Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Capcom Timeline

Now, to sing us their latest hit "Rwooorwooo"...CAT FEVER!

What will come of the future? I used to think it would be as presented in fiction that was older than me: Flying cars, Flying backpacks and silver pleather tights. Then I thought it'd be a charred husk of desert where we survive until roaming gangs find us. I've since learned that the future is never what we expect. Amazing people work in things we don't imagine, evil people plan things we don't want to imagine, and silver pleather is never gonna be in style.

However, that doesn't mean that we can't look at fiction for a peek at what could be. For example...what if every Capcom game set on the future happened in a single timeline? What would our sons and daughters have to look forward to on it?

I mean, after all, the characters of Capcom games often intermix and coexist. Street Fighter and Final Fight share a universe. Chun Li(or a Chun Li looking Robot) shows up in Megaman 9. Jin from Cyberbots shows up un Tech Romancer. If it's all true, then let's see if it all fits.

First, a little Background...

Street Fighter 2-3 (1980s and 90s)

Terrorist leader M.Bison unsuccessfully tries to use martial arts contests to rule the world(should I even say it? I mean, it IS his quote). Bicolor Messianic cult leader Gill also attempts the same.

Bush Sr is a charge character, too.

Final Fight (1980s and 90s)

Gang violence erupts in Metro City, prompting several skirmishes between a small group of vigilantes and the gang members.

Resident Evil- 1998

A viral outbreak in Racoon city leads to the nuclear annihilation of it. Sporadic outbreaks take place after that.

Onimusha 3-1592 and 2004

Time traveling demons invade France, pissing of Jean Reno real bad.

Resident Evil 5-2009

The mastermind behind the viral outbreaks in Racoon City is finally delivered the kind of justice only Lava and rocket launchers can make.

Dino Crisis-2009

Paramilitary forces storm Ibis island, where they enter in contact with dinosaurs. By "come in contact with", I mean, "mostly get eaten by".

Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight-2010

Learned the gene splice from Cyclops.

Genetically engineered entity ravages several whole planets and mutates their populace until stopped by martial artist/scientist Ken Masters.

It goes without saying from here on up things did not come to pass.

Phoenix Wright- 2016

Two years after the increase in crime has lead to a complete subversion of how the justice system works and pretty much set human rights back decades, it's clear the system is here to stay.

Captain Commando-2026

The de-evolution of human rights and the increase in crime has finally lead to a baby in a robot suit punching people being not illegal in any way


Megaman: 200X-20XX(Between the year 2000 and the year 2099. It obviously did not happen while you was watching the second X-Men movie)

Seriously, somebody shoot Dr Willy.

Concern is raised when the advanced robotic technology that has become standard is being abused by criminals.

Battle Circuit- 20XX(Between the year 2010 and the year 2099. It obviously did not happen while you was watching the X-Men Prequel)

A group of mercenaries become engaged in unconventional warfare with an intergalactic gang for control of weapons of mass destruction. One of said mercenaries is a little girl in an ostrich that has an eyepatch.


If you point out that this isn't that specific Grandmaster, I will murder you in your sleep.

Mysterious Posthuman dictator "the Grandmaster" takes over the earth, until assassinated by Strider Hiryu.

Cyberbots: Full Metal Madness- Near the end of the 21rst Century(Let's say from 2080-2099)

Pangalactic empire faces scandal involving using children as energy, which created huge negative feedback of the "giants mechs punching each other" variety.

Yeah, yeah, children into energy. I just want to know what your stance is on gay marriage.

Tech Romancer- ("The Far Future." Not so far that Jin Saotome from Cyberbots can't show up. Though who knows how long people of his time live?)

An alien invasion generates skirmishes among mech pilots.

Steel Battalion- Heavy Armor-2082

Computers have stopped existing, probably as backlash for the whole "children as energy" shit. Also, there was a sever drought in creative mech design. Probably on account of the Mech centric city stompings in Cyberbots and Tech Romancer.

Megaman X: 21XX(A Hundred years after Megaman Uno. I.E. From 2100 to 2199)

Self aware machines initiate revolt against humanity.

Seriously, Boomerant. That's what he oughta be called.

Star Gladiator: -2348

Pangalactic Empire of one Bad Darth Vader clone falls.

Plasma Sword: Nightmare of Bilstein -2349

Pangalactic Empire strikes back with Ghost Darth Vader clone in tow.

Dino Crisis 3-2548

Clearly Jurassic Park AND 2001: A Space Odyssey have been forgotten, because some jerk scientists have decided to put their Jurassic Park inside their Rogue A.I. space station.

Megaman Legends-80XX

The earth is now mostly flooded and whether the people left in it are traditional humans is anyone's guess. I warned you guys abut the space dinos!


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