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| WAITTA...WHY DIDN'T YOU ADD MY FACE TO THE GRAPHIC? IT'S ALL ABOUT MARIO THE BIG STAR, INNIT? |
Look, we're all wont to admit that sometimes things can be a little stupider if you actually pay attention to them. When I was young I loved the hell out of some Super Mario Bos. Super show intro, even thought the language barrier kept me from understanding what it was saying. But I got the point of this embarassingly old school rap: Super Mario Brothers are awesome, get daddy to buy you a Nintendo.
However, I decided now to look into these lyrics, and see what they're about. And they're just aweful. So throuroughly awful, in fact, I must go into excrutiating detail of each verse and rhyme until I can unbreak them. Here it is. Follow along at home if you must.
We're the Mario Brothers(No good Hip Hop song ever began with "We're Blank". Even then, this is how lame parents rapped.), and plumbing's our game(It is? Seriously don't you want to rap about being famous adventurers?), we're not like the others who get all the fame("Other plumbers gettin' all the fame, son. We wasting our time collecting gold coins and shit") If your sink is in trouble you can call us on the double(Goddamn you! Nobody's ever cared about the plumber aspect of your lives!).
We're faster than the others(Okay, tell me your stupid rates, then), you'll be hooked on the brothers(What?)
I said hooked on the brothers.(No, I heard you the first time. I mean, are you still talking about digging into my toilet or about the addictive qualities of Super Mario 2? Because I'm not sure I want to be "hooked"on getting my damn plumbing fixed))
You you're in for a treat so hang on to your seat(Toilet Seat?)
Get ready for adventure and remarkable feats. (Finally! Unambiguosly not about shit pipes!)
Y'all meet koopas and troopas, the princess and the others(Koopas and Troopas are the same! And way to alienate the shyguys and birdos that just happen to take a more central stage in this show!")
Hanging with the brothers you'll be hooked on the brothers!(Brothers don't let Brothers rhyme with themselves.)
Yet again!(peet peet, peet, pee peet, peepeet pee, peet! Hey, no one ever said the Mario theme isn't catchy)
Hooked I say. (FASTER! STRONGER! MORE HOOKED ON A CARICATURE OF ITALIANS!)
Oooooh!
Let's go!
The Brothers(But not like"ethnically Afro American peer" Brothers)
the Brothers(Even if this is being rapped by one)
the Brothers(Or maybe Mario and Luigi are not blood brothers.)
the Brothers.(Do Ital Americans call each other brother?)
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