Friday, July 29, 2011

The Female anatomy(according to fan fics)

I just want to clear any missinformation out there: what you learned in Sex Education class (or as a course ina  more general health class) is a lie. This is how the true knowers of the female body, Fan Fiction writers, have come to the conclussion the female body works.

I'm putting it after the jump because I don't want the kids to learn this stuff.

Once you go'll never take off your fur-suit again.

1) The Breasts:  Big bags full of milk that sit on the chest of a woman. Every woman, no matter her age, from your little sister to Jaime Lee Curtis can shoot red hot strings of milk at any given moment. Breasts can be infinitely big with no ill effect to the wielder.

2) The Uterus: A Flexible bag, to which the only entrance is the vagina. It can stretch to allow women to have babies or fuck dragons.

3) The Squirt Gun: Now, how did you think women shot magic lady juice all over the place?

4) The Anus: A big whole in the ass of women. Similar to a man's anus, the subtle difference is a woman's anus is  just waiting for things to enter it. As I understand it, women love it when things enter it suddenly and without any lubrication. Also, poop, does come out of there, so it's prime scat fic prime state.

5) The Vagina: A cave of mystery we are yet to fully understand. We do know it shoots lady goo and urine, but the jury is still out on honey mustard and mayonnaise. Several mystery characters, such as the G-spot and  the clitoris, can only be unlocked through it. But the important part is that's where the penis goes. Or, you know, so I heard.


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