The Lost Marvel Episode X: Swamp Ass

The Lost Marvel Episode X: Swamp Ass

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

Freckles Marvel's hometown of Marveltown (population 2202, formerly Skunktown) is a pretty strange place. Did you know there's a an old hermit in the swampy outskirts of town that everyone is afraid of? Well, aparently there is.

As our story begins, Mary is meeting the Freckles, who is on her way to deliver a basket of goodies to said stranger.

He doesn't do those evil dances, though.

Sadly, the stranger shows himself an angry costumer.

A crabby hermit, indeed.

However, Freckles insists. This is when guns are pulled.

This is the kind of thing I'm afraid might happen to me in America.

Look at that face. It took her a while, but Freck is finally gearing to understand that weapons can kill. Mary blasts her out of there, before things get bloody. You see, kids? Always judge a book by it's cover, all rumors are true, trust no introverts.

"Except the stories about him being a magic user. Those are false."

Their charity night a bust, the girls decide to go see a movie. Except they run into a bank robber along the way. It looks like a job for several goddesses in a bundle and one halfwit teen!

Now she's called Neckbrace Marvel.

While Mary makes sure Freckles still has neck left, the thief gets away. I guess she really didn't hit him hard enough this time.  So they track him to the swamps, where they try again to interact with the hermit. He's again overly hostile.

STOP SAYING HOLEY MOLEY!

Unhelped, they leave and split up to hunt for the criminal.  However the hermit has other plans...

OLD HERMIT USES QUICKSAND! IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

After  Mary gets her out, they again find the Hermit, who claims not to remember having ever tried to  kill Freckles.  Immediately, Mary Marv knows what's up.

GIMME YOR FACE!

Finally, the whole thing is cleared up, and the Hermit turns out to be a nice man.

"Hey, it's either this or listen to Captain Marvel JR prattle endlessly about hating Captain Nazi.

 This one showed us Freckles at her must humane. of her own volition and without imput from no one, she set out to help the towns pariah, and learns a less on about looking beyond the perception of a person.

Is this the  end of the series? It seems that way. I want to thank the heroes at the Digital Comics Museum, who made this series possible.  I made this series to inform you, my dear viewer, and without their selfless acts of scanning, uploading and making the comics available, I myself would have also remained in the dark. This are MOST of the titles listed on Comic Vine. So until I get my hands on more, this is my effort. It cannot be said that nobody brought back Freckles Marvel because they didn't know. And now, having read most of them, it cannot be said no one liked her either.

Will she come back? Hey, everything's possible. And technically...you could do it. I've done my best to inform. The rest...is up to you.

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The Lost Marvel Episode IX: Chessbursters

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

This latest issue begins when Mary Marvel hears a violent agression, and it turns out our own Freckles Marvel is our perpetrator. But why? I bet there was some ragequitting involved!

She also said polkadots are out!

In order to apease her violent impulses, Mary taked FreckMar to the old toy shop so she can polish her basic Chess skills. But some thugs follow them home.

Yeah, let's not just take what we want.

They bound and gag Mary Dudely, and Mary Batson is forced to use her powers. However, they know their tropes well.

Well, she can't do that with her mouth covered, can she?

For the Evols!

Upon hearing they are not the only people to have their chess sets stolen, they go on the factory to look for clues. Instead...they find the actual thieves working there. Naturally, it
's clobbering time.

Mary Marvel is a union breaker.

Turns out it was all a complicated scheme to smuggle expensive jewels! Our heroines then coles out the whole "chess arc".

"The only way we could safely get away with theft was if we robed what we had  stolen! Like gods, we were!

So, as it turns out, Mary Marvel checking on her mate, Freckles  allowed them to enroque in an great adventured. Despite her checkered past and nearly being pawned, FM herself   succesfully somemore chesspuns!


Bonus Round

Uh.., you can't train for chess by yourself, dimwit.

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The Lost Marvel Episode VII: Beast Wars

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

...+ryona +Freckles_Marvel +2girls...

