Wednesday, June 22, 2011

More Heroes without a cause( that ain't stupid)

Also,  Starro's coming and all we've got to fight him is fucking arrows. But at least gaygaygyagyagyaygygaygaygaygays RIGHTSRIGHTSRIGHTERIGHTS.


There are many people around the world who will not survive to the end of this sentence. This is a sad truth of the world we live in. Think of at least 3 ways to solve that. Did at least one of those involve punching people in the face?

Well, that's because in the real world, you can't solve complex social and economic problems with punching and witty comebacks, silly goose. That would be crazy. Rel life requires consensus and sacrifice to make reforms work, and a keen awareness of history to keep things from slipping back down.
Don't smoke...because...villain!

However, nobody told the creators of two unlikely heros, that join the ranks of Marijuana Man and  Foreskin Man as the heroes that the world probably doesn't need.

Oddly enough, the first one is created by a famous/infamous Frank Miller, whose work on Daredevil and Batman has become iconic enough to be put into bad movies.

Ever since 911, the big two of comics, Marvel and DC, have pretty much agreed that it would be in poor taste to have their superheros fighting Al Quaeda. or other Islamic Terrorist organizations. After all, this would sully the memories of those who died, and continue to die at the hands of terrorism of the non Die Hard variety. However, Frank Miller, having somewhat a different taste of what is acceptable, has since 2006 touting  a planned Graphic Novel in which Batman fought and I guess defeated, AL Quaeda and Osama Bin Laden.

The story has since resurfaced as not starring DC's Batman, but an entirely new hero...the FIXER!


Sorry! Let me try again: THE FIXER!

The new Rorouni Kenshin will not fuck around with Shishio's bullshit.















Yes, the Fixer will bring Al Quaeda to justice for what they did.  Now, let me say that, yes, I do believe terrorist should be fought. Buuuuut...

Come on. It's 2011! Ten  years after the towers fell. Since then Osama Bin Laden has been gunned down. I don't think that will take down his organization, Final Fantasy style, but as the main face of Al Quaeda  to America and sought after military goal, this should signify the end of the "let's gettem!" part of the war. Some are saying it might present a satire or lampshading of American attitudes on the War on Terror, to which I say: You're even later to the party.

Everyone, EVERYONE has done that. From Prince of Persia to The Dark Knight. It's not 2006 anymore. Everyone did it, and I don't think Frank Miller's gonna do it better.





Folks, sometimes I feel bad about my drawing skills. I've always wanted to work on art. but I'm not that great at the pencils and lousier at the colors. And when I feel down on myself...I go to  Indie Planet, where anyone can post a comic, and sell it. The results come off like you'd expect:. The quality, mediocre, and insane all mingle in a melting pot of weird.
So STYLIZED!

So one day Batzarro is checking the offerings and comes across this:

Issue 1: ENTER PITBULL!




What was it. It used the font of the Planet of the Apes, but...it seemed to be about toking. So, you know, interest peaked.  What the hell plot puts together Marijuana and Planet of the Apes?

A stoner’s journey to legalize marijuana takes an unexpected twist in which they find themselves on a planet where only Apes can toke.  But where in the universe are they and how did this upside down world get started?

Or so goes the official synopsis. And in case you where wondering, between the part photoshopped, part poorly  drawn art there is a message in there. And there's like six issues of this thing, which I'm guessing hasn't been sued into oblivion because they don't know about it.










Now, I haven't read the book , but what is the big deal with Apes being able to use drugs, but humans aren't, if humanity is subjugated by apes? Isn't the subjugation the bigger evil? It's an admission that, yes, Legalizing Marijuana isn't the most important issue facing the world today, and for all it's benefits, most of it's advocates just want the one where they get to get high without fear of repercussion, not make pants out of Marijuana. Even the hero of this story is defined by being  a stoner.


And again, your audience is already there with you. Do you think people who are against legalization  want to read a terrible 6 Issue riff on Apes to be able to agree with you, especially one that looks this bad.

Sigh...
So, you know, if you're passionate about your beliefs, go ahead. Make a comic about it. Just...try to keep it from being stupid, mmmkay?

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