Saturday, June 18, 2011

Another walk in the Park


Hey, I was right about MODOK, Wasn't I?

My earliest memory is that of a dream I was having. I saw a dinosaur, a Brontosarus, and...that was pretty much it.

I tell you this so you know, I've always had a thing for dinosaurs,  ever since I was a kid. Dinosaucers, Dino Riders, T-Rex... even for a boy with access to one channel, Dinosaurs where pretty prevalent in my childhood. Then Jurassic Park happened, and nothing could top it. The movie's over two decades old, and I've still to see dinosaurs as impressive and ALIVE as Jurassic Park's. If it seems hyperbole, what has been more so? King Kong? A Sound of Thunder? Land of the Lost? No. No. Jurassic Park.
Forever!

Which is why I'm excited about the rumored fourth movie in the franchise Spielberg is reportedly cooking up. Dinosaurs are way cooler than vampires and zombies which permeate the landscape now. The only reason there aren't 3 dinosaur movies a year is because a vampire is hard to screw up visually.  Zombies are easy to make on a budget. Dinosaurs? Try and save money and you'll end up with Carnosaur.
However, Jurassic Park doesn't have a Laura Dern's mom giving birth to a dinosaur, does it?


I do have some recomendations for Spieldberg. You know, I'm not somebody of importance or who knows his stuff, but I do believe the following things could make the next movie way better.

Yeah, nigersaurus, yeah!


More of the weirder Dinosaurs.

The franchise has spent most of the known Dinosaurs.AND Spinosaurus. But there are more dinosaurs out there that don't get no respect. Look at this guys. With a little  modification, all of them could have a place in the new films.
No way they'd do it.

No more Ingen Islands, and don't bring back anyone.

I mean, I like Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm, but every time they bring back this guys to whatever many islands there are left with dinosaurs in them, it an excercise in contrivance. Bring in Biosyn,  Ingen's dark nemesis from the books. Have them figure a way to create dinosaurs and then put the heroes in there.


That's an...extreme dinosaur...

Don't do that thing they said you where gonna do.
No.

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