That's right. Let it sink in. That's Freckie's appelation: The Teen-Ager of Mischief. Not quite New 52 shit, but good enough. Also let it sink in that Freckles Marvel is getting murdered while a guy laughs. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

In this story a contrast in approaches is presented. When shown a library, Mary Batson, secretly Mary Marvel, the World's Strongest Girl chooses to enter it and learn something. Mary Dudely, openly Freckles Marvel, the Teen-Ager of Mischief, would rather jump over a tall spiky fence. You know, just to see what would happen. She naturally gets stuck.

A skip, a hop and a Khalo.

Suddenly she spots several shady figures  jumping the fence! She naturally assumes something is amiss, because none of them are Freckles Marvel. She goes on to investigate.

Indeed, a burglary! Immediately changing into her Mary Marvel cosplay changing into her Freckles Marvel costume, she immediately starts busting into the scene and then...

Ugga! That's just a country bumpkin cheerleader!

"My tendency to not diferentiate between animal faces and human faces is my downfall!

The Passion of the Freakin Crist over here.

Humor aside, the character drops out of "delusional superhero mode" and delegates to people with actual superpowers.

I'm sure they'll just stay there like morons!

They track down the beasts and their owner, again, we get a contrast between demigodish immortality and, you know, some crazy girl in a costume.

Man, the WWE's gotten weird.

Freckles Marvel getting choked does not inhibit Mary Marvel's humane side, and she  bribes them with food to distract them.

Is Freckles getting her fingers eaten up, yet?

Fed, the animals lead MM and FM to their owner, who quickly gets some what for from the latter.

Does the sound of two teenagers sound anything like 3 animals? Serious question.

And so our heroines  quip away the story.

Was she supposed to look exasperated?

You know, sidekicks get a lot of grief in the Superhero business, and I can see that Freckles Marvel  would be troubling as part of the Marvel Family as a sidekick of a sidekick. However, as the sidekick of Mary Marvel in her solo comics, you can see there's a lot of uses for a character such as this. This story showed that  Freckles Marvel would not be able to fully beat crimes herself, but her natural dumb luck plays into involving Mary Marvel. This story was pretty fun.

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The Lost Marvel: Episode VI: Play Money.

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

It's time to again laught AT the FM and not with her. See, when this story starts Mary Marvel is just finding out Freckles Marvel has  a new gig: delivery girl. She's riding around Marveltown, delivering packages, back in the red costume. she invites Mary along, and she delivers a misterious package.

"Come on! Why won't she eat it!?"

But naturally, some people alert her to the fact she's gone done fucked this up. She gave the hair tonic to the rich lady,  and the gun to the bald guy! And the bald guy badly misplaced the gun!

Do you feel ducky, punk?

This might seem all too serious to you, but Mary Marvel finds it hilarious. 

Hee Hee! You can''t trancscend your phiical limitations!

So Mfrecks only gets payed by the one guy,and goes out to buy  a dress. Nothng like good, hard earned...

Doesn't everyone in Marveltown know that Freckles is...you know..."special?"

So Mary Marvel goes out and tries to clear Freckles Marvel's name by punching assholes.

And he never again walked the easy path. Or walked in a general way.

Eventually, she uses the wisdom of Athena to clear Freckles Marvel from all crimes. Will she leave the fast paced, dangerous life of a delivery girl behind?

I just want them off my court before they find about my corruption and punch me in the kidneys.

Haha! No.This one's unusual in that MFrecks did not only did not solve the problem, but that even Mary Marvel's view of her wasn't all that great. If we're being fair, Freckles Marvel could probably not solve all this types of crimes herself all the time. Still, a good story in my opinion.

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The Lost Marvel Episode V: Go Home and be a Freckles Marvel!

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

Sexism. Now that I have your attention, I think it's high time we talked about gender politics in this series. One of the character IS a...dumb ugly young woman, to be blunt. And yet, the character's positive aspects keep getting played up. For example, in this story, which starts with Mary Batson visiting her friend Freckles Dudley, just as she's winning the swimming medal the first of 3 sporting events during somekind of ecclectic thriatlon. She shows them the team. One of them is immediatly a sexist asshole.

And...and...and my penis is huge! You whore!

Down one Man going His Own Way, Freckles immediately drafts Mary Batson into the team, and everone abides because remember; we are in Marveltown. The second event is soapbox car races. But when the team is getting there, Curly is sabotaging the car. They scare him off and drive. What's the worst that could happen?

She's one step closer to the edge, yet not about to brake.

