Saturday, October 24, 2009

Fan Art Review Time Vol II: F.A.R.T. Harder

 Lads and gents, the section that vivisects the worst fanworks Deviant Art Has to offer is back.  But the section has a confession to make. You see, the F.A.R.T has been living in denial, and it's time to come out of the closet.

Now don't act so so surprised. You saw Apocalypse Shadow's necklace: those where signs: F.A.R.T. is gay. So let's lisp our way into this edition's entries.

As always, I only do this in the spirit of betterment of the community. And Clicks. But mostly betterment.

Total Drama Lesbiaaans! For all the ships you could do of of that show... Lindsay/Izzy is one of them.
And I could buy it from Izzy too. What I can't buy is that the author would post this up.

Most of Lindsay and Izzy's body has become wireframes, as if they where burnt bodies that they put clothes on and posed. The characters also have no faces but for their very blue and green eyelashes.

The author even has better pieces than this. Why upload something so amateurish and incomplete? Look, someday we'll have a big site called "" and we'll upload anything we want there. But meanwhile please, no more bitmap atrocities like this.

On to my criticism...FUCKING FINISH IT! Really, I've seen your other work. You can do more than stick figures!

It surprised me a bit, too.  Generally  shipping doesn't involve the same character falling for itself, because then you gotta wonder if it's incest, masturbation or some new paraphilia that doesn't have a name yet. But one of this is apparently not Fry. Take it away, artist!

"Using the Clone-O-Mat that the Professor fixed, Fry copied himself into four and it ran out of power :faint: Two of Fry's clones teased the other one named Tori (who likes cute stuff) and had fun with Amy, Bender and Zoidberg who laughed at the poor Fry duplicate :icontarddanceplz: He befriends the original Fry and becomes a cute friend of his, bacause Leela's confused and reckons which one's the real Fry"
So yeah, one of this guys is the clone of the other. Turned out to  be a gay clone. Who turned his original into a gay.

 "Well Played, sir"

The lines aren't too bad. Some proportional loss around the neck. Expected stuff, because the deceptive simplicity of Groening type design bellows a steep learning curve.

But what really angers me isn't the turning of a straight guy into a gay guy. My beef is that apparently this character belongs to someone named Jenny Ngo, I assume the name behind the screenname.

Look, Jenny, I don't know how copyright works in Africa, but I'm fairly certain you don't own Fry, or the concept of being a homosexual.  And really, that's all there is to your original character.

I suggest  if you really want your gay Fry to be special, at least fab him up a bit, aye? While you at it, give him a partner that isn't his blood related, because incest still hasn't been lobbied into acceptability.

What? It SO is on the pattern. Have you seen the way Obi Wan talks in this show? It's gayer than Ziro the Hutt  eating a rainbow while  entering a hair salon in San Francisco.

But what we have here is an attempt at epic, as the cut up, crushed remains of Ahsoka, Obi Wan,  Anakin, and  Padme  are  surrounded by the lyrics of Chad Kroegger's "Hero". Never mind that it was the soundtrack to Spider-Man, let's turn this into an AMV!

First up, the author of the piece didn't know how to pull off the look of the show.Second, while the background isn't half bad the characters are completely flat and disproportionate like hell. There is some shading in there, but come on! Shading can't save this. Thirdly just look at those expressions:  Ahsoka looks like she smells shit, Obi Wan looks to be saying something while being mad(probably describing the cost of Nichole Richie's house for a VH1 show, no doubt), Padme looks Asian and Anakin looks like he's about to kill himself with his lightsaber.

I would honestly suggest study of human anatomy. You can't just jump from 0 to the flash-turned-CG of Clone Wars.

Either way, you guys can get better if you get out of the closet of laziness, uncreative design, and Star Wars Guro. And remember that F.A.R.T. is here to stay, so get used to it!


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