Thursday, November 20, 2014

Kudos to Fox

Fox gets a lot of flack for a company that's not particularly more evil than  Disney,  or Comcast. Because while Disney might straight up rip off a Holocaust Victim's story and Comcast might make you lose faith in Capitalism,  what really makes people mad here is when you get Street Fighter wrong.
I'd expect the people who came up with "Fox Kids" to know better.

But lately they've done a great thing for me. Remember my article about the ways I would ruin your franchise? Well, let me refresh your memory a bit.
Ew. The tears taste like sweaty, salty Mountain Dew.

Get it? It's funny because it's the kind of dumb thing movie makers would do! Take a fantastical character that has endured decades  and reduce him to just some guy, some businessman or something like that! You know, like when Shredder was gonna be Col. Shrader, or when Galactus was a cloud.
"This place will become your grave, after you die from the heartbreak over displacement my oil company will do to your tribe."

Well, Toby Kebell, who will be playing Doom, says that it's gonna be sort of like that.

Good play, Fox! Just in case anyone still thought this was the movie that "rectifies" Fantastic 4 after the previous ones, especially Dr Doom, who was every villain except Dr Doom and Bluto from Popeye,  you sweep in with something like that. Dr Doom, the angry blogger? What's the Silver Surfer do, browse 9gag?
"And check out this sweet Half Life 2 Map Doom made!"
And we know you. You don't back out of terrible movie ideas on a good day, and this is more of a "keep Galactus from reverting back to Disney" day. You know that Disney would put that shit onscreen and make it awesome and faithful and make all the money. You wouldn't. You don't even care. You don't even care that you don't care.

And yet, somehow, I suspect screwing up this beloved silver age superheroes by making a crappy ass, found footage movie about 4 superheroes fighting a blogger  like it's 1996 or some shit will bring you money in the long run. You are despicable and devious. My hat is off to you.


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