But you know, they have Mary Marvel in there, so they don't die. And no one wonders why Mary Marvel apeared there where Mary Batson was just now. They are saved, but the race is lost.  There is but one way to settle this: Like the ancient Roman gladiators...

Uh...what?

In the wings, though, a deadly, male chauvinist predator lurks. Curly Tuff now shoots Freckles Marvel, clearly one of the best and most athletically cordinated dancers, ESPECIALLY more than the girl who can fly....with a slingshot. FRECKLES, LOOKOUT!

A Harlem Joke was appropriate in March, when I wrote this. 

And the judges eat it up! Marveltown wins! And  Curly gets spanked by his father!

He's name is Mr Tuff. All physical pain he causes while named that is justified.

Also, the judges are drunk.

You know, Freckles Marvel is probably what we would call a strong female character in this story. She's the captain of a sports team (Uh...CAPTAIN Freckles Marvel?) where she's also the best, and she's not even pretty. That's gotta count for something.  And we don't even need ay moralizing about Curly's sexism. It's like, dude, you're being a stubborn jackass. Stop. 

Bonus ROUND!

More or less this is the main picture of Freckles Marvel in Comic Vine as of the time of this writing. Why would they not choose one on her costume, but rather this one of her in the closest look at teh skimpiest clothes she wore? Hmm...

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The Lost Marvel Episode IV: Eef AH JUST SPREAD MY WIIIINGS!

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

So now you see that Freckles Marvel is not a one trick pony.  One the one hand, she's an insane, delusional, clumsy violent sociopath with no  self-preservation skills. On the other, she's fairly clever, posthumanly kind, and actually able to kick some ass every once in a while. Am I reading too much into it? Ha! Jokes on you, I'm never not reading too much into it.

Once again, Mary Batson is visiting her friend Mary Dudley, who is never again adressed as Mary even by her parents. Keep in mind, last time she got here it was by train, Clearly Mary Batson has taken a liking to her. Is it too early to ship em? Sadly nothing's happening.

Well, I always come in to check in case you've choked on your own tongue.

Nothing except the town inventor visiting Mary D's father to sell him a future flight enabled backpack called a  Birmobile. The idea of just a door to door jetpack salesman is not even that amazing to them.

Look at this money! You were going to a good University before I stepped into your life!

The device works fine, with the odd, immediate, potentially fatal technical glitch.

Sometimes I forget that "Holey Moley"is not the magic phrase!

Of course, Mary  Marvel saves the day. Naturally, they put on the device away and  never again touch it.

Just kidding. Freckles puts it on, while the captions helpfully explain that, yes, everyone around her knows she's a stubborn idiot and that they will not waste words trying to explain to her how bad the idea is.

They have to physically restrain her to keep her from downing bleach.

For a while, the character gets fullfilment, and achieves peace with her fantasy of being more like Mary Marvel...

With great power come great upskirts.

... until a tragic Icarian  situation goes over. (See...read too much into it yet again). For a few pages Mary D flies all over town, wrecking shit, almost killing people, and caing general mischief. Until she's just about to die. That's when  Mary M steps in for the save.

See? What'd I tell you about upskirts!

This is why you skipped out on MKvsDC, Mary.

The Shazam girl uses her acronym powered wisdom to fix the machine, and since  both Dudely's are now fully against it, she tests it herself as Mary Batson. It's kind of a dick move, I say. Or is it a vag move? It's some kind of terrible genital move to try a device for flight even thought you can fly.

Hey! If you're not dying, you pay extra!

But speaking of assholes, Mr inventor guy now wants his invention back because it works. The nuts on this guy, I tell you. Luckilly, when they give him the device the towns people accuse him of the damage Mary D's ride caused. And also...

IT'S THE LAW, ASSHOLE!

And so our heroines plead their goodbyes.

I'm glad I'm here instead of fighitng Captain Nazi!

This one did not raised my opinion of FMarv more than the last one, but I guess seeing Mary fly across the sky reminds me of her plight to be a hero, despite not being quite Marvel potential. It's also not the only one of a series I like to call "What if Freckles Marvel could fly?" Manifesting the character struggling with the conflict of her desires, and what happens when they obviously turning out quite different.

Whoa. See, there I go again.

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