a location (G) for gender(Man, Boy, Girl Woman).



For example, let’s try Dead or Alive. Replace all fr): for Dead or Alive as such:



Using the same method replace (x) for Kasumi, (y) for Ayane, (Z) for boobs (l) for Ass Mountain and (G) for Girl. It should look like this.



Dead or Alive: Girl of action


Dead or Alive: A Girl and his Boobs


Dead or Alive: Flight of Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Secret Boobs


Dead or Alive: Revolutionary Girl Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Girl of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Adventures in Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Adventures of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Syndrome


Dead or Alive: The Boobs Protocol


Dead or Alive: Boobs Fury


Dead or Alive: Boobs Dream


Dead or Alive: Rise of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Ass Mountain Rising


Dead or Alive: Revenge of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Return of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Escape from Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Returns


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Begins


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi vs Ayane


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: The Boobs King


Dead or Alive: Tales of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's World


Dead or Alive: Boobs World


Dead or Alive: Attack of the Boobs


Dead or Alive: Back to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Return to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Evolution


Dead or Alive: Rise of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Legend of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Death of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: The Fall of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Falls


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Forever


Dead or Alive: Death and Return of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Goes to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: The Treasure of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Apocalypse


Dead or Alive: Resurrection


Dead or Alive: 3D


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Rises


Dead or Alive: Codename Boobs


Dead or Alive: Lost in Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: All Stars


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Strikes Back


Dead or Alive: The Movie


Dead or Alive: & Ayane


Dead or Alive: Boobs Of Blood


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Fear


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Odyssey


Dead or Alive: Shadow of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi and his Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Battle of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Roar of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Conquest of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Lives!


Dead or Alive: Boobs Rage


Dead or Alive: The Boobs Wars


Dead or Alive: War of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Soldier


Dead or Alive: Kasumi in Boobs Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Revolution


Dead or Alive: 2: Electric Boogaloo


Dead or Alive: Homologation Special


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Lair


Dead or Alive: Destruction of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Misadventures of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Dreams


Dead or Alive: The Return


Dead or Alive: Reloaded


Dead or Alive: Defender of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Hunt for Ayane's Gold


Dead or Alive: Boobs Hunter


Dead or Alive: Boobs Hunter Ayane


Dead or Alive: Hunt for Boobs


Dead or Alive: The First Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi does (location)


Dead or Alive: The Last Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Force


Dead or Alive: The New Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Revenge


Dead or Alive: The Sacred Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Golden Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Ass Mountain Heist


Dead or Alive: Boobs Strike


Dead or Alive: Medicine Woman


Dead or Alive: Kasumi The Adventurer


Dead or Alive: Boobs Quest


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Quest


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Curse


Dead or Alive: Curse of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Blood


Dead or Alive: The Next Generation


Dead or Alive: Generation


Dead or Alive: Mystery of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Story of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Bloodlines


Dead or Alive: Die, Kasumi Die!


Dead or Alive: Girl under Fire


Dead or Alive: Boobs Patrol


Dead or Alive: Boobs Star


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Day Out


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Jr.


Dead or Alive: Brothers in Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Apocalypse


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Caper


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Revenge


Dead or Alive: Land of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Rage


Dead or Alive: Kasumi meets Ayane


Dead or Alive: King of Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Motion Picture


Dead or Alive: Ghost of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Crusade


Dead or Alive: The Boobs Master


Dead or Alive: Girl Against the World


Dead or Alive: Kasumi and the Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi's Boobs Adventure


Dead or Alive: Mythologies


Dead or Alive: Boobs Alliance


Dead or Alive: Deception


Dead or Alive: Armageddon


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Origins


Dead or Alive: Bride of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Project Boobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Hero


Dead or Alive: Age of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Nightmare on Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Siege of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Dead Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs in Time


Dead or Alive: Boobs Attack


Dead or Alive: Princess Kasumi in Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Princess Kasumi in Boobs Kingdom


Dead or Alive: Journey to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Raid on Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Raid of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Kasumi 2014


Dead or Alive: Kasumi 2050


Dead or Alive: Kasumi 2099


Dead or Alive: Revelations


Dead or Alive: Road to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: The Boobs that Eats People


Dead or Alive: Journey to Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Year 1


Dead or Alive: Challenge of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Wrath of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Of Death


Dead or Alive: Starring Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Day of Reckoning


Dead or Alive: Boobs Evolved


Dead or Alive: Boobs Master


Dead or Alive: Kasumi is Missing


Dead or Alive: Boobs Nights


Dead or Alive: Boobs United


Dead or Alive: The Search for Kasumi


Dead or Alive: The Kasumi Warriors


Dead or Alive: The Path of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Clash of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Deadly Boobs


Dead or Alive: Extreme Boobs


Dead or Alive: XtremeBoobs


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Beyond


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Legends


Dead or Alive: (z ) Rescue


Dead or Alive: Seeds of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: The Kasumi Factor


Dead or Alive: The Lost Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Boobs Adventures


Dead or Alive: Chronicles


Dead or Alive: Chronicles of Kasumi


Dead or Alive: Chronicles of Boobs


Dead or Alive: King of Ass Mountain


Dead or Alive: Unleashed


Dead or Alive: Perchance to Boobs


Dead or Alive: The Ass Mountain of the Boobs


Dead or Alive: Boobs Chaos


Dead or Alive: The Boobs is Rising


Dead or Alive: Boobs Impact


Dead or Alive: Boobs of Doom


Dead or Alive: Mark of Boobs


Dead or Alive: Mark of Kasumi






Dead or Alive: The Boobs Within


Dead or Alive: Kasumi Girl


Dead or Alive: Kasumi of War


Dead or Alive: Ultimate Boobs


Dead or Alive: Lethal Boobs






See, now you don’t Have to make an uninspired name. You can just FIND one We’re done!



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