Lost to the Internet: "That European girl was huge"

The faking of the lunar landing was cooler than we thought.

At one time, Anime was "exotic".  Different from all the western animation we grew up with, and with enough Boobs and blood in it for the boys to consider past the age of great changing(AKA "Puberty"). But over time, with our internet connections expanding actual access, and we all having a DA account, many are burnt out on the style and consider it a cliche already.

I guess this  applies to me a bit as well. Anime that my cousin  rented such as Vampire Hunter D made me thirst for more, and while my finances whern't on a "import some" level, I did rent certain one's like Ayane's  High Kick and Hyper Speed Grandall and Ninja Scroll. Anything that promised bare female pectorals, really.

That'll do, Hyper Speed Grandall. That'll do.

Once I aquired Direct TV and access to Animax, I did get enough of a look at Anime to realize it wasn't all nipslips and showers scenes. While that was a massive disappointment,  I did develop a love for various series.  And one of those was Ran: The Samurai Girl.

 Better known as "Carried by the Wind", it followed a Sake addicted drifter swords-woman named Ran, and her partner and...enabler, Meow as they drifted from one side of old Japan in search for drinks and money to pay them.

Not surprised It's not exactly as known as Rorouni Kenshin or Hetalia. Not as much spank material or brooding, broody broodsters with long hair. What I'm surprised at , though, is that in a time where the word "weaboo" is used, no one remembers an Anime once made fun of Otaku.

So let's talk about Episode 10: "That European Girl was Huge".

A European girl, minus hugeness.

As the episode starts, our heroines are watching a a sideshow act with an elephant. An animal foreign to Japan, this amuses and surprises the more stoic Ran, while Meow seems unimpressed. When the show ends several merchants selling what I think is elephant themed junk food show up. Ran snaps them up, using Meow's money.

But a fight erupts and our heroines rush to see what the deal is. Apparently a giant European woman is picking up a fight with  a thuggish swordsman who pushed an old lady.

Marzgurl, let the guy alone and go back to reviewing Land before Time sequels...

Now, this isn't just some foreigner who looks tall because she's a westerner in an anime.  This is truly the spawn of the gods because when no one helps the old lady, she yanks the woodden support right out of a building and proceeds to beat the hell out of everyone for not being proper samurai.

Tutorials getting worse, or what?

A quick elbow to the gut by Ran, though, and she falls down like a bag of potatoes. Ran and Meow take her in, and when she wakes up she reveals her name is Stefanie(they will not call her this because it's too hard) and that she came to Japan with her businessman father, and that she's learned all about Japan. Well, almost all.

And they are all called either Suzuki San...Sato san, or Tanaka San!

So in her skewed view, Ran is a Samurai, and then she can train her. Ran wants nothing to do with it and neither does Meow, so they run away from her, but Meows bag full of food breaks, leaving a trail for Stefanie to follow. Stefanie, of course, thinks Meow is a ninja, because she left a trail. When Meow points out her outfit is not of a ninja, Meow comes to the natural conclusion.

Also, you can turn into Kamen Rider! And tentacle-rape girls!

Unable to defeat the barriers of culture and naivete that keep  Stefanie enchanted with becoming a Samurai, Ran gives her a letter that is supposed to make her finally a Samurai when delivered, but is actually a note to the police so that they arrest the confused foreigner. And go away she does,only to later  help a group of Yakuza opposed the Yakuza Meow and Ran  where hired to help.  Then shit gets real.

We need  fresh Samurai! Check the expiration date this time!

Stefanie obliterates both sides of the battle using what I assume is the same column from before and demands a duel to the death with Ran, since she has surpassed the "master" and apparently Samurai are Sith. A fight ensues, and let me point out that in an unusual twist on the  whole slow giant vs nimble sword warrior idea, Stefanie kind of kicks Ran's ass. Meow tries to intervene(but not using her fighting skills. (Should have pointed out earlier she's a kung fu type fighter,I think) and tells  Stefanie this isn't the Way of the warrior, but Stefanie isn't falling for no Ninja shit!

In the end, Ran defeats her by fighting dirty, including what I assume is a callback to that fight from the Princess Bride with a super choke hold. But more than that, I think she was taken down by the deconstruction of her idealized version of Japan.

I don't care if it's a swordfight; sweep the fucking leg and shoot them!

In the end, our heroines convince the foreigner to go home for their own economic and financial well being and she agrees to.

Hulk saaaad...

She agrees to go back to her country and train even harder to become a Samurai using ridiculously inaccurate literature.

I for one, think the internet need to look more at this episode more. For one, in our age of  where whole sites are dedicated to whitewashing of anime adaptations, it tells  kind of a bizarro The Last Samurai, where no, you CAN"T belong to a nation because you spent a winter there. You CAN'T get it in a montage. I can tell you stories of foreigners who. after many years did become Puerto Rican, but it's not as easy as the movies show. And finally...it's a blond, freckled giantess in a Kimono. How many fetishes more does it need to become rule 34? Get on it, Internet!